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I moved to another country for my hubby. I dont know anyone here and I dont particularly like the neighborhood he lives in, but what I do love is that we are finally together. He lives in a very diverse city and in our particular neighborhood Im the minority. Coming from a smaller town, its a great experience for me to live in such a diverse area- but also a big change! Every day is an adventure, but I wouldnt change it for the world because now we're together.
We're moving to my FI's hometown after the wedding. I'm petrified. He'll have all of his family and closest friends. I'll have 1 friend. Its terrifying for me to do it. But our quality of life may be better in a place where the cost of life isn't so tough. In any event, we'll try it out. We're not going to buy a house, we'll rent first. Just in case it doesn't work out, we can still try someplace else. Its sad and scary to me! I won't be close to my closest friends anymore, its going to be so hard!
I moved to be with my FI almost two years ago. It was definitely scary, but the distance was killing us. We kind of made a compromise, we are in his hometown now and our plan is to be here for 5-7 years and then we will move back closer to my family. I have always been close with my family, so it is very hard right now to be away from them. However, my FI's family helps to fill that void and are always here for us. It is definitely a big step, but to be with the love of your life, sacrifices are worth it:)
Hopefully you won't be too far from your family that you can go see them on a somewhat regular basis? Also, it will get easier after the move. You will make friends in your new area and build a life together:) I know it still doesn't replace your old friends, but it helps.
Good luck:)!
I'm moving 3000 miles away to California to be with FI. I know it's going to be difficult to be far from my family and friends, but it's the choice we made as a couple. It's so much harder being separated from him. I know that everything will be alright once we are together.
Its nice to know that I am not the only one out there who feels this way. The problem is that we are not moving to his hometown, we don't know anyone there. We are moving to a smaller city, which we both like a lot and he feels that there would be more job opportunities for him (not so much for me) and an overall better quality of life for us in the long term. I am extremely close with my family, so even thinking about the move makes me upset (2 - 2.5hour plane ride). He is not willing to compromise and move to my hometown because he feels like there is too much competition in his field and it would be more difficult for him to break through. Sighhhhhhh. Why does this have to be so complicated? I am also very stubborn, which makes this waaay more difficult for me.
I moved across the country to be with my husband (then fiance). I was definetly excited, nervous, all emotions in between. After you move there, if you find that you don't like it, the two of you should talk about possibly moving somewhere else. Are you going to be working or going to school? That is a good way to meet new people who will help you transition into this new place. Good luck!
I am also moving to be with FI. He's in a new city but has a job, a place and friends, so it is already home for him. I think what I am most nervous about is feeling like I am moving into his life rather than us starting a life together. We are going to find a new place in a new part of town so that can be "ours", which is really important to me.
I didn't move to be with my FI (I had already moved to Seoul when I met him), but I'm staying in his country for him. I do have my own friends and career which helps the situation a lot, but I didn't know anyone when I moved here. I've moved around a lot and the best advice I can give is to be as social as you can for the first few months in your new home. It's easy to stay in and stick to what you are comfortable doing, but people are usually the most receptive to getting to know you when you are brand new to the area. The more social you are, the more you will be able to quickly find people you connect with and start building relationships. Skype is also your best friend! My sister lives in Hong Kong, my mum near Toronto, and I live in Seoul - we Skype nightly. My sister and I chat basically all night together as we do our own work on our computer. I think we talk more now than we ever have before because of the separation. There are tons of ways to keep connected to your family and friends back home :)
I also think compromise is REALLY important. I'm staying here for another 10-15 years which is a hUGE deal for me (imagining giving birth abroad and raising kids in a culture with minimal day care facilities is challenging for me). But we have an agreement to move to Canada to be closer to my family or to another English speaking country once FI retires. If you are moving for your SO's job prospects, he needs to be open to making compromises in the future for your benefit.
I'm the exact same as bamm. I didn't move here to be with my FH but I met him here and I made the decision to stay here to be with him. Making any sort of decision like this is hard and scary but ultimately in the end I know that I can keep touch with my friends by Facebook and Skype and I'm excited to start my married life here with FH.
I'll be moving to Geneva after the wedding to be with FI. I'm so excited to finally live with him and end the long distance, but I'm also pretty nervous. I'm not sure if I'll be able to find a job there or how easy it will be to make friends and I'm sad to be moving so far away from my family and friends. But I'm more excited than nervous/sad (most days!).
I am about to leave my sister and 2 nieces (I was there when they were born) and a job I really like. He moved to a bigger city (that I dislike) for a j-o-b. He makes 2X what I do and has a 2 year old house. Financially I don't really have a choice. (we have been together 5 years) His family is not there and he doesn't have many friends there.
I am afraid I won't be able to find a job quickly and miss my family so much it will hurt our marriage. I am used to taking care of myself, if I am stuck at home I will go crazy.
The things we do for love.....
I am more excited to move to be with my FI because we have never lived in the same state. He lives near both of our parents (well near meaning like 3-5 hours) instead of the 10 hour distance that I have right now. It will definitely take some adjusting, but I visit him there a lot so I have developed some close friendships and sort of know my way around. I'm hoping that it will be a natural transition, but who knows how I will feel when the time comes (we will be LDR until late this summer).
I struggled with this very thing a LOT. FI and I dated long distance off and on for 5 years (through college and a year thereafter) before I moved to the city he was in to be with him. I was lucky and found a job that I LOVED there...only to find that he had to move just a year later to somewhere new, and I followed him here too.
As a very independent, career-driven girl, it was really tough for me to get to a point where I was okay with these moves. Over the years of our LDR, we even broke up on a couple of occasions because I didn't think I could adjust my plans and goals to follow him around, but ultimately, I loved him too much to lose him over that, and took the plunge. I can't lie - its been really tough - but I have never regretted it. I know he is as committed to the relationship as I am, and if down the road I need him to move for me, I know that he will. Starting over in a new place with him (twice!) was a fun adventure that really brought us together. You're right to be nervous, but if he's worth it, you won't regret it! Its so much easier than being apart!
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, it really makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who goes through this and that its truly worth it in the end!
I am going to be moving to be with my FI after we are married. For me, it's not that big a deal since it's a one state hop from NC to SC. Plus I planned on moving to Charleston, SC when I got a little closer to retirement so that just sped up the plans some. I am from SC and LOVE Charleston so I am not really nervous about that. I am MORE nervous about sharing my space with another adult. It has been me, my daughter, and my dog for 12 years now and it's weird thinking that I am going to have to share space 24/7 with another adult. I am sure he will be worth it though.
I recently did that...I quit my job and moved from a city to a rural area to live with my SO. It was terrifying to do it, and now that I've been here for a little over a month I'm starting to adjust. The first few weeks I had so much trouble sleeping because I was so stressed to be in a new place with no job and no friends. But there are so many really great things about being here, and I LOVE being together. In five years, this is the first time we've been closer than 45 minutes. We were long distance for 2.5 years, so it's a relief to be together. It's wonderful.
That said, there are still things that are tough about the move. I don't work right now (I'm a grad student though) so I'm stressed about money, and I don't know many people and I'm not sure how to meet friends! There are a lot of things I miss about where I'm from. Plus, winters are more severe out here than I'm used to, and I'm in the thick of it. I'm thinking it will be easier to adjust when it's nicer.
@Jewel - It's tough to be in a whole new place...neither myself nor the SO is from the area where I live, and it's challenging to find time to each have our own lives when we're so new here. I like to think of it as a little adventure we're having together, and that he and I can build our lives together in a fresh, new place. Sometimes I believe that :) sometimes I miss home.
I will be moving to be with my FI after I graduate in May. We both grew up and went to college in Atlanta and he moved to Florida at the beginning of January for a job. I am so scared/nervous to be away from my family and friends, but I also can't wait to start our lives together in a new place. As long as I keep myself busy (and find a job!) I don't think it will be too hard. It will definitely be an adjustment and I know I am going to miss everyone at home like crazy, but I can't wait to finally live with my FI. Although we've only been doing the long distance thing for about 2 months now, we are already so sick of it and miss each other like crazy. I can't wait to finally be with him and wake up next to him every morning.
I'm moving from Connecticut to California in about 2 weeks so that FI and I can be together. I can't wait - being apart really stinks. We've been apart for 4 months and only seen each other once during the 4 months. Neither of us know anyone or have family there, so we're really going to have to put effort into finding a network of friends. He has been meeting some people already and checking out the area - so at least he'll be able to show me around a little when I get there. I'm glad for that, but I also think it would have been fun to explore the unknown city and surrounds together.....
I was really nervous at first, but I've come to love it. It helped that I didn't have any super close friends in my hometown that were interested in staying there.
I moved from the Northeast to the Southeast to be near my boyfriend after dating long distance for just over a year. It was and is really hard, but I knew job opportunities where I lived were pretty scarce for both of us. (And frankly, single men my age were, too!) He has a small business that he couldn't leave and I didn't want to wait to be together until he sold it-in this economy that could have taken a really long time.
The first two months I cried about once a week, but after we got engaged it got better. I have a sister who's having a baby, though, and I know I won't be there when he's born, which is tough. He wants to eventually live in North Carolina, but I'm hoping he finds a job further north. I haven't been able to find a steady job since I've been here, so sometimes I feel like I'm going to go crazy. Good thing I have wedding planning to help keep me busy!
I am desperately trying to move to where my guy is. I've been looking for jobs for the past 6 mos. Nothing decent yet. I am very frustrated at this point and kind of feel like the distance is holding me back. My worst fear is to be still living apart when the wedding comes around.
Excited on one hand and frustrated on the other.
In June, I will be moving to another country for my BF. I oscillate between SUPER excited and terrified (will I fit in? Will I make friends? Will I get work?). We've been doing long distance for two years (will be 2.5 in June) and this has been very long and thought out decision, so I feel really good about it. I'm giving up a wonderful job, leaving my friends and family (including the other love of my life - my baby niece), so it will be tough - but I wouldn't do it if I didn't think it was worth it. I am mostly just thrilled to be with my sweety on a regular basis and enjoy all the normal coupley stuff other people take for granted - trying out new restaurants, cuddling in bed on Sunday mornings and going out for brunch...:) I miss him so much but we talk everyday and have built an extremely solid foundation in our relationship.
I was a little hesitant to move before geting engaged, but since we haven't spent more than three weeks together consecutively, it really is so much better to live in the same place before we get engaged. Living together will be an adjustment (I have lived by myself for the past 8 yrs) but I am confident we can handle it. My BF says that he is going to work really hard to make sure I don't regret my decision ;) Here's to things working out and maybe an engagement not too many years in the future so that I can post about wedding planning topics!! (I'll keep lurking til then...)
Best of luck to everyone!! :-)
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I was just curious, those of you who are moving to be with your SO, how do you feel? Are you nervous, scared, sad to leave your hometown or are you more excited than anything? The thought of moving away from my family/friends and the place that I grew up (bigger city ---> smaller city) makes me really sad/nervous/anxious. I always wonder, what if I hate it there? What if I want to go back home? I was wondering if anyone else feels the same way?