- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
My aunt called the other night to let me know she couldn’t make it to our destination wedding. Since she had previously said she would be coming, I was glad for her call and a chance to catch up.
Well, for about half of the conversation (we kept coming back to it), she told me about how she is in so much debt from medical bills, not making as much money for the last 3 years, working on her house, etc, and that’s why she can’t come. Fine, I totally understand. (Though if that’s the case, I don’t know why she would have said yes repeatedly in the first place.) But the part that got me is she was saying, “I thought it (the expense) would just be airfare, and when we got there, housing and food and tours would be provided! Now, I don’t want anyone to have to spend money on me, but I thought that it was all paid for!” Um, what? I have no idea where that came from. From day one, the website had information (and pricing) for lodging nearby, and information (and pricing) on tours we were planning on doing, inviting others to join us. Not to mention the paradox of wanting it to be paid for, but not wanting us to have to pay for her. What?
Then our conversation turned to who all from our family would be attending. When I mentioned my sister had decided not to go (it’s not a money thing, she doesn’t want to leave the country), she changed her tune to, “Well did you consider moving it back to the US?” Um, what? My sister, for whom a nonrefundable plane ticket has been purchased, made that decision a month ago. 1) everything is pretty much paid for already (not to mention everyon else’s plane tickets) and 2) We aren’t going to stop our lives and make special accomodations for her. Part of the deal with a destination wedding is that not everyone can come. It sucks that that includes my sister, but we’ve already planed everything and aren’t going to backpedal.
When I told her that we wouldn’t be moving it back to the US, she said “Well, you have to have a party here (in the US) this summer, then!” Um, no. We told everyone from the beginning that this was it. Future Mother-In-Law is graciously hosting a party next month for those who would like to celebrate with us but can’t make it (will end up being aroun 30 ppl, since most of my family is in a different state and doesn’t want to pay for flight for this, either- including her), but no way in heck are we having 2 weddings. In my personal opinion, if you have a Destination Wedding, that’s it, you don’t get to have it both ways. Not to mention there simply isn’t any money to throw another party this summer! I think she was just upset that she kept kerself delusional for long enough to imagine she would still got to Italy that she doesn’t have time to plan a trip for the party in 2 weeks.
Grrrr. I know I am probably overreacting, but I’m upset that she made me feel guilty for having the wedding we want where we want it. Why do people have to act this way?