- Ms. Kibitz
- 8 years ago
New handle; again, sorry for offending with my last username.
And, if anyone read the last post about my ring, the ordered ring from Scott Kay should be in June 15 with the sapphire so I can FINALLY have my engagement ring.
We really wanted to be married in November of this year but Mr. Kibitz’s father will be out of the country the entire month. Also, December through mid-February’s weather is too ornery in Texas for me to peacefully plan an outdoor affair, so March/April of 2011 it is.
I’m a little bummed, because we’ve been together 5 1/2 years so we’re thinking “let’s get a move on!” but having a wedding without the groom’s father would be unfortunate.
Speaking of his parents, I’m wondering if anyone else is in the same position I am in regards to his mother: she seriously dislikes me and disapproves of our relationship.
She’s from Korea but Mr. Kibitz is 1/2 Korean 1/2 “Mutt” (they’re divorced and she’s remarried to a Korean man), so part of it is I’m an outspoken American woman who she doesn’t think will treat him the way I should and therefore we’ll get divorced the way they did.
She also thinks I don’t respect him and don’t show him affection, but insists it’s not me she dislikes but him with me. In her estimation (did I mention she’s a relationship therapist) we’re going to be unhappy, fight, and eventually have a horrible divorce.
I’m frustrated because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and that bothers me. It’s horrible to have your future mother-in-law tell her son most chances she gets that us being together is a mistake, she absolutely does not support our marrying, and might not come to the wedding. Also, she never says anything to me about this and is never outwardly aggressive. We had dinner a few months ago and she said she was worried about my respecting him and me not taking him away from his family and I thought I reassured her that I know I’m not perfect and I do want to be a part of their family. Obviously not.
I’ve gone through the tears and the anger, so right now I’m unhappily resigned. We’ve tried going out and doing things to show her I’m not trying to steal her son (my parents love him) but want to come into their family, but every time we go out she analyzes what I do and say (and don’t do or say) and tells Mr. Kibitz all about it the next time they speak privately. He’s sick of it and they’re barely speaking at this point and I feel horrible, like I’ve driven a stake through a parent-child relationship and we’re going into a marriage with major dissention.
Sorry for that emotional vomit. All that to say I was wondering, if anyone doesn’t mind sharing, if they went through this or are going through this. None of the 3 MIL-DIL relationships in my family are good (mother-granmother, aunt-grandmother, aunt-cousin) so I don’t have an ideal to strive for.
Is it possible? Could it get better? Advice? Condemnations?