(Closed) Moving On

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3252 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Awww. I’m sorry you’re going thru this. It does seem to me like once you get engaged and start to plan a wedding that those of your friends who are nowhere near that same point in their lives start to migrate away from you.

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Sorry you’re feeling like this.
Yeah, sometimes when you’re not at the same stage in your life, friendships can drift.
But, right now you have so much to look forward to, and your friends seem like the ones who need support. Be there for them; they’ll appreciate it and I’m sure they’ll be excited about what’s happening for you, too!
I don’t have many friends in my life, and those I have are all at different stages and live different lives. But the beauty is that we always have good times together and have each other’s backs.

Post # 5
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree that it’s hard to be at a different place in your life than your friends…I’m the first one in my group of friends to get engaged, and I definitely feel like there’s a bit of distance that’s developed, even though nothing has changed from when we were dating to when we got engaged–we’re the same couple. One possibility might be that my mind is for sure more focused on wedding stuff and the things that come after–aka, kids lol. So I really have to try not to get too caught up in those things and try to relate to my friends on different levels. I think there’s also the sense that once you’re engaged, your relationship problems are over–as if engaged couples don’t fight or disagree!

Post # 6
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I agree—unfortunately, I think marriage is likely to change friendships because the majority of your time is spent with your husband (as it should be) instead of socializing with friends. When I think about married couples I know, it’s true that I don’t see them separately as much anymore.

But just because the friendships change doesn’t mean they go away. I think we will all just have to learn how to adapt and adjust and make a new kind of friendship work.

I agree, though, that I am worried about how, for example, my friendship with my best friend will change. She and I are so used to being able to have girls night, and I know that will be a little different once I’m married.

I’m interested to hear others’ thoughts as well.

Post # 7
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know what you feel.  I was the the first to get engaged and one of the first to get engaged.  It really depends on what you have with the friends but I had a couple single friends when I was engaged and it wasn’t really too strange.  I used them for the fun girls nights out dancing.  I think as long as you have a life seperate from your marriage, you will still have things to talk about with your single friends.

Post # 9
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i do feel the same way… one of my bm’s is married (almost 3 years!)… 1 bm is in a totally legit bf/gf relationship… but the other 3 are in cloudy/gray mixed up relationships/remnants of an old relationship… and all of my gf’s that will be attending the wedding are single and not looking to get married.

it’s really sad not to have that in common.. esp with my moh/best… but i think as long as both of you acknowledge the difference and not let it get in the way and still make the effort to getogether for girls nights, etc… you will not lose your friends!! 😀

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