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This is your special time with your wedding coming up and you deserve to have a bachelor party you can enjoy. I think it's great that you have enough strength in yourself to know what you want to participate in and are not falling into the pressure to do the "stripclub bachelor party" your brother has suggested. You're not expected to do that and you're not alone in your feelings because a great number of men don't have bachelor parties at stripclubs (I know my guy isn't going to simply because that's not something he wants to be a part of).
Seeing as he is your brother and best friend, I would certainly hope that he would certainly understand and respect your wishes. If not, there's a problem...There's no way you should not be present at your bachelor party and I'm sure no one would want that. You have to let your brother know that you can have a bachelor party both you and your friends and family can truly enjoy. You could all go to a sports game or do a "rugged" outside activity like kayaking or mountain climbing or go paint-balling. Or rent an arcade or bowling alley for your bachelor party. Or you could follow your aforementioned interests and host a video game tournament
That's just off of the top of my head, but you could do anything you want to and have fun! The most important thing is that YOU enjoy yourself with your friends and family and they will certainly enjoy themselves too in return. They love you and it's your bachelor party and that only happens once (hopefully!) So please do something that will make you happy!
I agree with Golden - what about a camping trip or fishing trip? Or a sporting event? Anything you and your friends enjoy!
I agree with the others; it's your party so they should do something you enjoy. I believe my FI's will be attending a game. I've heard of some going to a casino if that's something you enjoy....
I agree also, it's not your bachelor party without YOU. I would let your brother know that you'd enjoy getting together doing something more your style, maybe a low-key dinner out, or even ordering dinner in & just hanging out with your friends.
I think that you need to tell your brother that a strip club is not what you want to be a part of, but you would love to just have a low key thing with the guys. Maybe a poker night and order in pizza? It's not a bachelor party with out YOU in attendance. Have your brother figure out a way to make EVERYONE happy, including you.
I think if your friends are truly your friends, that they will want to plan a bachelor party that includes you and involves things you're interested in. They'd definitely be hurt/upset if you tricked them into skipping your bachelor party.
Why not suggesting alternative party ideas? Do you have a Dave and Buster's anywhere near you (a huge game room/restaurant)? A sports bar where you go to watch your favorite game? One of my fiance's favorite bachelor parties for his friend was at a Padres game! I love the camping/fishing/hiking idea s well. That is what my fiance is planning on doing for his bachelor party at the end of this month.
Nothing says your bachelor party has to include lots of alcohol and strippers.
Let us know what you decide!
It wouldn't be a bachelor party without the groom! While you may not do anything crazy or different then you would normally do with a night out with the guys it is still a chance for you and your freinds to celebrate you upcoming wedding.
I am sure you brother will understand your viewpoint on the strip clubs and can come with alternatives, some of which have already been mentioned. I know several grooms who went on a camping or fishing trip and loved it, what better way is there to decompress from all the wedding stuff then sitting in front of a lake with your guy friends watching the sunset. Or you could do a video game competition and really get your competitive edge going....
I think you should make arrangements that meet your desires and be apart of your bachelor party, I am sure you will be glad that you did!
You shouldn't let ur brother piggy back or take the rein on ur bachelor's party. It's ur bachelor's party and hopefully u only get one chance at celebrating it the way u want to celebrate it. Why do always the other men who will be part of the bachelor's party want to decide how it's going to be celebrated? Don't they have their own will to do whatever they want at their own time?
Anyways, i talked to my fiance last night about bachelor's party since it's such a hot topic here right now. He said he doesn't wanna do the strip club scene coz that's not what he wants. He is going to rent an ice rink and play hockey with his guys. But i asked him what if one of his crazy friends just "abduct" him one night and end up at a strip club, what will he do? He said that he'll get his bestman to pretend that he's the future groom since he doesn't wanna partake in that tradition and he will believe that his "friends" didn't know him at all...
I think that u should put ur foot down and have the party that u wanna have. When ur brother or ur other friends and family celebrate their own bachelor's party, then they can party any way they want to. Don't miss out on ur own bachelor's party!
I think it's great that you're standing up for yourself, but your bachelor party should be about what you want to do, not what your brother wants to do.
Most of the guys in my group of friends who have been married recently didn't go to strippers from their bachelor parties. They went on camping trips, went tubing down a river, golfing, hiking, etc. followed by eating lots of food and playing video games. Everyone of them enjoyed themselves, so I think you should too!
If you really don't mind your brother having a strip club bachelor party without the groom, let him have it, but I think he should also include you in a bachelor party that's actually for you. Even if it's a night of pizza and video games (which is what I think my FI is going to do with my brothers), I think you should get some kind of celebration for you.
What about getting some all inclusive tickets at a baseball game or haggling them down on a good price for a party room? Complete with beer and food and all that good stuff? I guarantee by the time you spend the money on the room, you would have spent that kind of money out and about. But don't skip your bachelor party! you may regret it. If all you want to do is hang out and play video games, maybe have something of that nature at your house? My FI would probably secretly dig a football playstation tournament with beer and pizza and wings at home.
This HAS to be an April Fool's joke. My guy doesn't like strippers either, and has said he will not have them at his Bachelor Party, but you better believe he isn't going to be sitting at home playing video games....
You should make a party where you will enjoy, not what your friends like, it is what you like, so I agree with going fishing or doing any activity that you like.
THe point of the bachelor party is to spend time with your friends before the craziness of the wedding. If I were your brother or friends, I'd be pretty pissed if you skipped the party. That being said, there's a ton of stuff to do that can be an alternative.
Since you mentioned video games, how about finding somewhere with a swanky HD projection TV and doing a Guitar Hero tournament or whatever. Have waitresses coming by with booze for you guys so you don't have to leave your games. Have a prize at the end for whoever wins the tourney.
Then why bother having one if you aren't going to be there. My fiance is going to have golf in the morning with my guy relatives (his fam doesnt golf) and then have a poker night with his guy relatives.
If you would rather stay at home and watch sports then do that. The point is for it to be about you not your brother.
My husband went camping, fishing, and climbed a mountain. We started off the weekend together at a brewpub and ended it together at another one -- no need to drink if you don't want to. But he definitely wanted a burger after hiking!
Just have to comment along the lines of everyone else! It's not a bachelor party without the bachelor in question which is YOU :)
Your brother and friends should understand and do what you would like. As other have suggested a camping/fishing trip, casino, sporting event - a poker night or if you enjoy video games than a Halo party or whatever game floats your boat!
You should spend the night with family and friends, not alone at home. For your brother's bachelor party you can organize and strip club visit and sit it out then!
The party is in your honor, so not only should you be there, but your friends should do whatevery YOU want to do. A lot of brides and grooms don't go wild with their stag parties. My MOH was super stoked to take me out for a wild night, but I let her know that wasn't what I wanted. She's my best friend, so she wasn't surprised. If you're looking for inspiration, here are some things that my male friends have done on their bachelor parties: camping/hiking, going to a music concert, going to a sporting event, getting a big meal at a "guy" restaurant (like BBQ), going out to the bars without getting wasted or going to a strip club, watching a sporting event or playing video games while drinking.
Why don't you suggest to your brother that he throws you a bachelor party with your friends coming over to play video games. Sounds like that's what you want to do. You could set up multiple systems and tvs to play together, etc. Order your favorite take out, set a bar, turn the music up loud, etc. You could tell him it "counts" as a bachelor party because it's the last time you can stay up all night on a weekend drinking and playing games with your buddies without being "nagged by the wife."
I think that's a hilarious solution. If that's what you really want to do, just do it!
But I do agree that it doesn't make much sense. Isn't the whole point of a bachelor party at a strip club (not that I don't think this is degrading to woment, but I'll put that aside) to buy the groom lapdances and embarass the crap out of him? (Can totally understand why you don't want to go, BTW.) So why would they even want to go if you're not there? Just not the same.
If I were you I'd ask your brother to plan something you'd enjoy. A gaming night, a camping trip, dinner out, paintball - whatever it is that you enjoy. The idea of the bachelor party is to have a guys night. Doesn't really work if you're all alone.
Also keep in mind, a bachelor party is not a required event. You don't have to do anything if you don't want to.
According to Mrs. Post Bachelor Parties are not a must. So if you don't want one, you don't have to have one. However, if you would like to celebrate with your boys one night, then I suggest you keep it to things you are comfortable doing. For instnace my friend's husband rented a fishing boat for the afternoon and all the boys went fishing, and then got together for a barbque. My brother in law loves baseball, so they all went to a game. My own FH isn't much for strippers (neither am I), so we are thinking, baseball, paintball, fishing or surfing would suit him just fine. And if what you like is to play videogames, why not invite the boys over for barbque, video games and beer.
But like I said, if this makes you happy, do it.
"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px">This HAS to be an April Fool's joke. My guy doesn't like strippers either, and has said he will not have them at his Bachelor Party, but you better believe he isn't going to be sitting at home playing video games...."
Nope, it's not an April Fool's joke. The more I've thought about it, the more I don't want to go to my bachelor party. My friends are depending on me to give them a night away from their wives/gf's/whoever to go out, get drunk, see naked women, whatever. Personally, I'm not very social so I don't want to hang out with everyone anyway. I'm pretty sure this is the perfect solution. This way, everyone gets what they want. My brother and his friends can have fun and I can enjoy one last night of peace before I'm married. It's a win for everyone!
I still think it's the wrong answer to be dishonest to your friends!
Please consider just having a night out that doesn't involved strippers and alcohol. I think your friends would rather spend time with you and do something you'd want to, and if not--what kind of friends are they? Have a night in and invite them over to play video games, or don't do anything at all. I don't think letting them believe your brother is you is the right thing to do.
I think it's a great idea. You have to figure, that's what MOST all guys wanna do at a bachelor party. So, if they wanna do it, let them go out and have their fun. Most of you guys are different in the sense that they won't even care whether you're there or not. They will be doing what they went to do, have fun.
So, your solution is perfect. They get what they want and so do you.
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My brother is my best friend and he enjoys partying. However, he's very concerned about my bachelor party because I told him there can't be any strippers (nothing against the ladies, I'm just not intestested) and I'm hardcore straight edge. So, since I'm not a party person, I've decided he can just have my party at a strip club or whatever and pretend to be me and hang out with all my friends while I chill at home and play video games. Everyone I've told this to thinks it's wrong, but I don't see how. My solution allows all my friends and family to have fun *and* I get to have fun the way I like it, in peace. Thoughts?