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If you're going formal, it's
Mr. and Mrs. 123 XYZ
But I think it was Mrs. Guinea Pig on the blog that wrote that it doesn't break any rules to write
Mrs. 456 and Mr. 123 XYZ
Titles are proper to include, and the man's first name and last name shouldn't be separated, I guess is the rule.
@spaniel: That's my understanding of the more modern approach. Mrs. Jane and Mr. Joe Smith. It doesn't sound right when said outloud, but it looks right on paper, IMO.
Here is a link that explains how to properly address, assemble, and mail wedding invitations.
http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/address_invitations.asp
I had SO MANY problems with this. I know it is more formal to include them but you might save yourself a lot of headache if you just go with Jane & Jon Smith with no titles.
We actually polled our female friends to figure out what they wanted. The married ones were about evenly divided into two groups. The first group wanted, "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith," and thought that referring to her as Mrs. Jane Smith would imply she was divorced. The second group wanted "Mr. Joe and Mrs. Jane Smith," and thought that referring to her as Mrs. Joe Smith would strip her of her identity. Joe and Jane Smith definitely started looking attractive at that point!
For women who kept their own names on marriage, single women, and divorced women, Ms. seems to be a totally noncontroversial approach.
@2dBride: Hehe. I've always wondered who thinks anyone is implying they are divorced when they are invited as Mrs. Jane and Mr. Joe Smith. I mean, their husband's name is right there. I can see the concern for traditional, widowed ladies who don't want their invites addressed to Mrs. Jane Smith. But if your husband's name is on the same line, how does the possibly read as a divorcee?
And I did go with Jane and Joe Smith. The world didn't end.
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what's the proper way to do it when both have the same last name?
for example, is it "Mr. 123 XYZ & Mrs. 456 XYZ"? or "Mr. 123 & Mrs. 456 XYZ"?
or, is "Mr. & Mrs." required??