(Closed) Moving today and feeling a little tense about it

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

In Sept 2011, I moved from my three bedroom, two bathroom home into a tiny two bedroom, one bathroom apt with my DH when we were engaged. I took a $7 pay cut to move back to a town that I grew up in and vowed not to move back to. It was the scariest thing I ever did, but I didn’t reconsider for a second because I knew that I wouldn’t be in that apt forever AND I knew that there was so many exciting things about to happen in my life.

If there is one thing I know it is anxiety, and this is super hard, especially when you get adjusted to a routine, but you’ll have so many things to do and so much to look forward to that, unless you force yourself, you won’t dwell on the anxitey of change.

Good luck! I’m excited for you!
 

{Edit} I also thought I would get more anxious and upset over having to store 90% of my stuff, but it actually wasn’t that bad. I forgot I had half the stuff I do, lol. When we get a house I know I am going to freak out when I see just how much I have and was able to live without for so long.

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

We bought our first home in a new state about 2 hours away from where I grew up. Granted it’s not a huge cross country move, but it was a big change for me. We had new jobs, didn’t know a single person in the area, and had this big old house that needed tons of work. It was so exciting but scary at the same time.

It’s been about 3 years now and it was the best thing we could have done!

Post # 5
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hang in there!  Your feelings are 100% normal.  I was engaged when I was younger and lived with my then-FI (now XFI) right after college, meaning I never lived by myself AT ALL.  I then moved back home with my parents when XFI and I ended things, which is when I met my current FI, and I lived there while he was deployed.  When he came home, I got my own place and discovered the joys of living by yourself.  Big ugly sweatpants!  Frosting for dinner!  New timelines on when you have to brush your teeth!!!!

When FI and I bought our home last December,  I was thrilled to move forward with him into our new life together.  But I still cried every single day because I was losing my independence (or at least I thought I was).  I even cried every mile of the 40+ mile journey between my old home and my new one.

Turns out, FI is awesome to live with, and I never worry anymore about home invasions, being raped in the middle of the night by a homeless man, or who is going to fix the shoe closet.  Plus, it rocks to have someone help shovel after a blizzard and take the dog out at 2 AM.

 I pinky-promise that you will find a new, and better, routine in your new home with your FI.  It will take a few days, but be patient and remember why you are there in the first place!

Post # 8
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

Unfortunately I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say that I know very well how you’re feeling – in just two days I’m moving (literally) to the other side of the world to be with my SO. I am sort of excited about it but at the same time I find the thought pretty intimidating and stressful.

I just really don’t like changes and at the moment I think I would prefer to stay here but it’s not an option. Plus I have already once lived in his country and loved it so I know it will be fine but the leaving part is the hardest one and therefore I’ve been feeling pretty tense already for days.

The only advice I can give is that you should be proactive – you can’t just move there and try to live your FI’s life – to be happy, you need your own life. And if you’re happy, the easier the change will be.

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@Fantastagirl:  I was worried about that too, but it will happen if you make the effort. I made a few friends from work and have met people in the neighborhood. You and your family can still get together, just meet in the middle so its an hour and a half drive. That is definetly do-able on the weekends 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Aww any moving is super stressful! of course you feel tense. When I finished university, I moved a 5 hour plan ride away to live where my (now) FI wanted to live. He wasn’t done school yet either, so I moved there by myself and waited for him to be done for the next 8 months. It sucked but I wanted to get established with a job and get the volunteer experience I needed to get into grad school and I couldn’t do that by just hanging out in our university town. I was totally stressed and lonely at first, but I am sure that we would not be where we are now if it wasn’t for that choice. You can do this! Once you are there, get to be with your FI full time and get used to living somewhere new it will be for the better! Just be understanding with yourself during the adjustment period.

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