Post # 1
Traditionally, the man proposes, the woman excepts, the couple is married and then they move in.
My FI and I did things a bit differently. We thought the house was a big expense and wanted to secure that before we started wedding planning. That way we could wait until we were financially stable before having to dish out the money for a wedding. We bought a house first and had been living together about 6 months before he proposed. The house hasn’t cost us nearly as much as we’d feared (we bought big – wanted our forever home as the only home) so the proposal came sooner rather than later.
At a Christmas party, someone made the comment “Wow, you guys moved fast.” but I didn’t really understand this? I wouldn’t have moved in with him if I didn’t want to marry him… Maybe marriage seemed like a much bigger step to him than just living together?
I guess I’m paranoid that everyone thinks we’re moving too fast. I shouldn’t care what people think though. But geez, what are they going to think when we have kids within a year of marriage?
Have other people made comments thinking you’ve moved too fast? Now I’m so paranoid!
Post # 3
I wouldn’t worry about other people’s comments. It’s not like you guys are 16. You both seem financially sound and mature enough based on your decisions. People may think you’re moving too fast bc when they were 23-24 they weren’t ready for the steps you’re entering into now.
Post # 4
@Stressed_Bride15: I am impressed with all you’ve happily and mindfully accomplished in what I would consider a short time! 🙂 I think you should be proud of it all. So, perhaps you can just prepare yourself when someone makes such a wide statement of “moved fast” and have something to ask or say in return. “What do you mean?” or “Care to elaborate?” Perhaps they, too, were just expressing their appreciation of your accomplishments, and it just came out awkwardly. Or perhaps they were indeed commenting otherwise, in which case you can smile and know you are secure in your decisions and path.
Post # 5
@Stressed_Bride15: Sorry, a little confused….how long have you two been together? Is she commenting on how fast you two are moving in your relationship in general or just how quickly you bought a home together? Regardless, it’s your relationship and your choice.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I wouldn’t really take comments like that to heart. Unless someone has a serious conversation with you about it, assume they have no idea what they are talking about
Post # 7
Seeing as you are making mature decisions by yourselves, I wouldn’t take their comments to heart. I guess it depends on how long you’ve been together and how long you’re planning on being engaged before getting married, but most (if not all) people will come around once they see how happy and successful your relationship is in the long run.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
I totally understand what you’re saying! My SO and I were (and still are) often criticized for “moving too fast.” Yes, it is hard to deal with sometimes. You are so happy and you want others to be happy for you and not quench your joy. The thing that I finally had to realize was that my relationship is my relationship. No one can know for sure what is right for you except you! It’s great to get advice from others, but the bottom line is that they only know what has worked for them, or for others. They don’t know what will work for you. Also, you have to realize that the vast majority of people who are critical are either jealous, or they did it a different way and they just don’t understand that there may be more than one “right way” of doing things. Most people don’t mean to be hurtful with their comments, they just aren’t thinking. Just remind yourself that what matters is that you and your FI are happy and you are doing what’s best for yourselves. Try to let people’s comments slide right off your back and don’t let them take away the joy, fun, and excitement of your relationship. This should be the most exciting and wonderful time of your life so far. Focus on that and just enjoy it:) Good luck!
Post # 9
@Stressed_Bride15: not too fast. I personally wouldn’t live with my FI before I get married (but I am not attacking…that is a very personal choice really). BUt I don’t know if you consider this fast: I met my fiance March 2011, we started “officially” dating May 2011, we got engaged Saptember 2012 (was supposed to be August, but his ‘ultimate plan’ fell through, lol) and we are getting married June 2013. I would just know my FI just over 2 years by the time we are married….my family asks what the hurry to get married, why the short , 9 month engagement (although oddly enough they wanted us to get engaged soon) but we do not care….we do not see a point in waiting since we know we are going to get married to each other anyways.
Post # 10
Don’t worry about anyone else’s opinions. If you two are happy, it doesn’t matter how fast (or slow) you move in the relationship! In my opinion, that isn’t ‘fast’. Don’t worry about it 🙂
Post # 11
People say we are moving to fast and we have been together for 4 years and will be engaged for another 2 and we don’t even live together yet. Everyone is going to have oppinions on how you are living your life it is up to you to listen to them or ignore them. If you think you are going at the right then you are, don’t listen to those people they have no idea who you are and what is right for you.