Post # 1
After my wedding, I am moving. The problem is, I don’t know where yet. It might be NYC, or somewhere else in the Northeast, or it might even be abroad! It depends on where the jobs are.
So I don’t want big gifts that will cost more to ship than to just buy new in another country; I don’t want a honeyfund; I don’t want to ask for gift cards or cash, because I think people might find that tacky.
Some people have asked where I’m registered, and I just say that I’m not registered. Should I say why? It’s a little tiring to explain it to everyone who asks.
Although I don’t want to ask for gifts, I’m kind of hoping that’s what people will give (not being greedy, just being honest).
What do you think? Would you have a registry if you were unsure of your living situation? Do you think people will bring cash, or their own chosen gifts, or no gifts at all? Have you experienced something similar?
Post # 3
@everyheart: Just say you haven’t registered because you are likely moving soon and leave it at that. Never ever ask for cash.
Post # 4
@classyashley: I know, believe me, I would never ask for cash. That would be mortifying.
Post # 5
@everyheart: My SIL is in the same boat, except she’s moving to another country after the wedding! I’m sure they’ll explain the circumstances to those who ask why there’s no registery, and for her shower I am doing a date night theme! Encouraging guests to bring gift cards, movie tickets, that sort of thing, so they can enjoy the local scene before they move.
Post # 6
I would still register somewhere, so I could turn the gifts if I did get anything.
Post # 7
@littlemisst08: That’s really smart! I’m sure your SIL will appreciate it. I wish I was having a shower 🙁 Oh, well.
I’m just hoping no one shows up at the wedding with huge gifts, like a Dutch oven or vacuum cleaner, lol.
Post # 8
@kerensa: Haha, well, that’s pretty clever! I don’t think I could bring myself to do it, though.
Post # 9
We had friends who were moving out of state the day after their wedding. They sent along little mason jars for people to put in money, gift cards, or checks, explaining that they weren’t registered and why. It was quite adorable and everyone loved it.
Post # 10
why don’t you use http://www.depositagift.com? it’s perfect for what you are asking about. a nice compromise since most guests (at least our friends/fam anyways) seem to prefer a registry for guidance, but this way you get money. the nice thing is that you have some space to share the truth about what is going on in your life and then let them know what you want the money for. i found it to be really helpful from an etiquette perspective too since this kind of thing can be touchy. they even offer wording options. and i looked at a lot of other people’s sites in the testimonials area. awesome customer service — never been treated so nicely, especially in the wedding world!
Post # 11
“why don’t you use http://www.depositagift.com?”
Please do not do this. This is the same as asking for cash, which you already no is a no-no. People do not need to be directed to give you cash — people already know that cash is a preferred and acceptable gift.
What you are doing now — not registering at all, and simply telling people that you aren’t registered because you are moving — is perfect and completely in compliance with etiquette.
Post # 12
I feel your pain!! I was moving two months before our wedding. We both had a house, so we had a ton of stuff. We were paying for our whole wedding ourselves also. I registered no where. People asked where we were registered and I flat out told them the above…. what we do need is to paint the house etc. So I got alot of GC to HD/Lowe’s and cash. I also told my MIL and my Dad what we needed was money or GC’s just no … more “stuff”. They all put out the word and we got a rice cooker, and a set of roly poly shot glasses, and the rest was money or GC.
I’m not a fan of putting it out there on a website, or on invites …. but I think word of mouth is good.
Post # 13
A friend didn’t register – and got tons of gifts she didn’t want and couldn’t return. You need to know your area and friends to know how this will work. Will people understand if you say, “Because of the upcoming move, we haven’t registered anywhere”? Or are physical gifts the norm in your area and people are GOING to pick something out one way or the other? In my (limited) experience, it seems like giving cash is more of a northern thing, giving gifts is more of a southern thing.
Also, consider if anyone is going to insist on throwing you a shower. If so, you’ll need a registry for that.
I personally think it’s a mistake not to register DEPENDING ON YOUR CROWD. If you’re in the Northeast where most people are going to give cash anyway, no biggie. But if you even think some people are really going to want to give gifts, I would strongly advise a small registry at somewhere with a generous return policy that you’ll be able to use gift cards to in the future (Target, can use the money on groceries, that sort of thing – although I heard their returns aren’t great).
We have a split crowd, have northerners, half southerners, and I have been SHOCKED at how many people have wanted to give physical gifts. I am so so so so glad I registered – I really considered not registering. We are also moving in a year to an unknown location and have had established homes for nearly 10 years on our own. But yeah, registering was a VERY good thing for my crowd.
Post # 14
What about making a Wishing Well. I had a few of my friends do this… they listed things like a fancy camera, rug, pots and pans, etc – but they also listed things like dream living room for $5000. People can give money towards something tangible.
Post # 15
@everyheart: Although I don’t want to ask for gifts, I’m kind of hoping that’s what people will give.
I just realized, I meant to write, I‘m hoping people will bring cash (even though I’m not asking for it). It seems that you all understood, anyway. 🙂
Thanks for the responses – it helps a lot.