moving in with him 6 days before the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can’t comment on the religious aspect of this, but it seems really important to you! A 20 minute drive is not exactly that inconvenient, isn’t it worth it if it’s going to give you peace of mind? Or however much rent to have to pay for 6 days… it sounds like it would be worth it to you to just pay it!

Post # 4
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you would feel MUCH better (no guilt) if you just stayed at your parents for these few days…20 minutes, x 4 days in my opinion, (or just over 1 1/2 hours) is not a long amount of time to trade off for the guilt you would feel sleeping under the same roof as your FI….

Post # 6
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Stay with your parents. Move your stuff to the new place, but don’t stay there until the wedding. 20 min drive time is nothing compared to how I’m sure you’d feel if you waited to move in. 

Post # 7
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@snoozebox1220:  Yeah, tough situation. My advice is simply that it’s probably worth it for your peace of mind to do what you need to do to NOT move in together yet. Unless you’ve already made up your mind and are just looking for people to agree with you/validate you, which ios fine too 🙂 It’s just that your post makes me think you would be really uneasy about moving in too soon. 

Post # 8
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@snoozebox1220:  perhaps you can move your stuff into your future husband’s place when your lease is up, but stay with a friend (your maid of honor, perhaps?) until you are officially married. If you can’t stay with her for that long, rotate with your other bridesmaids and do the sleepover thing for a few days. You can do it!

Post # 9
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@snoozebox1220:  I agree with PP.  It’s important to you, so you should find a way for your peace of mind.  I’m a Christian and I live with my fiance and have for 17 months, but that was important for me to do.  You have to make the decision as a couple that you both can live with.  If I were in your shoes, I’d rather suffer 4 or 5 days of inconvenience than be upset or disappointed for moving in too early.

If your parents can’t take you in, I’m sure that you have a friend or relative that could.  If you can’t find one, ask your fiance if he can stay with friends or family while you stay at the new place.

Five days isn’t that long to be a house guest of family, especially considering your wedding being so soon.

Post # 10
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@snoozebox1220:  Honestly, a few days of living 20 minutes away out of a suitcase doesn’t sound all THAT hectic. 

I have friends who spent their engagement living in seperate States.  I know two couples who, after their honeymoon, lived out of a suitcase with their parents’ until they could finalize their living arrangements for their first three months together.  My husband and I live 3 hours apart when we were dating and through the majority of our engagement.  We picked out our first apartment.  I moved into it about 4 months before we got married.  He lived with his parents’ till we got married.

 

Post # 12
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@snoozebox1220:  No one will care, and if they do, kindly remind them to remove the plank from their own eye before worrying about the splinter in yours. It is no ones business but YOURS and HIS.

Post # 13
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@snoozebox1220:  move all your stuff to your FI’s place as if you are living there.

then pack on overnight bag and stay at your parents’ house for 4 days.

if there is no room at your parents’, then in my book sleeping in separate rooms should be fine for you.  yes, you are cohabitating, but you are getting married in 4 days.  it’s not like you are living together and sleeping together for weeks or months.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@snoozebox1220:  Honestly, those days before the wedding, you will be so busy and too tired to think of doing anything unholy. Go ahead and move in, but keep your covenant to keep your relationship pure. Stay in separate rooms and stay away from anything that may lead into temptation. If it’s possible, go have him stay with his parents (which is what we did). 

I moved 4 weeks before the wedding, although I had to move across the country and needed enough time to finish marriage counseling. My now husband moved to his parent’s house and I stayed in our house. No sex. 

Post # 15
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@badabing88:  THIS.

Do not worry about what other people will think. YOU are living your life, not them. Make your decisions based on how it will make YOU feel.

Post # 16
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@snoozebox1220:  Just move in after the wedding and save your energy instead of fretting with the second guessing. You’ve made it this long to honor your faith so keep it up and you’ll be pleased with yourself in the end!

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