Post # 1
Dexpending on our career status this time next year, my fiancé and I are considering moving to a neighboring state after our June wedding. We feel we need the space from our families due to their poor reception of our marriage. They really showed their true colors in the year we have been engaged, and it isn’t too pretty.
So I am curious to hear your stories. Did you move out of statewant from family? How was it? How did you find a house from out of state? How did you apply to jobs out of state? How does your move affect your children? How did you feel about starting over?
Post # 3
We moved to another state for work/school. We researched and found a decent apartment near work/school. Look for local magazines and newspapers, many large cities will have ratings for their suburbs or neighborhoods so you can choose one that fits your needs.
I would probably try renting for a while just to get a feel for the town and area, then you can make a more concrete home purchase.
Also it does make the holidays more complicated. Consider if you will travel back to see friends or family at the holidays, and which holidays you are going to spend where.
It does get lonely, I get homesick even though sometimes I really need the space from my family too. Much less drama, but also less help. If we have kids they wil see their cousins maybe 2 or 3 times/year and have almost no relationshop with grandparents which is sad.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t move out of state to get away from family–even small distances are pretty good at helping you ignore them.
Out of state moves can be expensive and there can be a lot of uncertainty regarding jobs. If you are young and working in retail, or you have high demand skills it will be easier. But it can be hard to know if there are any jobs where you are moving. And tou won’t know people so you won’t hear of jobs through your network.
But if you want to do it, do it! I do think it makes the most sense if you are relatively young and you don’t have a lot of stuff, ties and obligations you would be uprooting.
Post # 5
It would be easier for me to go to school and work out of state, so though family is a factor, it is not the only factor. We also want to live near a larger city and be able to experience more things.
Post # 6
Moving after you get married is a big step in your relationship and I personally think it helps you bond better. My ex-H and I lived within 5 miles of our families for years and it caused many many problems….our families weren’t willing to let us go and be alone. Which was a huge factor in our divorce.
However, DH and I met after he moved away from his family/hometown. They were always trying to convince to come back but now that we are married and living overseas, they understand it’s OUR life now and they are ok with it.
Plus we moved to another country shortly before getting married and the move itself bonded us and made us realize how WELL we work together. And the money/benefits/travel opportunities are better for us here than in either of our hometowns so we’ll probably never move back.
Post # 7
I’ve moved all over the place!
I’m from Indiana, moved to Georgia for school, moved to California for my first job, was transfered to Texas for that same job, and then took a new job that moved us back to Georgia! All in the course of 7 years (4 of which were college)!
If you don’t really know the area/city you are moving to, I’d suggest renting for a bit (6-12 months probably) to really learn the area so you best know where you want to purchase long term. Finding apartments via online is easy – then just narrow it down to your top few, take one trip to visit them all, and sign a lease.
Finding a job can be easily done online too. Yes – you may need to travel in for a final in-person interview but most places seem to be fine starting with phone interviews and only require you to come out once they’re nearing the end of the process (at least that’s been my experience).
DH and I don’t have kids yet so I can’t speak to that nor can I speak to trying to get away from family. We moved back to Georgia with my newest job so that we can try to be closer to family! (DH is from the area an my parents are going to retire to south GA).
Post # 8
We moved out of state for work/college back before even being engaged.
We’re from NC, and FI (then BF) had an opportunity to take a job in FL, which would allow him to transfer to a college that he was planning on attending anyway. It really all sort of fell into his lap and came together. I decided to move with him and transfer schools. Being from a small town where everyone knows your business, moving away was difficult/great for us. There were times it was really hard, but more than anything it was great for our relationship.
A couple months before the move we took a planning trip to the area we were moving to. We drove around and looked at different areas, and checked out apartments. Found one we liked, and signed a lease. As for finding a job, we moved with FI (then BF) already having a job. I worried about finding a job after we moved.
Post # 9
We moved out of state ~8 months before the wedding, for DH’s job. He’s a little older than I am and so further along in his career, so it made sense to move to another state when he got this job. Of course, we didn’t realize at the time that *I* would be unable to find work in my field.
I’m very close with my parents, and they love DH. Sadly, the same can’t be said for his family — they don’t treat him well IMO, and they are frosty at best to me. It was great to have a good reason not to be around his folks, but I do miss seeing my parents sometimes (they visit frequently, but it’s not the same). Living away from the families has done more good than harm, I think, especially since it reinforces the “grown up, married, adult” image that parents often struggle to accept.
We live in an apt, and it was extremely challenging to find. We visted a number of other places over the course of 2 months, which was really tough to coordinate due to work & timing. We figured we’d have to settle for a place we hate for a year while, but ended up finding our great place in the end. I have to assume that house-hunting with a realtor would be a little easier, but have no experience with that.
Many jobs will work with you if you need to relocate, and some even have in-house Relocation Managers to help you out. If not, the best thing to do is read as much about the new area as you can, visit often, and keep an open mind: it will never be like your previous home, and will still have negative aspects you have to deal with (i.e. grass isn’t greener). Moving is stressful, but decorating is fun! 😀