- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I am so frustrated!
Backstory: my fiance’s mother does not help us. With anything. She is the complete opposite of my mother, who is always showing love by asking questions, asking how she can help, doing small favors, etc.
My future Mother-In-Law, on the other hand, has not lifted a finger to help with our wedding. We had to bug her and my fiance’s father just to send their RSVP in, and we ended up just manually entering what they wanted to eat because they never did. She once COMPLAINED when a Thanksgiving dinner that we were cooking was not ready on time. And half of the guests where her friends. And she did not help AT ALL with the preparation.
So, I really should have asked her much earlier (we are now at ~4 weeks before the wedding) what she was wearing, and if she wanted help shopping. That’s what I would have done if I could stand being around her for more than 20 minutes. So at mother’s day brunch the other day, we asked her. And she mentioned this “blue” jacket she wore to at Christmas a few years ago. So later on, out of curiousity, fiance and I looked up the photos, and lo and behold it is an IVORY jacket with blue details. It has really really bold and loud patterning on it, as it’s a Chinese jacket. I also feel this is out of place and rather culturally insensitive, because I am asian and fiance’s familiy is caucasian. She never lets me forget this, and I sometimes feel like a freakshow novelty item because of it.
So I asked my fiance to call his mother and hint that maybe should could wear this at the rehearsal dinner, and find something else to wear to the wedding. She flipped out and claimed it was ridiculous that we ask her not to wear white at a wedding, and that it’s “cream” not white, and she could wear whatever she wanted – that there are no rules against it. She asked him if I put him up to this (which was not true – we both agreed this jacket would look terrible in our wedding photos), and she’ll probably blame me for it in the end. If she’s not going to help with our wedding, the least she could do is just not be difficult about it!
At this point, I’m just so fed up with her that she can wear whatever she wants. The taking and printing of photos is up to me anyway, so if it’ll make her happy to wear that horrid thing, then perhaps it’s all for the best. It is partially my fault for not confirming what she was wearing earlier on. Is there anything else I can do??
I wonder why Future Mother-In-Law is one letter away from FML.