Mr and Mrs before married?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is this wierd or totally the norm?
    Totally the norm, you're the weird one. : (21 votes)
    38 %
    That's weird, you're right. : (34 votes)
    62 %
  • Post # 2
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee

    When me and my bf were building our house all the vendors gave us the same last name and addressed him as my husband. Not totally the same but I found it to be a nice gesture


    One actually gave him my last name and we got a good laugh out of it

    Post # 3
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON

    My sister and her bf just went to a wedding and her bf signed the guestbook his name, her name and his last name, I guess it just made things more simple but I thought that was kind of weird. They are probably going to get engaged very soon though.

    Post # 4
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t think it’s “the norm” but it’s no big deal. She might have been doing it as a little joke. We addressed one invitation to the “Soon to be Dr…” 

    Post # 5
    1719 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think it’s odd. I wouldn’t do it unless it was an inside joke or something like that.

    To me, the use of “Mr. and Mrs.” is tied to marriage. If you’re not married, I’m most likely not going to use it for you and your SO. 

    Post # 6
    16 posts

    It would be weird for me considering I am planning on keeping my maiden name. lol I don’t think it is a good idea just to assume a woman will become Mrs. hislastname. But at the same time she was not trying to be rude or anything so i would just take it as a cute gesture

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  mrsjmv.
    Post # 7
    2455 posts
    Buzzing bee

    texaslemon:  She was probably just trying to be cute and make you feel good about your upcoming marriage. It sounds like she’s excited for you.

    I don’t think it’s the norm but I wouldn’t think much of it.

    Post # 8
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    When we were engaged, we got a lot of invitations that read “Future Mr. and Mrs…..”


    Also, you never know who was actually doing the invitations. The bride may have not been the one doing them. We had a long list of people and then had a group effort of people doing the actual addressing. I went back and found some that were error’s like that (that my FI had written, or my mom, or his mom, just doing their best from the list of people they didn’t know)…but I’m sure one or two mistakes went out without me noticing. 

    In fact, after our STD’s and invitations went out, i found out through casual conversation that some of my FI’s friends were NOT married, but that he had written that they were on both lists! I was soo embaressed that he had addressed them like that (I had no idea that they werent married!) but he was like “well, they are basically married, so I didnt think anything of it…”

    I see people get all offended about thank you notes and invites…and I just want to say: people make mistakes. People try to help other people and things get mixed up. Its hard to write out 200 STD’s, Invitations and then thank you notes and get everything 100% correct. Yes, its not normal to call someone Mr and Mrs before the wedding, but just brush it off. Its no big deal. 

    Post # 9
    131 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    We got one last month addresses to ‘The Future Mr. and Mrs. XXXXX’….  I couldn’t believe someone put that on a formal wedding invitation.

    Post # 10
    2257 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My FI has been calling me his wife for months. Not to his friends and family but if a stranger asks, I’m his wife. I just received 2 invitations for weddings for Mr and Mrs. And I find it so strange and funny and exciting. I addressed invitations to friends as Mr and Mrs that aren’t married yet but will be before our wedding….. does this really matter? lol

    Post # 11
    188 posts
    Blushing bee

    i got a few of these before the wedding. didn’t bother me. thankfully, the mail carrier doesn’t care what the name is on the envelope and just delivers it anyway.

    Post # 12
    314 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t understand why you’re offended. I think you’re just trying to find reasons to hate this girl.

    Her wedding is after yours? well then you will be attending her wedding as “Mr&Mrs XYZ” technically.

    Sounds like she’s happy for you and your upcoming union and was excited to call you Mrs XYZ, she probably thought you’d be excited to recieve your first piece of mail as Mrs XYZ. Get over it.

    Post # 13
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014


    playdohpants:  have to agree with you…

    When FI and I got engaged, FI hired a photographer to capture everything. When the photographer mailed us our photos, he addressed it as “Mr. and Mrs. mdcmod”. I thought it was super sweet and put a huge on our faces. Perhaps your friend was trying to do the same..

    all in all, while it may not be the norm, I don’t find it to be a big deal.

    Post # 14
    1824 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

    texaslemon:  Will you be married by her wedding? If not, I’ll assume you’ll almost be married. I think the person was being cute and happy for you. Nothing wrong there.

    When I received congratulatory cards in the post before we’d actually married saying Nr abd Mrs I had such butterflies and squee moments!

    Post # 15
    4750 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    texaslemon:  I think you’re totally overreacting. Is is the norm? No, but it’s also not something to be overly offended about. Is her wedding after yours? If so, she’s probably doing it because she knows that when you attend her wedding you WILL be Mr. & Mrs.

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