Moving in together – catalyst for wanting engagement?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Was moving in together a catalyst for wanting to get married and becoming a waiting bee?
    YES - definitely : (18 votes)
    21 %
    Sort of. I'd already been thinking about it, but moving in was the final push. : (18 votes)
    21 %
    No - I wanted it before moving in together : (28 votes)
    33 %
    No - we are waiting until engagement/marriage before moving in together : (22 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3237 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    No, we wanted to live together for the sake of living together. Less expensive, be with both of our dogs, he needed to move to my city.

    I didn’t pressure him for engagement because I knew it would happen soon enough.

    Post # 4
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I can’t identify with the waiting phenomenon whatsoever, but we decided before moving in that we wanted to get married and had already started ring shopping.  He wanted to live together before proposing, I wanted to be engaged before living together.  We compromised and said that within 6 months of living together we would be engaged and if we weren’t I’d be moving out.

    Post # 5
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I haven’t voted in the pole as none of the options really apply to me.

    We were already engaged for 6 months before we moved in together, not for any moral reason but just because I was still living in London and wanted to stay there will the end of the contract.  I had to move out of London to move in together, but we’re planning on moving back sometime after we’re married depending on jobs, I love that city.

     

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    We are engaged, not living together yet, but that is due to finances, we are going to move in together before we get married, but I am glad we were engaged first. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    3813 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    Definitely yes… we were semi-long distance for about 4 years before we finally moved in together, and that whole time things were like “well, one day we’ll be able to get engaged…”.  When I changed jobs and we were able to move in together, it really spurred the waiting period because I felt like it was the next step in our relationship, in fact I think I brought it up about 6 months after we’d moved in together.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    No. We had a plan to get engaged before we moved in together. We were engaged 5 months later. At this point in my life I would not move in with a guy I wasn’t planning to marry with a plan in place to get married. 

    When I was younger, this wasn’t as big of a deal. But if marriage is on your mind and that’s what you want, I think it makes the most sense to have a plan before moving in together.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We moved in together to make sure we were compatible in that sense. It’s really been a good learning tool about ourselves and each other.
    My fiance especially wanted to make sure we could stand living together before he made any major moves.
    We were engaged after 7 months of living togther, but we’d been together for 5 years. There was no major pressure for us to get engaged, but we had discussed it on and off for almost a year.

    I don’t think moving in together was the “final push”, I think it was a necessary step for us in the path of moving forward together.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1872 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m another who none of the options really appealed to… we weren’t planning on waiting until we were engaged/married to move in together, but we got engaged after a little more than half a year together and then I moved in about two months later.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I answered no because we had already decided to get engaged before moving in together. I didn’t need a ring before doing it, but I wanted to know we were on the same page. I have seen too many friends get burned to do it the other way. We moved in together in March, and we are announcing our engagement this coming Christmas.

    Post # 12
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    No. I was 19 and we moved in together because we wanted to live together, not because I wanted to get married ASAP. We figured we would get married eventually, but getting married before we could even drink at our own wedding seemed insane. I also wanted to wait until both of us were finished with school and more established in our careers.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    No, we will not live together until marriage if we don’t move for jobs. If one of us moved for a good job, the other would follow, but even then, we agree that we’d be engaged before

    Post # 14
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We’re engaged and not yet living together.  However, we both own houses and we’re in the process of working toward selling one.  I never would have sold my home (or moved into someone else’s home) without at least being engaged, though.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    We had talked about getting married in the future before moving in, but he wanted to live together first. Also, we were only 22 when we moved in together, so not quite ready for marriage yet (financially speaking at least…I was totally ready!). So I’ve been waiting (mostly) patiently for the 2.5 years we’ve been living together and engagement is just around the corner!

    Post # 16
    Member
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee

    DH and I had an ongoing debate. I did not want to move in with someone that I was not engaged to (honestly would have preferred to wait until marriage) and he refused to be engaged and living with his parents. Since he is a stubborn ass, we purchased a house, but he knew that there not a snoball’s chance in El Paso that I was moving in without a ring. He proposed on a Sunday, we took posession of the house on Wednesday.

    It was to the point where I thought that he was going to propose on the doorstep. He had it all planned out.

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