moving in together this weekend! kind of freaking out

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@TrousseauHorse:  You guys will be fine – remember to be patient and make sure that you don’t make him feel like he is intruding in on your space.  Last year my then boyfriend moved into the condo that I owned from his apartment.  I was worried about all the same things – holy crap when can i vent to my friends on the phone if he is there and sound travels.  But honestly – it ended up working out great.  I made a point of telling him – this is your place too because he would always ask my permission on things since it was technically my place.  But the cleanliness thing – yeah I will admit there were a few fights about it – but overall he is great and since he is more of a homebody than I am – he tends to do all the laundry when he is home watching baseball at night and I got to the gym or out with my friends.


Post # 4
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@TrousseauHorse:  Well since you’ve had co-hab. rela’s before at least you wont be terribly blindsided. When I first moved in with SO after the first few months of “we live together” bliss wore off I started getting really irritated by living with another person in general (I have always lived alone). Once I realized that men will be men and we worked through the kinks everything was fine. 

Instead of going into it with the attitute of “we engaged so we are stuck” think of it this way. “were engaged so  at the end of the day, we have each other’s backs). Because you’re engaged you will have to learn to let little things slide. You can’t continue to view the house as “yours” and WHEN he effs up and breaks or damages something (because you KNOW he will) just think that its just stuff… that probably wont be around years from now, but he will. Your relationship is the most important thing. Don’t think of it as pressue; think of it as an adventure with your lifemate!

Post # 5
2381 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

3 words –  pick your battles!

decide what’s important to bitch/nag about….. And what’s not.  you botor probably have different ways of doing things and different habits.

Post # 6
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

im nervous too, we dont move in this weekend, but in a couple weeks. hes at my house 4 days a week anyway but i enjoy those 3 nights where im alone. even though i miss him. its just quiet and i can do what i want to do. lol good luck!

Post # 7
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Aw 🙂 It’s so exciting to move in with your FI!

We moved in about 3 months ago, and it’s been great! Other than a few silly arguments which we dealt with right then and there, we’ve been very friendly with each other! To tell you the truth we would fight and argue a LOT more when we were apart, it’s hard to explain why. But I guess, when you’re together always, things change, and the things that you complained about before, don’t really matter now… My biggest suggestion is, if something DOES make you pout, or upset, discuss it right then, don’t hold it off till later. And my rule is, never, ever, ever go to bed mad at one another. EVER!

Post # 8
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Not this weekend, but FI and I are fixing up a house that my Mom owns (it got trashed and we had to completely redo EVERYTHING. It’s taken about a year because we can’t afford to hire professionals. We’ve had family help and that’s it). I am nervous but excited to move in with him – I’ve never lived with anybody other than my parents in a good size home. The house we’re moving into is quite small (with VERY low ceilings). I’m most nervous about feeling cramped, but it’ll also be an adjustment to live with someone else! Good luck, it’ll be fun!

Post # 10
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@TrousseauHorse:  Hmm. Painting? Maybe redecorating a little bit? That may make your FI feel more like a homeowner 🙂

Post # 11
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think you’re over-thinking this, but then I do that too lol.

Does he really break a lot of stuff in his place? If he legitimately does, then I would bring it up with him… just let him know your fears. Like “honey, I know this might sound a bit odd, but you know how you broke X and Y? Well I spent a lot of $$$ and time making my place perfect, and I am a bit worried you’ll break something here too”… or whatever words make sense to you.

Choose your battles.

You have a house.. so you will get some personal space. My SO and I live in a one bedroom apartment now and make it work.

There will be some growing pains. This is why traditionally the first year of marriage is the hardest (the first year of co-habitating). Don’t expect it to be magic all the time. Do your own separate activities. And let him make somethings his own. I know it’s hard to give up control, but you’re right – it’ll be the house that BOTH of you share.

It’ll just take some time… but I think if you keep your expectations fairly realistic and you stick it out and respect each other, it’ll be fine. All couples go through this at some point. Remember, you’re marrying him for a reason!

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