- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
I am really sad right now and could use some words of advice from people who have been in a similar situation.
My fiancé and I have known each other for two years now and got engaged just about two months ago. We love each other to pieces and even though we met in unfortunate circumstances we have been inseparable ever since. My fiancé is 33 and I will be turning 30 in a month. Whereas my fiancé is already a professional and has been working for years, I am finishing up a PhD in Social Sciences. However, my life dream has been to become a doctor, ever since I was little, and I have been desperately trying to fulfil this dream during the past few years. I applied over and over in different medical schools and made it on the waiting list each time, but it never worked out to actually get a place. This year I decided to apply in my home country in Europe, and I got a place in one of the best Universities. My fiancé and I both live in Canada, but I would much rather move back to Europe, as all my family is there and I will simply never feel at home in North-America. However, I am committed to my fiancé and would be willing to live with him here if there was no other way.
Now the problem is that the medical degree I am pursuing is 6 years and even though I am willing to do whatever it takes to make the long distance thing work, my fiancé is very scared and is questioning the future of our relationship. He has always been so sweet and caring and it breaks my heart to hear him talk like that.. He is very attached to his mother, and thinks that he simply could not live a continent away from her (he lives on the Canadian East coast now and his mother lives on the West Coast), even if he had four or five months a year where he could spend time with her (He wouldnt need to work if I was working as a doctor, and I would be willing to support us with my salary).
I, on the other hand, can’t seem to be able to pursue my degree in Canada, and it is difficult (but not impossible) for international medical graduates to get into a Canadian residency program. However, it is likely that I would be unemployed and waiting for several years after finishing my M.D., time that I could be spending working as a doctor in Europe. I also eventually want to have children. I guess my question is.. has anyone ever experienced anything similar? My fiancé and I discussed the question before getting engaged, and he said that he would possibly come with me, but it seems that now the reality of me going away soon is settling in, and he panicks. I really don’t know what to do, I love him so much and I know he adores me, too.. I can’t even think about possibly separating.
Any thought, or possibly some words of encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks, and sorry for the long post.. 🙁