- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Hi bees, if you dont have alot of time the coles notes version is at the end of my long description.
I have had a friend”V” for a very long time, since we were in girl guides together as kids. At times we have been really close and at other times we have been vvery distant, always due to silly fights throughout school and what not.
I went away to university and we grew a bit distant, mainly because she stayed back for school and i moved about an hour away and was looking for new experiences. We chatted a bit but even as summers came, we only saw eachother once in a while, but when we did talk it picked right back up and we would consider eachother best friends.
A few rocky things happened, like i was in an abusive relationship during university and she completely was not there for me during or after. But she apologised. She would always come to me with problems about school, dropping out, changing schools, etc. but would never talk to me about good things or ask me how i was.
I began feeling frustrated and not wanting to put an effort in (even to this day) because she would always ask my advice and then not take it and then come back for advice again. I felt like I meant nothing. I was there for her through hard situations but she checked out on me.
There have been a few times where I calmly talked to her about this, but she turned it around on me… just immaturity on her part, always!It makes me feel like I am in highschool again even thinking about this
The straw that broke the camels back
So there has been a silly arguement going on between her and my SOs best friend for a very long time, about 2 years. It is because she has feelings for him, never told him, then he dating someone else not knowing! It is completely V’s fault that she didnt tell anyone or him how she felt, he cannot be punished for that. BUT I supported her and helped her.. but 2 years later she still wont even come to events where he is. We all share a friends group so it makes things very very hard.
She has told me that she envies my SOs relationship and only complains about how she cant find anyone as good as my SO and she completely thinks that she will be a bridesmaid.. although she never wants to make plans, acts like she is in highschool, and doesnt support my relationship due to jealousy.
What do I do? How do I move forward.. I am getting engaged any second and need to chose a wedding party, and there are a few other girls who I dont have to work for and dont have to watch what I say.
If I do not pick her, V will be crushed and we would probably never be friends because I would never be forgiven, but if I do, she might be bratty and selfish, and also my SO will have his best friend in the wedding party also.. I cant chaperone my wedding party.. not happening.
Suggestions? thoughts?This is tearing me up because I dont know whats best and I dont want to hurt her but I also cannot talk to her rationally OR deal with the drama on MY day
Best friend from school never grew up and is immature and selfish. She does not apprciate my friendship and has an ongoing issue with my SO’s best friend because he had feelings for him that he never returned (or led her on) . She is a terrible friend but calls me her best friend and I feel obligated because of the length of our friendship and the way she sees things to make her a bridesmaid… but I can just SEE all the problems and I dont want to deal with them. She has openly said she is jealous of my relationship and I just dont know how to proceed. I will be engaged within 3 months..
Side note: my MOH-to-be and my mother both support me not having V in the wedding party because they see how much stress she causes me
thanks for reading !!!