Post # 1
hello all! 🙂
A co-worker friend of mine recently got married in a traditional ceremony last weekend. I would like to give him a gift or at least a card but in the past gifts (birthday, etc.) have been politely refused.
Can someone tell me if it would be okay to get him a small token or card? Or maybe if I just brought donuts/coffee or an office lunch to celebrate his marriage? We do something at work for everyone who has gotten married/had a baby, etc. Everyone has been very generous for my wedding and office baby shower. I’ve tried to Google, but haven’t found an answer. I don’t want to offend anyone and want to be respectful of traditions.
Thanks so much!
Post # 3
Ohhh that’s strange if your friend refused gifts! Did he say why?
For muslim weddings/newly married muslim couples, the usual gifts that would be given are household appliances/money/books abt marriage&keeping a harmonious marriage/anythg you think might be useful for the couple in starting their new life together. No alcohol or pork products. (though that’s not what
Maybe you can talk to your other colleagues and ask what they think. If it’s a whole office thing, he might feel less shy abt accepting gifts since it’s from everyone and won’t cause him to think that you are interested in him. I’m not saying you are but when it’s sthg btw a man and a woman who can marry, it might cause gossips. Perhaps that’s why he’s declined gifts before.
I might be wrong but i hv some friends like that but when i asked, he said it was because he didnt want ppl to assume things abt our relationship (we were colleagues but ppl might think we are more than that). Office gossips; you know how they are 🙂
I just usually collect money, buy a gift from all of us (like a fridge) get some food, maybe ask the person to show us his wedding pictures.
Post # 4
I used to live in a predominantly Muslim area and have been to a lot of Muslim weddings…it was always standard to give either money (most common) or something for the household. When I got married, our Muslim friends all gave us cards and/or gifts. I’m not Muslim myself, so I’m not an expert by any means, but I don’t think giving him a card would be offensive. I’d skip adding a gift card or anything since it seems from his past refusal of gifts that that would make him uncomfortable.
Post # 5
Thanks so much for your suggestions!
Not sure why he’s declined before – I’m married and at the moment hugely pregnant, lol, so I don’t think coworkers would assume anything – but I do know when we first met, when he was being introduced to everyone he didn’t shake hands with females. (again, I totally respect customs and traditions, so no offense taken at all)
Maybe I’ll get a card and we can have an office lunch or breakfast treats in his honor. Thanks again for your replies! 🙂
Post # 6
Most likely he didn’t accept gifts for bday etc was because many Muslims don’t celebrate any holidays/occasions unless they are commented on within Islamic texts. The 2 Eids are considered the only 2 holidays in Islam, so many Muslims don’t celebrate V-day, halloween, birthdays etc.
That being said, in Islam, getting married is considered fulfilling half of your religious obligations so it is always a big celebration.
A gift would definitely be appropriate. You can give whatever you like (money or actual item) because he won’t be expecting you to know/follow his own specific culture’s traditions.