- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
I am having real dramas with my own mother. I’ve always had somewhat of a tumultuous relationship with my mother at the best of times, however I thought I would try to put those things behind me and try to make the lead up to my wedding day a special time for her to get excited as well. Well…biggest mistake ever – she is acting like she is supposed to have a bigger role in the day and that she will be the centre of attention!
So many problems to list, so I’ll just start with the major ones….! Believe me – there are so many more!!! lol
The colour scheme of my wedding is royal blue. Hence my bridesmaid dresses are royal blue. My sister is one of the bridesmaids (so she would be in the family photos in blue) and when I requested to mum that when she finds a dress, to make sure it is in a different colour than blue, she instantly became defensive and said to my Maid/Matron of Honor when we were out bridal dress shopping and I was in the changeroom “Stacey said I cant have blue, but if I find a dress i like in blue, I’m going to buy it – she can’t tell me what to wear!” My Maid/Matron of Honor was flabergasted!
A few days later Mum then sent me a picture of the dress she was going to try on at a shop and it was almost an EXACT replica of MY wedding dress, but in burgandy! (strapless sweetheart, aline rouching with lace up back). I mean wtf! Whose does she think is getting married!?
When I confronted her about her dress choices, she told me I was being demanding and selfish! She then said she wasn’t going to tell anyone what she’s going to wear and is just going to rock up on the day in her outfit whether I like it or not!
Her latest issue is to do with my invitations. As I’m making my own, I thought Id send a few pictured through of the sample FONTS I had chosen, to get her opinion (i don’t know what I keep trying to include her..) I had written ‘Together with our families Stacey & (fiance) request the pleasure of your company…’ instead of naming her and dad specifically (dad told me he really wasn’t bothered whether I put their names on it or not) however mum totally had her nose put out. I tried to explain to her that whilst yes, traditionally the bride’s parents are named on the invite because they pay for and thus HOST the wedding, however as they and my fiance’s parents both put in 1/4 each towards the cost of our wedding and we have paid for the rest, I said that technically we’re paying more and hosting our own wedding. Because both sets of parents had contributed, I had put ‘together with our families’ at the top of the invite. Well, Mum didn’t like that! She then changed the size of the font on the invite (she had gone ahead and re-typed it and reformatted it!) so mine and my fiances names were in the same size font as hers and the guests’ names. She couldn’t see why mine and my finance’s names should be bigger than anyone elses!!
The night before the wedding, we are all staying in a hotel (me and groom on different floors for the Friday) and my mum wanted her and dad to stay the night before as well. I said that would be fine, but perhaps she could choose a room on a different floor because the same room I’m in would be our bridal suite that we return to after we leave our wedding. She proceeded to argue with me like a childish teenager with an attitude saying ‘if i want to stay on the same floor as you i will! What’s the problem with that!? You’re being absolutely ridiciulous!’ Geeze, it was just a request mum! There’s 20 odd floors to choose from – cant you just pick a different one!?
I’ve chosen to have 2.5-3hrs between my ceremony & reception and my mother said it was a ‘ridiculous amount of time for the guests to wait’. Even when I explained that this amount of time was suggested by both our photographer AND videographer and that we would send the guests to the bar around the corner from our receptoin venue to have a few drinks before our 6pm pre-dinner drinks, she continued to tell me it was a stupid idea and that I should shorten the time. She really fails in the delivery part of her comments… keep putting me down why don’t you mum!
She complains that I’m not involving her enough in my wedding, but can you blame me!? She is just impossible and it’s getting to the point that I don’t even want her in my hotel room when I’m getting ready with my bridesmaids. I’ve tried explaining this to her and she just runs the guilt trip on me saying that I’ll regret it when Im older.
Has anyone else had similar experiences with their mother’s? Why can’t she just let me do the things which make me happy. It’s like she’s being petty and argues with all the decisions I’m making, just for the sake of it. It’s really grinding on me and getting me down. Should I just cut her off from everything or keep persisting?
Sorry this post is so long….damn I feel better for getting this all off my chest tho! Hopefully someone has some advice for me, or can empathise with my situation??
Thanks guys 🙂