Post # 1
My sister is such an asshole and SELFISH!! She is driving me crazy!!!!!!1<br />Background: 3 sisters<br />This selfish sister is very well off, lives within 5 minutes of my parents, and has one child. I just don’t know what to do with her anymore. I don’t even know where to start….!!! She has lots of $$$$$$$ but forgot to acknowledge either of my parent’s birthdays (no gift, no card, didn’t even extend a phone call and she lives THREE minutes away), no acknowledgement on father’s day, mother’s day, rarely comes for Easter, Thanksgiving, etc. She and her husband always go with his family on the holidays EVERY TIME. She doesn’t bring her 3 year old daughter to their house…she has been there about twice in her entire life!!! And my parent’s are very good people. She won’t let my parents be any kind of grandparents! The only time when you see her is when she needs a favor or wants presents…and when she is asked to do something, anything minor she refuses. My mother has repeatedly gone to the doctor for stress because she is so devastated by my sister’s behavior and lack of caring to her family. I just don’t get it???
Post # 2
Maybe there’s something else going on between them all. You don’t know the full story and they may never tell you. All you can do is talk to your sister but not in an accusatory or provocative manner otherwise you’ll get nowhere.
Post # 3
oval30: I agree you do not know the whole story unless you are like a fly on the wall all the time. My brother is pretty much the same way.
Sadly that hurts my parents/ his child from a previous relationship and my relationship with him. But in the end that is his life.
Post # 4
This sounds like an issue for your parents to work out with their daughter, and for you to not get in the middle of. You likely don’t know the entire story.
Post # 5
oval30: Your sister’s relationship with your parents is between them. Mabye she has her own reasons for not visiting more often or being closer? Recognize that the relationship you have/want with your parents is not necessarily the same relationship your sister has/wants. It’s up to them to figure it out.
Post # 6
oval30: Yep, sounds like there might be more going on.
While I agree that it is way uncool to only show up when you want something, I don’t think anyone is owed gifts (because she has money) or time (because she lives nearby)… Your sisters first priority is her immediate family, which now consists of her husband and daughter.
Some married couples tend to gravitate more towards one set of inlaws, whichever one they click with best. Looking at my married friends, I’d have to say that applies to most (but not all) of them.
Is there something more to this currently? I imagine there must have been a catalyst for you to write this post.
Post # 7
It’s hard to tell what’s going on here – are you parents very needy and dramatic or is your sister’s behavior truly irrational and without cause? chances are it’s a little of both and the only thing you can really offer in this situation is compassion towards all parties involved. It’s important to realize that your sister is suffering too (most likely) and even if her reason for avoiding your parents is completely illogical and in her head she most likely really truly believes she’s doing what’s best. Your sister probably can’t help acting the way that she does and your mother can’t help feeling victimized and devestated and it’s really hard on everyone involved. If you feel like the situation is effecting your happiness and well being it might be worth considering having a talk with a therapist who may be able to give you more insight into your sister/parents/etc.’s behavior
Post # 8
oval30: You know people, sometimes parents don’t have to do a darn thing for their children to become “assholes”….it just come naturlally!!!….your sister needs need no help, but it sounds like her husband is one also….If he was not as big an asshole as your sister, he would see to it that he fairly split holidays and see to it that his child gets to know his grandparents on his mother’s side!!! He enables her instead of incourage her for HIS own benefit. It’s easier for him because he don’t have to share! Makes it very convenient for him, doesn’t it! I would think, if there is a problem in the family, you would know about it, so I rule that out. I think it comes down to the fact that she’s too big for her briches, and too good for her parents because of her statice….which can disappear in an instant! Please tell your Mother not to frett….love the daughters that love her, and as for you…..love your parents more than you ever thought you could! YOU will never regret it! I want to apologize for any of my spelling errors!
Take care of your lovely parents