Post # 1
Hi everyone! I got engaged almost 1 month ago and have seriously started brainstorming ideas with my fiancé of what type of ceremony we’d like. I say seriously because we have talked about it in the past already but now that we are actually engaged, it’s time to finally decide! So anyway, we asked his closest cousin for ideas and she told us that we HAVE TO have a church wedding and there was no way around it at all… She said God gave us love and marriage after all, which of course is totally true but, I don’t feel we must have our wedding ceremony in a church. Does the bible even say we MUST get married in a church? >< I am a God-loving person and always look to God but, I actually feel uncomfortable with that. Not about being in a church (because I go to church every weekend) but rather being the centre of attention and standing in front of a large group of people, even if they are related to us – it’s kind of like a fear I’ve always had. I believe that as long as God is in our hearts and we do lots of prayers, read the bible regularly and most importantly have a God-centred marriage then it is totally fine to not get married in a church (or even to not have a ceremony at all?)! Showing true love to God is living in His name every single moment of your life 🙂
If we could have to it our way (everyone wants us to have a wedding ceremony except us, more me over fi though), we’d just go to the courthouse with his immediate family and my mum to just become legally married and that’s that! Plus we agree that a wedding would be a financial burden, involve lots of stress and planning for just the one day, and of course for me, too much attention. Yes, it’s the day I finally get to become 1 with him after 7 years (the day we plan to be married that is; yep, I know that’s a long time to be together and abstinent) but anyway like I said, the God-centred marriage is the important thing.
How do you guys feel about it? 🙂
Post # 3
I definitely don’t think it needs to be in a church. Are you catholic though? If you are, then that is the rule for Catholics. If you get married outside of the physical church the marriage will not be recognized in most cases. I say do what you want!
Post # 4
@hollyberry4: No, I’m a Christian 🙂 but I didn’t know that about Catholics. Thanks!
Post # 5
@i_am_His: My DH and I are both born-again, Spirit-filled, evangelical Christians, and my DH is senior pastor of a church, but my (now former, since I married DH and moved to his area and attend his church) pastor married us at a gorgeous outdoor venue that my DH and I chose for our ceremony.
We absolutely had a “church” wedding, complete with praise and worship music, Scripture readings, a Biblically based ceremony, traditional vows, and Holy Communion) — we just chose to have it in an outdoor setting.
Post # 6
@i_am_His: Catholics are a type of Christian. But I take your point, you’re not Catholic which I’m guessing means you’re Protestant.
In answer to your question: no. I know some Protestant couples (go to my church, saved, bible believing etc) who have chosen to have a Christian ceremony outdoors rather than at a church.
Post # 7
I personally feel that as long as you have God in your heart that is all you truly need. God is everywhere, not just in churches and as long as you open yourself to him he will be with you on the day of your wedding, whether it be in a church, park, JOP, or anywhere else. It sounds like God is very important to you and that means he will be important to you during your wedding even if you are not in a church. Have your day the way you want it and ask God for the strength to tell the people close to that is what you want.
Post # 8
@i_am_His: I’m also very torn as I almost feel like it’s more ‘real’ in a church which is just silly really! It certainly is more traditional and I can understand people’s strong feelings on the subject but at the end of the day you are making the same promises no matter where you are. Do what feels right for you as a couple 🙂
Post # 9
@i_am_His: Nope. The building is not the church. The people are. My wedding will be outside (save for inclement weather). Having your wedding outdoors will make the covenant no less sacred, sincere or consecrated.
Post # 10
@i_am_His: That’s completely ridiculous. No, you don’t. “Churches” as they are today didn’t even exist for a long time, so were the people who got married pre-church sinning? The point of marriage, and the part where you show your love to God are in the eternal commitment you are making to each other and to God, in accordance with how it has been laid out in the Bible, and by the message of your ceremony if you have one, etc.
Churches, when it comes down to it, are just a building. What does this cousin think about brand new churches that start out renting schools and other public spaces to meet? Not worshipping God? Really, the whole concept is ridiculous. She needs to get her legalistic head out of her rump.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
Firstly God will bless your marriage regardless of where you get married.
Just my thoughts. While I agree with what you have said, I find it ….. suprising (for want of a better word) that on this day you wouldnt want to incorporate God into your actual legal union on that day. It is so important for me to get married by a God fearing man and to make those promises to God. It is also important that my nearest and dearest see the promises we’ve made before God and what God has put together let no man tear apart. This means more to me than any legal piece of paper and without that promise actually being made to God in my eyes the wedding is still not valid. God is a part of our marriage so for him not being there (im not sure in courthouses in Melbourne, I know in UK you cant even mention God except in a religious building) is like me getting married without the groom.
In any case, you most certainly dont have to do this in a church. A small christian outdoor ceremony would not break the bank and give you that relaxed feeling you want. You could host it at a time when its acceptable to just provide a few drinks and nibbles and then everyone can just go home.
Post # 12
God made the earth, so why would He be unhappy to have you celebrate your happiest moment to date in the beautiful outdoors? Don’t worry about what your friend says. Choose where YOU want to get married!
Post # 13
I’ve said yes because in England, any wedding that isn’t in a church can have no mention of God, or anything religious. So if you want to show your love for God then you have to get married in a church.
Post # 14
@FromA2B2013: As a resident of the US, I am unfamiliar with the laws in the UK. Is there truly a law preventing ordained ministers from marrying couples outside of a church building?
Post # 15
I’m not sure if it is a “law” law but I think that any wedding that does not take place in a “religious” building has to be a civil ceremony. Unless it comes under the category of a hospital or prison and one person can’t leave…then I would hope they could have the ceremony they wanted.
It was only a recently passed that people could get married outside and only with a licence, I think again it’s a civil ceremony thing.
Post # 16
Some churches (the groups) do not have their own church buildings.
Personally, I like the tradition of having it in a church, but I don’t see anything wrong with people who choose to have it elsewhere!