mum doesnt want to help me get ready?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@janef32:  If there’s only a single room, is she weirded out by the idea of seeing you half dressed?

Post # 5
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@janef32:  Are you getting photos taken of the getting ready process?  Some moms are sensitive about getting their picture taken during an emotional time when they’re not looking their best yet.

Post # 7
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

maybe she just doesn’t want you to see her so emotional? 

Post # 8
857 posts
Busy bee

@janef32:  I think it’s exactly what you think, she doesn’t want other people to see her get emotional as she’s scared she might. Did she grow up in a household where emotion was frowned upon/ not shown?

Post # 9
1838 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

no clue other than what other people already suggested.  can you ask her?


Post # 10
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@janef32:  I am having the same issue. My mom is very insensitive and doesn’t give one damn about the wedding, she hasn’t come to any of my dress fittings. I have had it with her.

I have come to the conclusion that she is jealous that for once in her life that this is not about her. She has not helped me one bit with the wedding.

THank God for my aunt and FMIL, they have been amazing. If it weren’t for them, I would have called this whole thing off, got on a plane and eloped somewhere.

Post # 13
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t have any advice, but I can commiserate. My Mum was supposed to be in the suite with us (myself, BMs and flower girl(s)) while getting ready, but she only showed up at the last minute… apparently spending time in her own hotel room with her boyfriend was more important (and I know for a fact no sexy stuff was going on… just other ‘smoking’ activities). Sad. My sister (one of my BMs) was also supposed to do her hair while she was with us, so she ended up looking like crap. I’m used to her being flaky, though… she even skipped out on the court hearing for custody of me when I was 5. It’s nothing new.

Post # 14
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@janef32:  Some moms just don’t find that kind of thing important, mine included. I am sorry that you are put into this situation and I hope that one the big day it doesn’t distract you from your excitement. Just focus on those around you and not those that aren’t.

My mom was a disaster on my wedding day. Not only was she not helpful, she was drinking. She also spent most of the “getting ready” period worrying about herself saying how she looked like crap compared to me, that her dress looked cheap etc. I mean I am the bride for crying out loud, I am supposed to look good! My aunt ended up helping me into my dress as a pre-planned back up, we expected this from my her. It broke my heart and yes it still bothers me but we have to accept certain things about those we love. My mom will never be “there” for me when it comes to those little things.

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