Post # 1
My fiance comes from a very strong catholic family. Because of this, we want to get married in a catholic church. Actually, his dad, who is a catholic deacon, will be doing the ceremony. We do not plan on having a full mass, just the ceremony.
My only concern is that I was never baptised. Will I be allowed to get married in the Catholic Church without going through this? Would they have even counted a presbyterian baptism if I did have one? They usually don’t keep record of it like they do in the Catholic Church.
I was raised Baptist and for some reason, just never did it. This isn’t to say I don’t want to be baptised, but I’m not really at a point where I can. I’m not ready to convert to catholicism, although I do attend mass with my fiance pretty regularly. I can’t get baptised in a baptist or bible church without being a member.
Has anyone had experience with this?
Post # 3
I’m pretty sure you have to make confirmation to get married in the church.
Post # 4
If one party is baptized but the other isn’t you can get a dispensation thingy, there are other Catholics on here that can explain much better than me. I just know you can do it.
I think its not considered a Sacrament though…
Post # 5
@dallasag: My only concern is that I was never baptised. Will I be allowed to get married in the Catholic Church without going through this?
Yes. The local bishop will need to grant a dispensation for the marriage, which is not a big deal at all (they do it every day and the deacon will do all of the work). The only requirement is that your future husband has to promise to raise the children Catholic.
I’m pretty sure you have to make confirmation to get married in the church.
That’s not true, even for a Catholic (though it is recommended for a Catholic to have received the Sacrament of Confirmation, it is not required). Please be careful about spreading misinformation about Catholicism if you don’t know – there’s too much going around as it is.
Post # 6
@MrsPinkPeony: There are two types of marriages: sacramental marriages and natural marriages. From the perspective of being married, they are exactly the same and you are equally married. The difference is that one is a sacrament (and bestows additional grace from God) and one is not.
Whenever two Christians marry (regardless of whether or not they are Catholic), it is considered to be a sacramental marriage by the Catholic Church. When a Christian and a non-baptized person marry (or when two non-baptized people marry), it is considered to be a natural marriage. However, if you are in a natural marriage, and the non-baptized person is later baptized (Catholic or otherwise), that marriage automatically becomes a sacramental marriage.
Post # 7
I’m a non-catholic marrying a catholic. I had attended a church as a child but was never baptized. When we filled things out at the church the priest put me down as an un-baptized christian. He said we could either file some paperwork with the diocese and get married or I could take the classes to become Catholic. He wasn’t telling me to do that or pressuring me to or anything just giving me all the options!
“Would they have even counted a presbyterian baptism if I did have one?” – They told us in our class that they do recognize most all baptisms and won’t baptise someone who has already been baptised. I think there are a couple that don’t word it how they would like but most are accepted.
I’m definitely not an expert but that’s what I’ve learned so far! Hope it helps!
Post # 8
@CoffeeHound: I agree. A friend of mine who is Catholic and had all of her sacraments was just married in a Catholic church to her now husband who was never baptized. They received dispensation, and it was something that was fairly simple.
Post # 9
@dallasag: “Would they have even counted a presbyterian baptism if I did have one?”
Yes. Generally any baptism that is performed in the Trinitarian Formula “… in the name of the Father and Son and Holy Spirit…” and that uses water is a valid baptism per the Catholic Church. This is virtually all protestant denominations (Lutheran, Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, etc) are valid, with the notable exceptions of Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses (neither of which believe in the Trinity).
Someone validly baptized into a Christian denomination is a Christian. If you join the Catholic Church as a Christian, you would not be re-baptized (all protestants with valid baptism are already considered to be part of the Catholic Church – just not fully in communion with the Church).
If you were baptized but don’t have a record (even though Presbyterians don’t record baptisms the same way, they still record them in their church registry and will produce a letter that you were baptized if you request it), a priest will accept a statement from someone at the baptism (usually a parent).
Post # 10
i think it all depends on your parish also. my sister is not catholic and never baptised, married in a catholic church to someone who was catholic and baptised. she went to church every weekend, but just never converted. The priest at the church was very understanding and performed their wedding ceremony without the full mass.
Post # 11
@dallasag: Both people don’t have to be Catholic. If he is, then you can get married. You have to talk to your bishop about all the rules. You do have to go through pre-cana though and you have to promise to raise your children catholic.
*raised Roman Catholic*
Post # 12
Think it depends on the church – I just got married in August – I had to go through the Adult RCIA program – because I had to be baptized and confirmed to get married in my church – so in April my priest baptize/confirmed me and August he married me!
Post # 13
@Ms. Purple: i think it all depends on your parish also.
It doesn’t. The rules are set by Canon Law and are constant all over the world. I know it’s a somewhat foreign idea, but the Catholic Church has rules that must be followed by everyone. These rules are freely available on the internet for anyone to read here: http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_INDEX.HTM There is no wiggle room in these rules.
The priest at the church was very understanding and performed their wedding ceremony without the full mass.
That’s actually not allowed. If the priest allowed a Nuptial Mass for a natural marriage, that was a mistake. Natural marriages are required to be performed in the context of a Rite of Marriage. Sacramental marriages can choose either a Rite of Marriage or a Nuptial Mass.
I had to go through the Adult RCIA program – because I had to be baptized and confirmed to get married in my church
Only one of you has to be baptized to have a Catholic wedding. It sounds like there was a communication issue somewhere. There’s an entire chapter of canon law specifically addressing the fact that Catholics can marry non-Catholics http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P40.HTM
Post # 14
Thanks everyone! We are meeting with a church on Saturday and I was getting nervous. This makes me feel a lot better.
Post # 15
I agree with CoffeeHound, she really knows her stuff. I am a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic in a Catholic church. My uncle is also a Catholic priest who will be marrying us, and he has explained it to us just the way CoffeeHound did.
Post # 16
@dallasag: I was Presbyterian baptized too, and it worked out just fine! We had the choice of having a mass or not. We decided not to have one, but it’s still the lengthy/sacred ceremony for a baptized Christian, just without Communion and some key parts. Really the Catholic church welcomed me with open arms. I was worried about the record thing too. They didn’t need a record, just from the Catholic born. However, I did go find my babybook, and Luckily for me, there was a tiny Presbyterian baptism booklet that the pastor filled out on the day(more like a memento). My church was in a highschool back then(they are now in a building) so I knew they wouldn’t have the record. So the Catholic church photocopies my certificate/booklet just in case someone might want it. But they really don’t care. The priest just had to get permission to marry me I think. But he took care of that, not me:)