Multiple Family-Zillas

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m inclined to say do what makes you happy. So what would happen if you put down a deposit on a venue you like? Do you need your mother’s contribution to afford the venue? Would she refuse to pay if she doesn’t get her way? 

Post # 3
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

janellephant:  Elope, or have the wedding without her financial contribution. 

Post # 4
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

I have the same questions as spiffanee.

I tend to disagree with the whole “if they’re paying, they have a say” thing. My parents paid and said that it’s their gift to me and I can do whatever I want with it. They did NOT have the wedding they wanted (apparently my grandma was a mom-zilla) but they did not want that to get in the way of my wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

What happens if you say no to your mom? Her contribution is a gift. Yes, it’s nice to include a few things here and there that would make her happy, but overall, it’s your wedding. 

If she goes on a rampage about how she contributed money and it entitles her to something, then just pay for a wedding that you can afford or elope. Yes, it’ll make some people unhappy, but you can’t please everyone, so you might as well make yourself happy.

Post # 6
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

janellephant:  Nip this in the bud and take control now or you will never get it back! I made this mistake with my FMIL. Let her help and decide WAY too much in the beginning (and WE are paying 100% of everything for the day of!) and now it has spiraled so far out of control my head is spinning. And I get married in 3 weeks. Don’t be me!

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