- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’m wondering if folks could share some input on how they would handle this situation.
My FI and I became engagd in May 2012 and really struggled with picking a wedding date. My younger sister had just moved her own wedding a year later, to August 2013. My FI has four old friends who had to be invited (and he would do anything to have them attend), so we checked their schedules before choosing a date, September 28 2013 (as one would be out of the country in June and July, and we wanted to give him time to save up and recover from his travels). It is a super long engagement, and September is NOT a good month for me (as I work in the education system and it’s the busiest month of the year), but thought it would be for the best for everyone else.
Anyhow, we just found out that one of those four friends just got engaged, and has planned his wedding for September 11 2013. (This will be his second marriage.) We’re both a little frustrated. I know everyone is entitled to their day, but our wedding will be on the East Coast of Canada, and his friend’s wedding will be in Japan. We will both be expected to go (in fact, my FI just used most of his savings to go to another of the friends’ weddings – in China – this month). I don’t know how we will have the ability to be there, and know he will be offended if we aren’t. I have no vacation time to take (it’s all being saved for our own wedding and honeymoon), and we will have no money for flights, which would cost at least a couple thousand (plus a gift).
I’m also worried that this will prevent his friend from coming to our own wedding, after we tried so hard to accomodate everyone else. They will be on their honeymoon and say they want to tag our wedding onto that, but it will be very expensive for them.
Neither my FI or myself would ever suggest they change their date – that’s not our right – but is it understandable for us to not go to their wedding, given the tight time frame? And what if my FI is asked to be a groomsman (as he was for this friend’s previous marriage)? It just seems like an etiquette trap!