Post # 1
So, if you’ve seen my other post, my dad was just diagnosed with cancer. It’s been such an emotional 2 weeks for my family & I. My dad is in a lot of pain (he has a tumor in his abdomen) and is barely eating or sleeping.
My sis (my MOH) and I decided that it wouldn’t be right for us to go ahead with my Bacherlorette party weekend (it would have been the 1st weekend of June, we were going to stay at a beach house in Ocean City, Maryland). It would be too hard for us to leave my daddy, and we wouldn’t be able to have ‘fun’ with this black cloud looming over us. Good thing that the owners of the beach house rental were understanding, so they are giving us back the $ (not that it would really matter at the end of the day if they didn’t give it back to us).
My wedding will not be postponed because my mom insists that my father would be devastated. I feared that If I postponed it for a later date, that my daddy would not make it =(. Also, at this point I’m not sure how far along his cancer is so I wouldn’t know when to postpone it till.
Anyway, now I have to start thinking about the honeymoon. I have until June 10th to decide on whether or not we want to postpone it. We are supposed to go to St. Lucia for 8 days and stay at 2 hotels there. Both hotels will refund me, if I cancel on/or before 6/10. The air line, jet blue, will charge a $300 penatly, so it’s not so bad. I know that I won’t be able to have a good time having my daddy on my mind. My FI feels that it would be good for us to go, as it will get our minds off of him. I don’t know what to do, I feel guilty thinking about wanting to getaway.
Ok, so that’s my vent, feel free to give me some feedback. Thanks Bee’s.
Post # 3
It doesn’t make you a horrible person to go away for a few days. It is stressful for you too and you deserve a little bit of relaxation.
Post # 4
awww *hugs* i’m so sorry you and your family are going through this, you have to think about what your dad would want you to do, I am sure he wouldnt want you to miss your honeymoon you could always shorten it a few days if you dont want to be gone that long
Post # 5
*HUGS*!! This is a lot to take in for anyone, let alone a bride in waiting. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to continue forward with your plans, and i think your Dad would be crushed if you cancelled things to be with him. However, looking at it from your perspective, I’m just not sure that you could properly enjoy yourself on your honeymoon – knowing what you’re telling us now, it sounds like you are incredibly close with your dad and would only be thinking about him the entire length of the honeymoon. My advice would be to postpone the honeymoon for a later date. My mom had breast cancer while I was away for graduate school, and being away from her was the hardest thing ever, so I remember the feeling. So many best wishes for you and your family during this hard time! 🙁
Post # 6
@OhBeeHive84: I’m so sorry to hear of your news. You seem to be doing the right thing for you and your family though. Thoughts are with you.
Post # 7
Thats awful. My thoughts are with you. If i were in your position i would postpone the honeymoon and spend as much time as i could with my dad. *hugs*
Post # 8
I think you should have fun on your honeymoon and it doesn’t sound like you will if you leave your Dad. Maybe wait and then you’ll still have it to look forward to. I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad.
Post # 9
I have no idea where your dad lives, but it says you are in NYC. Perhaps you and your fiance should go on a honeymoon that is within driving distance so that you have the option of coming home if you feel it is necessary.
I think honeymoons are really important, even if they’re not far away, because it just gives you time to absorb the fact that you are now married. And its good to have a little “fun” time during this difficult phase. BUT I can see how it would be really stressful to go far away and find yourself feeling “trapped” in St. Lucia if all you want is to be near your dad.
So I say go on a honeymoon, but go somewhere nearby and perhaps cut it down to less than 8 days. Heck, you said you had a beach house rented in Ocean City for your bachelorette – maybe you can talk to the owner and rent the house for that week for your honeymoon instead and be a few hours away by car. That way you can have your alone time, but if you just cant handle it, you can come back home.
You can always go to the Caribbean another time.
Post # 10
Sorry your family is going through such a tough time.
I agree with @Ginger123: take a honeymoon, but be in driving distance. Getting away, even for a few days, after such a momentus occasion and life transition will be very important. Maybe you can go to the FingerLakes or Niagra Falls or even Canada for 4-5 days.
Post # 11
I really appreciate all the feedback. My FI and I are going to talk it over this weekend and decide how we will proceed.
I do like the idea of driving somehwere nearby..my Fi has always wanted to go to Niagra Falls–that does sound like a wonderful idea!
Thanks again Bee’s and please put my daddy in your prayers. We are praying that the cancer is in its early stages.
Post # 12
@pengoala: Yup, me and my dad are really close =) I’m his ‘little’ girl =)
Post # 13
I would definately still take a vacation, it would be good for you to get away and I’m sure your dad would want you to go. Just be close enough that you can drive back if god forbid his state really takes a turn for the worst. Your and your family are in my prayers.
Post # 14
If your dad is in the hospital, on or before your flight leaves ( a few days, possly even a week) they will wave your change of flight fee. Meaning you can cancel and rebook without penalty, however, you flight may cost more becuase of short notice rebooking. They will call the hospital for verification.
Post # 15
Maybe you can reduce the length of the honeymoon and still go? I think going would be good for you, but only if your mind can actually “go” and not be worrying about things at home the entire time.
Perhaps if he’s just been diagnosed, doctors will have a better handle on his pain management within the next few weeks, and it won’t be so hard on you.
Post # 16
I understand where you are coming from, I actually had a similiar situation years ago. You need to do what’s right for “you”. You will know the right decision, just go with your gut. Close-by driving trip may be great for you, St. Lucia will always be there.
Best of luck to your Dad, hang in there.