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i am Mrs. Myfirstname mymiddlename mylastname hislastname
so i have two last names NO HYPHEN.
Dh changes his name to mine, so I wonder what to go by? Hasn't come up yet, but I think I would be a Ms.
i'm ms. mylast hislast (not hyphenated but 2 last names; my middle name is my mom's maiden name so i really have 3 last names)
i don't care if someone were to call me mrs. his last, but if i'm wriitng my name somewhere or have the option, i always choose ms.!
I totally get the argument that because Mr. doesn't advertise a man's marital status, it seems inequitable that "Miss" and "Mrs." inform others of a woman's marital status...as if a man is just a man all by himself, but a woman's status is determined somehow by her attachment (or lack of attachment) to a man.
However, I still LIKE being called Mrs. I love my husband (and no, I'm not AT ALL saying that those who don't like being called Mrs. don't love their husbands -- that would be silly) and and so excited about being married to him that I LOVE that Mrs. advertises that fact.
I don't wish there was a single female equivalent to Mr. (like Ms.) that all women use; I wish there were two forms of title for men. One for single men and one for married men, just like there is for us. That way, my husband could use the married man title too, to advertise that HE is married. I'd love that!
@peacegrl099: it was super easy - i thought i would have push back with Soc Security since i wasnt using a hypen but it was suprisingly easy.
i forget there are hispanic cultures that do it normally (usually they have hypens though) but my best friend whos from Puerto Rico is like - um thats what we normally do so thats not odd to me :) lol
and it helps with work too.
I don't know if I understand the question completely. I wouldn't care if someone addressed me socially as "Mrs." or addressed a personal card or invitation to me that way. Professionally, however, you should never address a woman as "Mrs." even if you know that she is married. If I were filling out a form, I think I would continue to choose "Ms."
@EleanorRigby: Yep, I write a fair amount of business letters to women I do not know very well. I've had it drilled into me to use Ms. every single time.
Personally, I will be Ms. MyLast, but that's an easy one. I'm sure there are people out there who want to be called Mrs. MaidenName, because there's lots of people, but it's not a usual convention. You can be Ms. Anything though. It's the default title for all women.
@EleanorRigby: Professionally, I will be Ms. NewLast and I won't care if I happen to get mail to Mrs. NewLast, but I'm filling out a magzine subscptions where you have to choose. Not a huge deal, just another area of the name change--getting married thing I didn't realize or think about. (ie-Having to initial something at work with a different last initial)
I like being called “Dr.”, actually :). I did not change my name when I got married, so socially I would like to be called Ms. “Mrs” is not correct for someone who has not changed their name. It actually really, really irritates me when I get things addressed to me as Mrs, even if they otherwise got my last name correct. I don’t want to have a title attached to me that announces my marital status to the world if there is no male equivalent.
@bells: yep you can be a Mrs. with your maiden name - MRS just signifies you are married.
I'm still the same as before we got married Ms. First name Maiden name
You can totally use Ms. with your new last name! Ms. does not signify marital status. I'm Ms. now and I'll be Ms. after the wedding. (Well, god willing, I'll be "Dr." - I'm finishing my PhD a month before the wedding, so help me - but I would otherwise keep using Ms.)
In a business situation, Ms. In my personal life, Mrs. or Ms. - it doesn't really matter to me.
Although I will likely be taking FH's last name (which has been an challenging decision itself), I intend on keeping Ms.
Marital status via honorific has always bugged me due to the double standard. Miss indicated the responsibility of one's parents, and Mrs. used to indicate the property of one's husband. I know we don't see it that way anymore, but I prefer the neutral Ms.
Have answered the poll even though I'm not married yet. I'll be Mrs Hisname. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It helps that I have no emotional attachment to my maiden name - it's one of those generic surnames that are really common. It doesn't even have that much history - one of my relatives ran away from home and changed his name to this common surname several generations ago. No attachment at all!
I'm looking forward to having a more interesting surname, and becoming part of a new family as well as my own. It signifies a movement into a new part of my life.
RainStorm. xx
I am pretty sure I will just be Ms. Myfirst Mylast -- though there is notable pressure to be Mrs. Myfirst Hislast :P
Mrs. Hislastname but I'm so young that most people call me miss anyway. I wish they'd call me Mrs.! lol I don't ever say anything though
I thought about this some and toyed with whether I'd want to be "FirstName MiddleName HisLastName" or "FirstName MyLastName HisLastName" The only reason I even thought of keeping my last name at all is because his last name is kind of...wellllll...boring. But other than that I have no real strong connection to my last name other than it's sort of cool. I like the idea of having the same last name because I feel like it unites us more as a family, and our kids will have his last name and I think it would be weird for me to be the odd one out. I'm faily traditional though. I definitely want to be a Mrs. but as I'm going to be a teacher the kids will still probably call me miss (they're not very good with the ms. mrs. difference lol).
I will be Mrs. MyFirst MyMiddle HisLast. I'm debating hyphenating because his last name sounds bizarre with my first, but that just seems like a pain to sign.
Honestly, I don't think a lot of people know the rules of how/when to use Ms./Mrs. in general, so try not to be offended if someone messes up. I remember when a friend of mine had addressed our professor as Mrs. (rather than Ms.) and she literally chewed him out for it - it was actually pretty funny.
In writng this question, I think I answered it. I feel the same way at @stacycats "Marital status via honorific has always bugged me due to the double standard". So I'm taking his last name, but using Ms. Won't be offended or take a militant stance on Mrs, just would prefer to be Ms.
Thanks for everyone's input.
Once I get my PhD I'll be Dr. and I'm pretty sure I'm going to use his last name.
Ms. was first used to 'mask' if a woman was married or not. It was considered rude to make an asumption and call a woman Mrs. or Ms., but that was in the old days when Ms. and Miss was pronounced differently. Now, Ms. is just short for Miss, like Mr. is short for Mr. Hope that helps :)
I voted "other"--I took DH's last name, but plan to use my maiden name professionally because I've published a crapton under it.
I prefer Ms., and I took my husband's last name. When I have to fill out forms this is the option I choose. As to how people address me, most people call me by my first name, though if I am addressed as Mrs. or Ms. I don't mind. I suppose when the time comes that we have kids and their friends are calling me Mrs. X or Ms. X I will let them know which to use. I just think that my marital status is irrelevant to most contexts in which honorifics are used, and so I prefer the generic "Ms."
@SouthernBelle -- I disagree that Ms. is used as an abbreviation for "Miss." In fact there are three possible honorifics for women (excluding others like doctor, etc.): Miss (for young girls and young women, always denoting unmarried), Ms. (pronounced "Miz" but sometimes as "Miss" for a woman of any age and any marital status), and Mrs. (for married women). I think people should be able to use whatever honorific they choose.
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Firstly, I’ve taken his last name and added my maiden to my middle: First OriginalMiddle MaidenMiddle HisLast. It’s been weird having a different last name,but I’ve been easing the transition by answering my work phone as First Maiden NewLast
But I have a delima—I’ve always been Ms never Miss. I felt very strongly that my marital status shouldn’t be broadcast by the prefix to my name. Now that I *am* married, I don’t know how I feel about that stance anymore. Do I want to be Ms. NewLast or Mrs. NewLast?
What did you decide?