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And the RSVP chase begins.

"Must I allow my cheating ex-husband watch me give birth?"

posted 9 months ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you let your ex be at the birth of your child
    Yes. It's his child too. : (29 votes)
    12 %
    I would if we just broke up and he didn't cheat : (48 votes)
    20 %
    No way! He cheated and he doesn't deserve it! : (109 votes)
    45 %
    Regardless of the reason I wouldn't let an ex be there : (50 votes)
    21 %
    other. explain below. : (5 votes)
    2 %
  •  
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    I was reading this article http://gawker.com/5830935/must-i-allow-my-cheating-ex+husband-to-watch-me-give-birth-asks-too+nice-lady

    To sum it up when she was six months pregnant she discovered that her husband was having an affair.  She is now closer to birth and her ex-husband and his family want to be at the birth of their son.  

    Would you allow the father of your child to be at the birth if you had broken up while you were still pregnant? Would it change for you if it was a mutual break-up instead of cheating?

     
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    MrsSl82be    October 24, 2009  

    I think if it was a mutual breakup, and we were still amicable, then yes. But if he cheated on me while I was pregnant, hell no.

     
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    SpecialSundae    April 21, 2012   Dunfermline, Fife, Scotland, UK

    If it were a mutual break up then I'd allow the father to be at the birth, but by cheating I think he's forfeited the right to be around at such a personal moment. 

     
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    2PeasinaPod       Philadelphia

    Absolutely not. He gave up that right when he disrespected me by cheating on me. Though it's his baby, it's my body. There's no way he would be in the delivery room!

     
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    Jenbee    June 23, 2012  

    No. They can be at the hospital but no way would he be in the room. He screwed up. his loss. I wouldnt even think about it for one second.

     
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    Mrs.ChubbyBunny    October 1, 2011   Texas

    He could be in there is he wanted. I would have something sharp aimed at him at all times, but hey, if that's his perogative.

     
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    soyjoy222    June 1, 2012   PA

    @2PeasinaPod: Though it's his baby, it's my body.

    My thoughts exactly. There would be no way that he would be in the delivery room.

     
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    MissNoodles    September 14, 2011   Winnipeg, Canada

    He can be at the hospital, yes.  In the room?  No.

     
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    MrsSl82be    October 24, 2009  

    Hell, after reading the article, I wouldn't even put his name on the birth certificate. In some states, that means his rights are therefore forfeited. I hope she's in one of those states

     
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    Aure    October 6, 2012   Las Vegas

    No way. And his family could shove it.

     
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    linguo42    February 27, 2011   Vancouver, B.C.

    Oh hell no. If he wanted to be in that delivery room then he should have kept his dick out of other chicks.

    If it was a mutual break-up I wouldn't have a problem with it, but the second he cheats, no dice. There's enough stress and emotional stuff going on at a birth without the cheater being around to make it worse.

     
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    Aubergold    May 2012   DC metro

    Um can I get a HELL NO?  I dont want to be having thoughts of my husband banging another women while in labor!  Stay outside.  The nerve.

    Did you guys see this part?

    "I'm seven months pregnant. Six weeks ago, my husband confirmed my suspicions that he has been having an affair. She is now his girlfriend and he has moved in with her..."

     

    OMG!! Is new GF gonna be at the hospital too?  People suck.

     
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    Eva Peron    November 2011  

    Oh boy! At first I misinterpreted your title and text. It thought she was in a second marriage, that just went bad, adn the ex ex and family wanted to watch. That would be Weird.

    Well as bad as the ex is, the child will still have family on the fathers side. You want to bring the child into a world low in confrontation. I feel like the kid will grow up with a lot of animosity. Really depends on how close the family is and their treatment regardless of the husband towards her.

    If I were pregnant and this happened to me my feelings would be along the lines of the columnist ;)

     

     
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    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    At the hospital - probably, as long as the "other" woman wasn't there. In the room - HELL NO!

     
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    Beansy    October 22, 2011  

    I'm going to back up my vote with an oh HELL no

     
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    winniewolf    October 2009  

    No, no, no.

     
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    bells    June 26, 2011  

    I agree he can be there in the hospital because no matter what it is still his child. I may not want him in the actual delivery room though.

     
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    Crisark    November 5, 2011   WV

    Yeah that's a giant Hell NO!

     
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    Storm0075    September 10, 2011   MD

    In the hospital yes. In the room...no way! Unfortunately because of the child you are stuck with the lying, cheating SOB forever. And the family has some nerver to want to be there as well after they knew about it!!!

     
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    MapleBecky    July 9, 2011   Canada

    As a former L&D nurse, I would rather he stay out.  The woman in labour needs to focus on herself and the baby and not let the negative energy of the ex in the room.  

     
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    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    His happy ass could be in the waiting room, like everyone else. In other words, No. No. And no.

     
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    Grizz    December 2, 2011  

    Nooooooo way Jose'! Yeah, I get that he's the father and its the birth of his child. But how DARE he cause her so much emotional pain and then steal the joy out of the birth of her baby! She doesn't deserve to have that taken from her too. He can go kick rocks!

     
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    AprilJo2011    April 9, 2011  

    Hell to the no.

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    I'm surprised at all of the "No's" I thought the article was harsh. 

     
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    zippylef    October 30, 2010   Norfolk, UK

    Ummm... no. I'd call him after it was all over and be like. "Hey, come see your kid." Harsh? Yep. Deserved? I think so.

    He's a douche. I'd treat him like a douche.

     
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    Miss Tattoo    September 15, 2012   Pittsburgh, PA

    Oh hell no. He would not be in the room. In the waiting room? sure, but only if he didn't bring the woman he cheated on me with.

     
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    crh1729    April 7, 2012   Wilson NC

    I would allow him to be there but not in the room with me. He would see the child afterwards.

     
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    MsJeep23    May 14, 2011   Washington, D.C.

    I remember reading this when it originally came out in the Post--big NO. It really comes down to the fact that it is her body, and having him there would stress her out and put her at a higher risk for complications. If he doesn't like it, then he shouldn't have cheated.

     
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    Storm0075    September 10, 2011   MD

    @mwitter80: harsh..nah! lol Cheating on a woman who is about to give birth to your child is pretty harsh IMHO.

     
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    rachiecakes    January 23, 2011   Boston

    No way! 

    The last thing this woman needs to think about while she's giving birth is the cheating ex and whoever else is waiting in the lobby - forget that! 

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    @Storm0075: I agree that he's a scumbag. 

    However, I wouldn't ever want to explain to my child why Daddy wasn't at their birth.

     
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    MissHelen    November 20, 2010   California

    No, absolutely not. Especially since his family knew and kept it from her. No, this article wasn't harsh at all.

     
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    harmonyeee    May 8, 2009  

    absolutely not! if he cheated, his presence would just bring me stress and anger - exactly what you do not need during labor and delivery! if it was mutual and i felt like his presence would be a positive thing, then sure.

     
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    Jenniphyr    February 2, 2013   Alberta, Canada

    Hell to the no. He cheated on my lady parts, he's lost the right to see them. (LOL!)

     
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    MrsSl82be    October 24, 2009  

    @mwitter80: It might not ever come up that he was or wasn't there. And honestly, the child will find out sooner or later why his parents aren't together in the first place. I can't see lying to the kid about the breakup, and it would help them to know that actions have consequences. At least, that's my perspective

     
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    muckmoo1      

    um absolutely not! If he hurt me like that, I would get alot of satisfaction by returning the favor and not letting him see his son being born. I have no sympathy for cheaters.

    Also, you should be calm and relaxed when you are getting ready to give birth. I know my heart rate would go up to the roof if I saw that mf*cker in the room. It just wouldn't be a pleasant experience for me in that situation especially.

     
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    AprilJo2011    April 9, 2011  

    @mwitter80:  I think the child is more likely to ask why daddy is living with another woman, than why daddy wasn't in the delivery room.

     
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    kperry3    January 1, 1991  

    It's still his baby as well, no matter what kind of jerk he is. So I would let him be at the hospital... but not in the room. He can see the baby like everyone else afterwards.

     
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    HopingToBeaMama    April 9, 2009  

    After reading the details of the story, I'd say absolutely NOT! Cheating is one thing. Cheating on her WHILE PREGNANT is even worse! If it were me, I wouldn't call him to let him know when I'd be in labor. When I had given birth and was prepared to see him, I would then call him to let him know he could come see his child.

    There is NO WAY he'd be in the room. And honestly, I wouldn't want him and his family there waiting at the hospital... since it's HER BODY and she is the one giving birth, I think she has ever right to decide who to call (or not call) when she goes into labor. I think he made his feelings clear when he cheated on her. And then moved in with his new girlfriend.

    Unfortunately, she will always have him in her life, as the father of her child, so they are going to have a lot more to work out than just the birth!

     
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    MrsSl82be    October 24, 2009  

    @mwitter80: It might not ever come up that he was or wasn't there. And honestly, the child will find out sooner or later why his parents aren't together in the first place. I can't see lying to the kid about the breakup, and it would help them to know that actions have consequences. At least, that's my perspective

     

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