- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
It sort of just finally sank in that FI is moving in with me this weekend. Gaa! This feels much more momentous and scary than getting engaged did. Getting engaged felt like “Yay! Shiny Jewelry! Let’s plan a big party!” But moving in together feels a lot more like “Omg I’m never going to have personal space or the freedom to do whatever I want for the whole entire rest of my life.”
I lived with two previous boyfriends in relationships that did not progress to getting engaged. That felt much more natural. Like I would be super excited that we were moving in together, we would work the kinks out and get into a good routine, and then I would start to feel like “aw yeah, I could do this for the rest of my life!” And then of course they both blindsided me with breakups instead.
This time we have the committment first, which is what I wanted. But that creates So Much Pressure to make it work and I feel like it’s going to be such a huge, sudden change. Like right now we really don’t fight much at all. We just have disagreements, talk about it, and it’s no big deal. I’m kind of afraid that now that we’re going to be all up in each other’s business constantly all the little things will start to annoy us, plus all the stress of wedding planning, and that it will create a situation where one or both of us starts thinking omg, what was I thinking, I can’t stand this person, why on earth are we getting married.
I think my prior experience of living together ending in breaking up does not help me psychologically. However, I do think that it also gives me good experience knowing what things I am happy to compromise on (cleanliness! haha, points for honesty!!) and what things will drive me absolutely over the edge (noise when I’m trying to sleep, people coming over when I don’t expect them.)
He’s also moving from his apartment into a house that I own, so it will be hard to stop thinking of it as mine and move towards thinking of it as ours. I’m especially worried that he will break lots of things because he’s big and kind of clumsy and he is used to living in apartments where you don’t care about the wear and tear you inflict. I poured several years of effort and thousands of dollars into getting everything to look nice here and i’m just worried he’s going to be constantly putting spoons down the disposal and snapping off a faucet handles and it’ll be $500 to fix every time and WE have to pay for that not some landlord.
So anyway, we’ll work it all out eventually, but I’m just worried. And the worry overtook me so suddenly, I was just like doo da doo, microwaving my lunch and then I was like OH CRAP this thing is happening TONIGHT! OMG!! PANIC!!
Is anyone else moving in with their SO this weekend? Anyone else feeling nervous? Or does anyone have any helpful experience to share?