- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
I am another bee gone anon, I am in need of some help and advice.
Darling Husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for just over 6 months. I love him dearly and I do really believe he truly loves me. Before we met, my SO passed away from a brain aneurism. I was devastated, depressed, a wreck. I was in a very day place andno felt like nothing could pull me out. Aftet a few month One night my friends, in an attempt to get me out of the house,stool me to see one of her friends’ band play… That’s when I met Darling Husband. He made me feel again, feel something other than blackness. He made me smile and take my mind offthings even just for a moment. We slowly started talking more andbegin dating a few months later. Later, we moved in together, had a baby and got married.
Along the way we did have some rough patches. I was emotionally destroget rafter my loss, and so confused about how I was feeling. He never ever pushed me, and listened to me breakdown after breakdown. Now is where the mess really began, I cheated on him with one of his friends. We were All at a party and Darling Husband went to bed but friend and I stayed up. We kissed and it went a bit further however I stopped what I was doing and told Darling Husband what happened. He forgave me and after some time and a lot of talking we started to get back on track again.
Darling Husband is a personal trainer, one of his clients (il call her N) I have always felt uneasy about. When they first startedtraining she told him she had feelings for him, he told her he wasn’t interested and he stopped training her at my request. A few months later she contacts him again and asks to start training again. He says ok, as long as it is professional and nothing more. Fast forward to 4 months ago and Darling Husband comes home From work upset. He said that N’s husband walked into one of his classes saying he knows everything that’s happenEd between Darling Husband and N and he would be telling me. I asked Darling Husband if anything happened between him and N, he said no and we moved on. I kept feeling uneasy. I found N’s number in DHs work phone and txt her.
Her husband called me back and told me that Darling Husband and N had been seeing each other. I asked him if theyd slept together and he said they had come close. I was shaking and upset. I thanked N’s husband for being honest and wished him and his wife the best. I then confronted Darling Husband. at first he said they were only friends, but then admitted to them talking a lot. After me screaming and crying he then caMe out with the whole truth. She had feelings for him and told him so all the time. They would talk when Darling Husband and I had had a fight, she would tell him how to handle thesituation. They were friends and confided in each other with personal things. He felt like I was ‘never there’ so he played up to her having feeling for him. He said they had phone sex via txt MSG one day, and she started it. He said he developed a crush on her but never acted on it other than talking as friends on his behalf, but she always took it further. They never hung out outside of their pt sessions. He ended it a few weeks before N’s husband and I found out.
Has anyone been in a situation like this? How did you get past it and move on. I made the decision when I found out not to leave Darling Husband and our marriage so leaving isn’t an option. I don’t want to be told go to counseling, I just want bees personal experiences and advice.