Post # 1
I’d like to do a “spa day” with my mom, my FI’s mom and my sister and close friends a few days before the wedding. FI’s parents are divorced, and while his dad’s wife is a nice enough person, we’ve never really clicked. I don’t want to exclude her, but it’d be so awkward to have both FI’s mom and his dad’s wife of 10 years in the same room on a relaxing day.
Any suggestions for how to deal? Just drop the spa day idea?
Post # 3
I think it kind of depends on the relationship between your FI and his step mom, and you and his step mom.
I’m in the exact same situation… dealing with FI’s dad and step mom, and mom and step dad. It’s a lot of inlaws. 🙂 I feel like I could definitely get away with doing this stuff without his step mom because she would know that it would be too weird to have both of them there. As long as I made an effort to do something with her too I don’t think she would mind at all. BUT- Fi’s step mom/mom aren’t really like competing for his/our attention or anything. Everyone is pretty content to just ignore each other forever. heh.
Post # 4
ouch, that’s a rough decision to make! What did your FI suggest? What kind of terms are the women on? If they’re on speaking terms, and you really want to do the dayspa thing, I’d say just go for it and hope they’re on good behavior. Afterall, they’re bound to end up at a certain amount of wedding related events together.
If they’re not on good terms though, or have an level of cattiness, I’d say either do the spa with a more selective group or drop it all together.
Post # 5
I don’t know the situation but just from what you wrote it doesn’t seem like it would be bad to exclude the step-mom. I think she’d understand that the situation is a bit delicate.
Post # 6
Maybe you can do the spa day as you originally planned and then take your FI’s stepmom for a nice relaxing lunch/dinner? That way you aren’t completely ignoring her, you just aren’t creating the awkward ex wife/new wife thing. I would ask your FI what his opinion is and maybe he can ask his dad what he suggests. I know you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and are thinking of others but if a spa day is what YOU need then you should do it! Even if it means just you, your mom and sister, that way nobody on your FI’s side can say they weren’t invited because you can use the it was only my family arguement? Just a suggestion!
Post # 7
Thanks for the suggestions guys; this multiple in-laws thing is new territory for me!