Post # 1
I may be being a bit over sensitive about this as I am really not bridezillaish, but this is playing on my mind.
I told my Mum that me and her and my sister, the bridesmaid, would be going down to the venue together earlier so that we could get ready/they can help me get ready.
My Mum said, “oh no, it’ll be better if just your sister is there, it’ll be nice just having you two there.” I said I wanted her to come down too and she started making excuses that she would be too hot in her outfit and I explained that she would get ready there too. She said, oh well, we’ll talk about it later and put me off.
She’s the kind of lady who NEVER cries, the only reason I can think of is that she doesnt want to show she’s upset??
But I’m thinking, what mother doesnt want to be there to help her daughter get ready on her wedding day?? (My sister is not married and wont be getting married)
Post # 3
@janef32: If there’s only a single room, is she weirded out by the idea of seeing you half dressed?
Post # 4
Nah, she’s seen me in underwear loads of times, and me her.
Post # 5
@janef32: Are you getting photos taken of the getting ready process? Some moms are sensitive about getting their picture taken during an emotional time when they’re not looking their best yet.
Post # 6
nope, photographer not coming till after. I dont get it
Post # 7
maybe she just doesn’t want you to see her so emotional?
Post # 8
@janef32: I think it’s exactly what you think, she doesn’t want other people to see her get emotional as she’s scared she might. Did she grow up in a household where emotion was frowned upon/ not shown?
Post # 9
no clue other than what other people already suggested. can you ask her?
Post # 10
@janef32: I am having the same issue. My mom is very insensitive and doesn’t give one damn about the wedding, she hasn’t come to any of my dress fittings. I have had it with her.
I have come to the conclusion that she is jealous that for once in her life that this is not about her. She has not helped me one bit with the wedding.
THank God for my aunt and FMIL, they have been amazing. If it weren’t for them, I would have called this whole thing off, got on a plane and eloped somewhere.
Post # 11
I think it must be that. Yeah, I can imagine that it was not the done thing to show your emotions back in the day. We watched the notebook and not even 1 tear!!
Post # 12
@Daizy914: I’m sorry about that hun, it must be hard when your mum is not supportive at all like that. My family is travelling a loooonnngg way to come for the wedding so I know that she is supportive. I think people sometimes just have a funny way of showing their emotions/feelings.
Post # 13
I don’t have any advice, but I can commiserate. My Mum was supposed to be in the suite with us (myself, BMs and flower girl(s)) while getting ready, but she only showed up at the last minute… apparently spending time in her own hotel room with her boyfriend was more important (and I know for a fact no sexy stuff was going on… just other ‘smoking’ activities). Sad. My sister (one of my BMs) was also supposed to do her hair while she was with us, so she ended up looking like crap. I’m used to her being flaky, though… she even skipped out on the court hearing for custody of me when I was 5. It’s nothing new.
Post # 14
@janef32: Some moms just don’t find that kind of thing important, mine included. I am sorry that you are put into this situation and I hope that one the big day it doesn’t distract you from your excitement. Just focus on those around you and not those that aren’t.
My mom was a disaster on my wedding day. Not only was she not helpful, she was drinking. She also spent most of the “getting ready” period worrying about herself saying how she looked like crap compared to me, that her dress looked cheap etc. I mean I am the bride for crying out loud, I am supposed to look good! My aunt ended up helping me into my dress as a pre-planned back up, we expected this from my her. It broke my heart and yes it still bothers me but we have to accept certain things about those we love. My mom will never be “there” for me when it comes to those little things.