- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
TL;DR version at the bottom
Hey bees. I really need to get this off my chest because I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this. My amazing friend/bridesmaid talked me into doing a boudoir shoot. It was never something I would have seeked out to do, but she said she would do it with me. Her sister knows the photographer, and for $200 it included hair and makeup. So I told her I would do it.
I had gotten fairly excited about it, I purchased two new bra/panty sets, and started Pinteresting ideas a bit. The day rolls around and I’m nervous, but I’m always willing to give anything a shot. I arrive to the place early in the morning, and I’m “greeted” by the photographer and makeup artist. I say “greeted” with the quotations because they didn’t really acknowledge me, they were just chatting between themselves. We walked upstairs into the studio which was one small room with no dividers in an old mill. They hadn’t gone in to set up or anything, and unfortunately, there is no heat in the studio. So it was just as cold outside as it was inside. I had to leave my winter coat and scarf on and was still freezing.
They start working on my hair and makeup, finally the photographer decides to formally introduce herself to me. The 3 of them (photog, hairstylist, and makeup artist) all knew each other and no one was really engaging me in conversation. It was so awkard. This is how it felt; Picture yourself walking into the cafeteria back in high school and there’s only one person you kind of know in the cafeteria, but they’re sitting with they’re friends. You sit down with them and they’re all talking because they’re friends but you only know the one girl. So you sit there uncomfortably and hoping your lunch period ends as soon as possible. That’s exactly how it felt.
During the time they were doing my hair and makeup, the photog starts talking about how she had this client for a boudoir shoot who was just awkward. She went on about how the girl was very difficult to pose and was just overall very strange. Then she whips out her laptop and shows the poor girls boudoir photos to the MA, hairstylist, and me! I felt mortified on behalf of the girl in the photos. To know the photog made fun of this client and showed her private bourdoir photos to 3 random people was so extremely unprofessional and nauseating to me. Then the photog started talking about if all else fails and the girl is just really awful, you can always get a sexy eyelash shot because then you don’t have to worry about how awkward they look.
So my friends arrives. Her appointment was after mine, and it sounded like they planned to stagger us so while one was getting their hair and makeup done, the other was having her photoshoot. Well they were running late, so two other girls ended up arriving, and now it was my time to shoot. Now, earlier in the post I mentioned this was one room with no dividers. I went to change (thankfully there was a dressing room), and realized those two girls, the MA, hairstylist, and my friend were all going to be watching my shoot. I told the photographer I was scared and very uncomfortable. I heard her tell the hairstylist to move chairs so I figured the girls were sitting somewhere else. Nope. I walk out in a thong and bra to see two girls I’ve never met in my life watching me, as well as the MA who I had never met, and then my friend and her sister (the hairstylist).
I was so embarassed and uncomfortable to have strangers watching me trying to pose sexy in lingerie. Not only that, but it was still FREEZING! I was barefoot on an ice cold floor, I had goosebumps all over me, and I was literally shivering with teeth chattering and everything. So it starts and the photog starts posing me. She told me I’d begin to feel more comfortable as the shoot went on. Well she began micromanaging my posing. I get it, I’m not a model, and I appreciate that she wants the photo to come out well. But she was so insanely nit-picky that I just felt like an ugly, incompetent, awkward girl. All I could think about were the photos she showed of the girl earlier. It got to the point where I had my hand rested flat on something, she had me turn it no more than a centimeter! I appreciate help, I don’t wanna look bizzare, but my FI is going to think these photos are sexy no matter what, he won’t be looking to see that maybe my hand was turned funny. I was so distracted by the fact that I seemed to not be doing anything correctly that I was becoming even more self conscious as all the other girls were watching the photog pose me since I couldn’t do it myself.
Throughout the entire shoot, the photog barely engaged me except to constantly pose me. She kept talking to the MA and the hairstylist, and I felt like I was intruding into their space and their conversation if I said something. At one point, I thought the MA was being nice and made a comment about how sparkly my ring looked. I was about to say thank you, but then I realized she wasn’t even talking to me, she was talking to the photog. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. During the entire shoot, the photog kept telling me to relax my face. I don’t know if it was because I was trying to stop my teeth from chattering or trying to stop myself from crying =(
The saddest part of the entire thing? I went to pay her at the end of the shoot and she said I didn’t owe anything. At first I thought that she sensed I had a terrible experience, but then my super sweet friend/bridesmaid looked at me and told me she had already paid for it for me. She told me she wanted me to do something that made me feel gorgeous and sexy and she hoped I had a wonderful time. I started crying at that moment. Not only because she was so sweet to pay for it for me, but because she spent her money on something that I hated so very much. I felt 1000 times more awful knowing that she wanted to do something so nice for me and it went so terribly. And it stinks because I wanted to tell her so badly how much I hated it, but I don’t want to tell her that now that I know she paid for it.
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, sympathy, or something else. I’m almost tempted to find a good photog and reschedule a boudoir shoot just to boost my confidence, because I’m still feeling pretty shitty. But then again, I don’t know that I’d ever want to risk this awful experience ever again.
My very sweet friend/bridesmaid convinced me to do a boudoir shoot. The photog was extremely unprofessional, ignored me the majority of the time, and showed me private photos of another girl’s boudoir shoot to show how “awkward” she was. Then, I had to take my photos in front of several other girls I had never met who were waiting for their photos to be taken. I ended up crying and come to find out, my friend/bridesmaid had paid for the whole thing for me as a surprise.