My Best Friend Has Become So Judgemental!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Songbird29:  I think this part sums it up quite well:

 

“36, married and pregnant”

“36, single”

She’s envious. 

Post # 4
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Songbird29:  Let her know that it’s not okay for her to criticize your husband, or how you’re handling your pregnancy. She’s neither married nor a parent, and even if she were, she wouldn’t have exactly the same marriage/husband/pregnancy/children that you do. Or just sarcastically say “Wow, I didn’t know you were a doctor/marriage counselor/expert on XYZ” every time she starts up with her negativitiy towards you. But definitely wait until she says something, and not when you see it on her face. If she just pulls a face, you can’t say for certain what she’s thinking.

If she keeps up with the negativity, then maybe she’s just not your best friend anymore.

Post # 5
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

She’s your best friend and you guys are in your mid-thirties.

There is zero reason why the two of you can’t actually talk about this.  You should bring it up.  I wouldn’t hesitate to say “Hey, you’re hurting me and I don’t understand why you’re being like this.”

 

Post # 6
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@FleeSircus:  + a million!

And I wouldn’t automatically jump on the “she’s 35+, single, and jealous” train either.

Post # 7
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think maybe you should try to talk to her. she shouldn’t be putting you down like that. she should be supporting you. I think she also might be a little envious of the whole happily married with a baby on the way.

Post # 8
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

You are pregnant, hormones. You may be taking everything offensively.  You are both adults.  Talk about it instead of getting mad.  Sounds petty. Everyone is judgmental and is opinionated.  If she isn’t experienced with pregnancy, as you are right now, then she has no reason to say anything AND you have no reason to get upset by her comments.  Just shrug it off.  Petty.

Post # 9
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@flowercrowns:  I jumped on that train because I am 37 and the majority of my friends are 34+ so I’ve seen plenty of envy (whether light hearted ‘I’m so jealous!!’ type stuff or actual negative envy because they are not in the same situation). Maybe she isn’t envious but I think it should be considered. 

Post # 10
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

She’s jealous.

And sounds like a total bitch, which probably explains why she’s single.

Post # 12
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Excalibur

I wouldn’t say she’s jealous. Not everyone loves kids and yearns to be pregnant. She’s your friend, had an honest conversation with her!

Post # 14
Hostess
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Songbird29:  this is a bit off topic, but why the stress about coke or coffee? That’s outdated. You can have up to two hundred milligrams a day before negative effects kick in. I don’t recommend hitting 200 every day, but you could drink a small coffee literally every day if you want. I’d be a bit worried about the chemicals in coke Nd try to limit that, but don’t let other people bully you mahout your pregnancy, especially when you’re doing nothing wrong.

Post # 15
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Songbird29:  You’re in a spot right now that can be really difficult.  See if you can find a time to sit down and have a coffee with her.  

As for the caffine/sugar when you’re pregnant, the occational one will not be the end of the world.  Daily, probably a bad idea, sometimes, no biggie.  As for emotions when pregnant, every trimester will be different.  I was super touchy on the third one with both of my kids.  However!  Every one is different with this, and on top of that every pregnancy is different.  Fun right?

Finally, is there a chance that you worry about loosing this friendship, which then affects the things you see around you?

Post # 16
Member
4218 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe she wants to talk about something other than the fact that you’re pregnant. 

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