Post # 1
I think its finally hitting Boyfriend or Best Friend that he is moving in and he’s freaking out which in turn is making me freak out and cry. He’s moving from a studio where he had a huge walk in closet to my one bedroom. We’re going to move to a two bedroom in a few months, but in the meantime I moved fully out of the bedroom closet (we have another walk in I fil up) and moved things around so he has an office space but he still has a lot of stuff. I am also kind of ocd with wanting to make sure everything has a place and is not just strewn across the apartment.
So Boyfriend or Best Friend is freaking out and I am freaking out and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve given up as much space as I can and everything will fit, but Boyfriend or Best Friend is just freaking out. Sigh. I think its also the fact he is moving from his space into mine and although it made sense for us to move one apartment at a time, now I’m kind of wishing we just moved to the 2 bedroom right away.
Sigh. Sorry, just needed to get that out and any advice is much appreciated.
Post # 3
What specifically is he freaking out about?
See if you can address each worry/concern with a plan or a change.
Maybe if you need more space until you move, you could rent a storage space. Or buy some organizer items to help keep thins in order and in place.
I would also talk about roles and responsibilities. Bill paying, cooking, shopping etc. A lot of the scary stuff comes from the unknown so talk about everything.
Post # 4
@lefeymw: I think its mostly that he’s going from having his own space to having to share. We have plenty of space if we’re creative but he’s upset at having to put some of his stuff in storage boxes on top shelves and things. Things are just different than what he’s used to.
That being said, we’ve talked through most things, have opened a shared account to pay bills and rent out of and are already good at doing chores together (he’s been pseudo living here for 3 months, but has always had the safety of knowing his own apartment was just 10 minutes away).
Sigh, its just hard because he gets sullen and quiet when he’s upset and frustrated and I am a type-A fix everything type and its just an emoitonal time…
Post # 5
This may be one of those things that you will just have to let time pass and you two fall into a pattern and get used to the change emotional. It may help to let him have some quiet alone time at your place in the first few weeks while you do errands or go out with friends.
Post # 6
OHHH yes, move in stress. Darlin, you’ve only got a few months and you’ll learn to work it out. The manfriend and I are saving for a house and living with my family in the meantime. That’s 2 people and a very large lizard tank in a 10×10 bedroom.
What helps everything is to make storage anywhere. Our tiny 4′ wide 2′ deep closet seemed like it would fit anything until we got shelving from Ikea. Now it’s still a tight fit, and it get messy really fast- but it also feels like ours and I absolutely love it quite actually.
Chill out, you love him- he loves you. But things take getting used to.
Post # 7
Go through your stuff (both of you) and clean it out, give things away, recycle, or throw away things. Always good to do occassionally to declutter.
From the perspective of one who moved into the place of the SO, you need to be more accommodating to make him feel like it’s his place as you’ve already decorated and arranged it to your taste. If that means you need to chill on the OCD bits or give over more space than you think is 50/50, so be it.
Try to find unique hiding spots for things to make more space – pack away seasonal clothes under the bed or above dressers, etc.