Post # 1
Hi Bees. I need some objective opinions. My SO and I picked out my ring about 6 months ago, and a down payment was made. I don’t think he’s thought about it since then, and I am sure he does not currently have it in his possession. It was a pretty pricey ring (in my opinion), but he told me to pick what I liked, and not to worry about the price tags. Anyway, what I would like to do is find another ring that is less expensive (maybe between 1500 and 2K) to give him another option, just in case finances are part of the dragging feet. Ok, now to the questions: first, do you think this is a good idea or a terrible one? Second, if it is a good idea, are there any good websites that have reputable jewelry that I can look at? We went to a diamond dealer to pick out my ring, so I don’t know of many other places/sites out there. Thanks for the input!
Post # 3
Do you think that he can switch the money that he has already started to pay on that ring to another? If not, it’s sort of a moot point because that money will end up wasted. I think if he can though, it would be a good idea, since finances are a big reason that guys drag their feet on proposals, even if he told you to pick what you want.
Post # 4
I believe that the down payment was for the actual diamond itself, and that it is refundable if they haven’t started making the ring yet.
Post # 5
Has he mentioned if finances are a concern or not?
Post # 6
@ DreamingBee, He has made comments about having to spend money on other things, so I am extrapolating about the financial concerns. The reason I haven’t asked is that I am really trying very hard to be patient and to not bring up anything proposal-related. Therefore, I am left to wonder and get clues where I can…If finances are an issue, I would like to make it easier for him. Just trying to be a good girlfriend.
Post # 7
Good for you for trying got be a good girlfriend! There are a few things to think about, I think. Mr Bee’s plan includes taking $ out of the equation so if you think he’s taking his time becuase of financial issues you need to have a converation about that.
#1) what do you REALLY want to wear as an engagement ring? Is it more important to have a nice ring you can pass down or are you OK with a non-diamond (gemstone or CZ)? Do you have any favorite gemstones that you like? Would you be comfortable with a CZ and upgrade it in a few years when you have more money? Or would you be happier being engaged sooner?
#2) Have you talked about timelimes for getting engaged/married? If you think he’s “dragging his fee” I’m curious to know if timeline has been discussed.
Post # 8
I think that it’s awesome you’re trying to be proactive about this situation, and that you’re respecting his own personal timeline. It could very well be that he’s holding off for financial reasons, or it could also be that he’s waiting for “that perfect moment”. I think you should look around for other rings, and see if you could find something that you like that may be less expensive, if you honestly believe that to be the issue (which is very possible. Thanks, stupid economy). It could be that for right now you get a non-diamond e ring and choose to upgrade later when finances aren’t so tight. I think if you aren’t completely in love with your current ring, it may be worth the stress saved over finances (you could look it as a few extra grand toward the wedding) to look into other options. My friend has a Moissanite ring from Moissaniteco.com that is beautiful and was reasonably priced. If he says it’s a non-money issue, then he’s probably just waiting to surprise you.
Post # 9
It’s possible that he is trying to get a large portion of it paid off before he proposes, so that you won’t have the large financial burden of paying for the ring while trying to also pay for the wedding. (This particularly could be true if you are planning on paying for all of the wedding by yourselves.)
Which, honestly, is admirable. It could make a few thousand dollars’ difference, and a few thousand dollars can make the difference between having a relatively stress-free wedding and pulling your hair out with countless DIY projects (unless, you know, that’s your thing.)
Keep us posted!