Moving in with my Fiancé!! Any advice??

posted 2 years ago in Home
Post # 2
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

MrsBuesleBee:  Congrats! I waited to move in with my FI till we were engaged and planning as well. We decided it was best to stop paying for my rent and save that money for a rainy day instead so…. I got to move into our beautiful house 9 months early!

To be honest, we didn’t have a transition period… things just moved along very nicely! Just take things very easy, give each other space, if you have a little bump, just remember it is perfectly normal and you will be just fine… 

 

Post # 3
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MrsBuesleBee: Congrats! My FI and I have lived together before for awhile now and I love it! My advice would be to make sure you keep regularly scheduled date nights; we let them fall to the wayside at first because we were now “always together” but it’s still important to go out and have a nice evening!

Post # 4
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

How fun!  I’ve been living with my FI for awhile now, and while it was definitely an adjustment, it was easier than living with some of my college roommates.  I agree with PP, try to go on real dates every other month (or more!).  It also helped for us to decide who does what chore wise, so that less arguments arise.  If something isn’t clean, we know who it falls on. And even when we lived in a small one bedroom, we had our own space to go to when we needed alone time, or needed to walk away from arguments.

 Good luck!  It’ll be great 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband had his own place and I stayed there at least 3-4 times a week before I moved in, so I thought the same thing as you: “I already know what it’s like to live with him!” WRONG. At least for me, it was way different when it was “his” place versus “ours”. And both of us had to adjust. When I used to stay there I would make dinner everynight because I felt bad about staying for free…but when it was my place I assumed we’d split the cooking (he did not, and assumed I would do the cooking because I “love it”). And both of us had very different ideas of what “clean” was (and I cared a whole lot more about how clean things were when I had to live there!).

No matter how compatible you are, and how great your relationship is, you will have disagreements, and fight for the first while. That is totally normal, so the best I can say is be ready for that, and know that it will just take some adjustment and compromise on both your sides. Communicate, communicate, communicate. And don’t be afraid to take time away, even just a walk aroudn the block. I think if you’re prepared for that you’ll be a step ahead of the game.

Good luck 🙂

Post # 6
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

congratulations! 🙂 I’d just reiterate that it’s perfectly normal for it not to be all puppies and rainbows for the beginning period. But that’ll wear off and it’ll be amazing! 

we used to fight so much! But I couldn’t imagine how I ever lived without him now 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3930 posts
Honey bee

No real advice, from living with my ex I would say that compromise will be key. lol. Other than that I just wanted to say YIPPEEEEEEEE HOW EXCITING! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

The best thing I would suggest is to not go crazy with the decorating. You’ve got the new bed, now stop. It’s not YOUR home. It’s both of yours. You need to adjust to the change in space, as does he. Taking over the house is a really good way to start fights and resentment. Live in the space for a month or two, and if there’s something you hate, talk about it. 

The other thing is communication about division of labor. Talk about it, figure out who is better at what chores and get that sorted. And understand that may shift and change as needed. For example, if I’m working late a lot, he picks up my slack around the house. And if he’s traveling a lot for work, I do his housework. 

Post # 13
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

MariContrary:  Agree with your second paragraph completely. 

Communicate what is expected of each of you. Just cause you’re there doesn’t mean you do all the cleaning AND laundry AND cooking (for example). If you communicate it early, there’s less to get frustrated and fight about later.

Post # 14
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

MrsBuesleBee:  Trust me, I feel your pain here! When my fiance and I moved in together, he had a hideous bachelor pad. I totally thought he was on board with the changes, until he looked around and went “but where’s MY space?”. And I realized I had totally taken over. So we talked about it, and we figured it out. Sometimes, you’ve just got to let something ugly slide. 

Post # 15
Member
4909 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

You get to go home to your best friend each night!  That’s the best part.

Respect his boundaries & you should be fine.

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