My 53 year old father just got engaged to a 28 year old B****!!!!! (long)

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

@Stranger516:  Wow. What a horrific, horiffic woman, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. If I were you, I’d try and make sure you see only your dad alone without the mega bitch. I don’t know how you’d feel about boycotting the wedding, but considering how awful she is, I’d probably do that too.

Post # 4
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you want him to be happy. There is nothing you can do. I don’t even know whether it is a good idea to ask whether they’re getting a pre-nup. The one thing you can do though is try and behave in a way that makes your dad what how normal women of your (and his fiancee’s) age behave 🙂

Post # 5
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Omg I felt enraged just reading this! I’m so sorry hopefully he comes to his senses before its too late.

Post # 6
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Stranger516:  Holy crap. How the hell could anyone stand to be in a relationship with a horror like that?

Given how she is going out of her way to make your life crap when she’s around you, this essentially means you won’t have a relationship with your father for as long as he’s around. I would go ahead and let him know that. And given that he pretty much is already aware of this, and had still chosen this nasty harpy over you, he does not deserve a relationship with his daughter.

I would simply let him know that as long as he wants to destroy his own life and his relationship with you, he will not be seeing you.

Post # 7
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius

@Stranger516: that’s really terrible I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this situation. It sounds like she is just a horrid young women who as some serious issues. No job, sitting around drunk in the middle of the day and suggesting that your dad ‘may as well f**k you’ that is horrendous!!! I guess he knows what she is like and how you feel about this women, and he is doing it anyway so he will have to accept this and I doubt a women like this will treat him well and be faithful for the rest of their married life…

Post # 8
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Stranger516:  I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m sort of in the same situation with my mom. Although I don’t talk to her anymore whatsoever, I literally cut her out of my life. Part if the reason was because of her bf. But I know we’ll eventually start talking again, years from now though, I don’t plan on having a relationship with her bf, if he’s still in the picture. 

You have a few choices here. Maybe invite both your dad and his FI out for lunch or dinner and talk to them both about building a relationship. If you don’t mind getting to know her, then in front of your dad tell her you want to start clean and become friends or at least cordial. That way if she acts like a snotty brat, your dad is ther to witness her behavior. 

Or like one pp mentioned only meet with your dad alone and avoid her as much as you can. This might suck for family gatherings and holidays though.

Unfortunaley, doesn’t sound like your dad will change his mind about her if you tell him you don’t approve of this engagement and even if he chooses you over her, he may resent you. He clearly doesn’t see what a bitch she really is. Just like my mom doesn’t see what an asshole and disrespectful her bf was to me. In her eyes, I was the rude one and he’s just so wonderful to her. I’m sure she’s a different person to your dad, maybe she does make him happy but it’s still not right to treat you the way she did. 

My mom is still with her bf even though I cut all ties with her. Which is fine, as long as she’s happy. I don’t expect her to break up with him because of me, but just wanted her to realize how he was with me and how she was chosing her bf over me. I just don’t have to have her be apart of my life anymore, just the way she chose her bf over me in situations. 

Good luck! Hope you can work this out where both you guys can be happy and comfortable with. 

Post # 9
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t fancy being in your situation but i think you have no choice but to be the bigger person in this. I know she called you a bitch that day but you said a ton of horrible things to her too, basically you gave her ammunition against you.

Your Dad is a grown man capable of making his own decisions. I say you limit contact with her as much as possible but when you do speak with her be civil, pleasant and nice. She will have nothing against you and it will show that she is absolutely crazy.

Good luck.

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