Post # 1
I’m having a bit of a mental war with myself, even though logically I think I know what the best answer for me and Fiance is.
Backstory – we’re both currently students who have been lucky enough to have parents who agreed to let us stay with them rent free until the moment we get our first full time job after finishing study. We are 20 and 22. Fiance will be finished at the end of this year though I still have a minimum of 3 and a maximum of 5 years to go.
We’ve recently been lucky enough to receive student payments through the Australian government (ammounting to about 400/week between us).
Theoretically this would be enough for us to rent a small place with. We know other students who have done it, if you play your cards right and get a $200 per week place. Fiance and I have been itching to have our own place for quite a while, as we’re both quite independent and, with the addition of some recent events pulling me more, we just want to be out on our own and officially make our own lives.
However, no matter how much I keep being pulled towards getting out as soon as possible I keep coming back to our original ‘logical’ plan. In our current situation, we’re able to save about 1/2 of our income towards upgrading my rather dodgy car, our wedding and a house deposit. If we were to stick it out here for another year, Fiance will have just started working full time as a nurse and we’d be able to afford the downpayment on a very small home, have the stable income to secure a loan and pay off a mortgage, potentially have upgraded my car if it dies before then and then be able to work on finalising our wedding savings before our 2016 wedding.
Doesn’t seem like much of a choice though? Emotionally it is though! Especially when we feel like so many people already look down on us for being a young engaged couple, for being engaged and living at home etc. I, myself, was raised to be very independent and don’t do so well being dependent on someone else. Although I have been with Fiance for years, I still don’t feel like it is ‘my’ house when we are here and I hate the eternal moving between houses that we do (so as not to burden one set of parents we split our time equally between them). I hate needing things that are 20 minutes away in my other home, I don’t like not being able to grocery shop for ourselves (particularly at FIs as his sister would eat anything we bought for ourselves regardless of our requests) or to just feel like an adult.
How do you bee’s who still live at home, or did in the past, deal with the competing emotional need to have your own space with your Fiance and logical needs to be well set up for your life?
Post # 3
I completely understand the need to want to move out! Fiance and I decided to buy a house last summer so we could move out of our parents houses when we were 20 and 21. Now we kinda wish we would have stayed until we graduated (few months later) and started our jobs so we could have had a much bigger, nicer, newer house. It’s been awesome having our own place, but we both agreed the wiser thing financially would have been to wait a couple months. There are always things that come up to and need money. I would save so you guys can buy a house when you’re done instead of renting. I know it’s hard but it won’t be for too long and you’ll be in a more comfortable position in the end. Easier said than done, I know!
Post # 4
@MrsN14: thanks I really value your opinion. Do you actually regret moving out when you did or do you just think it would have been better financially?
Post # 5
@MissMonie: I don’t necessarily regret it because it has been nice having our own place and my Fiance ended up getting a really good job about 6 months after we bought it so that was nice. I think I just compare our house and lifestyle to our friends who are older and didn’t go to college so they’ve just been working for awhile and have more money now so better houses, etc. We just decided to stay in our starter house longer so we can save more for next time. Does the place you’re renting furnished and include utilities? Those are things that really added up for us. Also do you have savings in case your car just breaks down all of the sudden? I made this huge budget spreadsheet before we bought a house to make sure we could cover all necessities and then have emergency money. Our parents would help us in a heartbeat though if we had any problems so that helps too. Good luck!
Post # 6
stay home as long as you can! You have 60+ years to live on your own and deal with juggling finances, etc. It sounds really great to grow up and have all your own responsibility…but good lord there are a lot of responsibilities…and you are still SO young!
I stayed at home until about 25…my parents were amazing though. I love them very much, they never asked any questions and totally gave me my space.
Post # 7
There aint nothing wrong living with parents to save money. The people who have a problem with this or would bash you for this, are just jealous that their parents never gave them the offer! 🙂
Post # 8
Fiance and I moved in together, but now, as we’re paying for this wedding ourselves but want to buy a house soon, we’ve moved in to the second floor of his mom’s house to help save money faster.
Not that we couldn’t keep up with the apartment rent, but we’d be looking at waiting 3x as long to buy a home. So we remodelled the upstairs and instead of rent, we’ll be paying her utilities. It’s honestly not the ideal situation, but we do what we have to do (let me tell you, living in a house with someone else’s mom is AWKWARD)
Oh, and upstairs is basically an apartment, just without cooking applicances. We have our own fridge, and that’s totally something you can do – get a smaller mini or apartment-sized fridge (or one for each place) and don’t be afraid to stock it up with things you’d like to eat.
Stick it out, make it work – the savings is more than worth it in the long run.
Post # 9
@MissMonie: I can entirely see why you want to move out and have your own space, but I given my time around again I would have stayed and saved. So that’s what I voted for. I don’t REGRET moving out, but it would have much much easier to save money
Post # 10
@MissMonie: I haven’t lived with my parents full time (only for a couple summers) since I was 18 – and it is a very significant financial burden. I live alone in an apartment 3 hours from my parents and 2 hours from my Fiance, and although I have a good-paying job, I always fantasize about what I could do with that extra money if I didn’t have to pay rent. My Fiance lives with his parents and lived with them through university (it was just down the road) and he has had a significantly easier time with money than me. Neither of our loans were massive but his was much smaller than mine and he paid it off in a couple months because he could put so much income toward it, while I have to pay mine in much smaller increments. He also was able to buy the ring he wanted to give me because he was able to save. Certain things bother me, like how his parents are around alllllll the time, but it’s only every few weekends that I’m there anyway. We will hopefully be moving in together this year too so it’s not like it’s forever. Lastly I want to mention that I was guilty of trying to make him move out on his own before I graduated (he finished school a year ahead of me) – until I moved into the real world and bought a car. Then I was like, I’m glad you didn’t listen to me.
You’re so young! Don’t worry about what others think. Saving money is honestly so important and you won’t regret it… it will make your future so much easier.
Post # 11
You don’t want your first place to take up 50% of your income in rent alone, trust me. Stay at home until you’re married and/or have stable jobs and incomes that aren’t government provided.
Post # 12
Thanks for everyone’s opinions 🙂