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It is kinda weird. But...it's her wedding. If that's what she wants, then I would say let her be. Part of being an MOH is to be supportive of the bride. So I wouldn't push the issue with her.
I agree it's weird. But since you still outrank this random girl, you shouldn't feel like it cheapens you and your relationship. I agree it's kind of shallow of your friend to care more about even numbers than about the relationships that her wedding party is supposed to represent. Is it a gigantic party? Also, I find it hard to believe that she had no one closer to her than a "friend's friend" to be a bridesmaid!
I was a "random girl" in a wedding a few years ago. I met the bride once and a few days later she asked me to be in her wedding. Throughout all of the showers and parties, I became good friends with all of the girls and we still keep in touch. The only part that I wasn't happy with was the $250 dress I had to buy!
No, its a tiny wedding party. Originally it was me and her sister. She is a very shy person and doesnt have many close friends...I haven't told her anything about it (although I want to lol) But I guess I just cant get passed the thought of a "friend of a friend" in her wedding.
Ill get over it, like marjojo said, I feel like it "cheapens" our relationship...:(
I agree that it sounds strange to add someone just to even the numbers, but remember we all have our ideas about how our wedding should look/feel/be like.
I hope that this "friend of a friend" works out okay and hopefully you both can build some sort of a relationship with her. Try not to think of it as cheapening the relationship. Your friend is just a little hung up things that shouldn't matter, but try your best to move past this...you're MOH! Be excited! :)
I totally understand! I feel like some of my friends will be like "why is so and so in the party? I've never heard KM talk about her!"... it'll be a little bit weird, cause my friends here are so different than my friends at home!
That just seems strange. Where does she sorta-know this person from? Is it someone her FI knows? Or someone that another person she knows pressured her to add?
You said she's shy...maybe this is a person she hopes to get to know better.
I mean, there are people we know from like high school and middle school and people we grew up with, but I guess she just didnt want them in her wedding. Its such a weird situation...its kinda hard to grasp it without knowing the whole deal I guess.
@banabagirl- its one of her friends from colleges friends. lol I hope that makes sense!
Well HoneyBear I see where you're coming from, but honestly she might be under alot of family pressure to "Even it Out" and she's probably feeling insecure that she didn't have anyone else to ask, so I wouldn't let it get to you. But I definitely understand where you're coming from.
I would just try your best to be friends with this girl - if you feel weird about it, imagine how she must feel, not knowing the 18+ years friends. I would never agree to something like that, but that's because I have a lot of girl friends and am not shy, you know? I think it's an odd choice, but it's been set, so like ILuvDance said, she may end up being a friend of yours too!
I think a lot of girls get upset about not having enough girlfriends to ask to be bridesmaids. They feel like friends and family will look down at them for "not having any friends." So asking a random person might look like a sensible solution for a bride who is freaking out about looking bad in front of all her guests.
That is weird, but you should probably keep your feelings to yourself. I had a huge falling out with most of my friends from college (long story, involves an ex-bf) and as a result only have a few friends close enough to be BM's. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of girlfriends, just only a couple that I feel 'that' close to. It is kind of a sensitive subject for me and I appreciate that people don't ask me about it or bring it up. I am happy with only having 5 while FI has 7 though, it totally doesn't matter that the #'s are uneven..
I understand completely how you feel. Sorry this sucks. :-(
My BFF was going to ask two of her FI's cousins to be in the WP. Yes, I realize not as random as your situation but they've been together for 6 years and we've been friends for 18 years and yet, I've never heard of these girls. I actually managed to talk her out of them and I guess the WP sides won't be even now. However, I was very upset and also about the fact that I felt she wasn't 'honoring' me enough. I know, totally bridemaid-zillaish. This has changed now though.
I had felt I earned it as well since my best friend is a pathological liar and has basically been lying to me since we met. In addition, she made a lot of rude comments about my shower/bachelorette party/wedding. Technically, I don't even 'know' about these comments though.
@girlwitharing - I totally get it. I have two girlfriends and they do not get along at all. Well, rather the second one does not like my BFF, from above, because of comments she made about my shower and wedding. My husband has no male friends either (well no friends at all really) because we cut ties with his friends due to problems. Having a WP was a huge stress factor for me so we chose to have both of our moms stand up.
My advice is to forget what your friend is doing, it is her wedding after all. Just remember that you've always been there for me and been the best friend that you can and, in the end, you should feel good about yourself. Good luck with this! :-)
I find that so very weird. Isn't your wedding party supposed to be people close to you? I think so many people are worried about what other people think these days and allowing their weddings to become more of a show than what it is supposed to be about.
We have one more groomsman than bridesmaid and I could care less. I am just sending one of my lovely ladies down the aisle with 2 men on her arm.
I cannot imagine having a random person in my wedding just to be "even."
IDK -It's probably not what I would have done, but I would really let it go. At first, I thought your vent was going to be that she asked this random girl to be a BM, and you're not even in the party.
You said she doesn't make friends easily. So I think she probably wanted a larger BP but didn't know how to get there. Maybe the even party thing was a convenient excuse to use in having more maids. Maybe she just wanted more maids.
Also, are you sure you have the whole scoop?
It's odd but I would let it go. Frankly, I am amazed at the number of posts about whether or not to "disinvite" members of the wedding party for various reasons. I feel like you should be close enough to the people you ask to stand beside you on your wedding day that there shouldn't be that many surprises. My maids are relatives and close friends that have supported me for many years. I know there isn't a chance of me looking back at pictures from my wedding and wondering what ever happened to bridesmaid x because I expect these people to still be in my life. But the point is, everyone looks at it differently and if even numbers are more important to your BF then it's probably easiest to just let it go.
It sounds as though your friend might have made an impulsive decision? (Planning a wedding is reallyreally stressful and who among us hasn't made at least one choice that, in retrospect, wasn't the best as a result of real or perceived pressure to do it "right?")
Regardless of why she chose this girl, though, it hasn't got a thing to do with you or how your friend perceives your relationship. You're clearly the most important person in her life, or you wouldn't be her MOH.
I think it's stranger that the random person is willing to be in her wedding. I would never buy a bridesmaids dress and take on all the extra costs of being in a wedding for someone I didn't know very well.
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OK this is vent.... My best friend wanted her fiances wedding party and her wedding party to be even and so she asked one of her friends from college (which i dont have a problem with) and one of her friends, friends to be in her wedding.
So, now there is a random girl that she sota knows in her wedding... I was like...well how do you feel about a girl you dont know being in your wedding? and all she said was that she wanted the wedding parties to be even,
I know its not my wedding, but i almost feel upset that she is "letting'' this girl in her wedding because i feel like I have "earned" it for lack of a better word. I have been her best friend for 18 years and I am her MOH, but i just think it will be weird to have some random girl neither one of us really know with us when we get our hair and makeup done and trying to keep conversation with her when we should be bonding before her wedding (sorry, longest sentence ever)
I guess I am just sad that being in her wedding means nothing more to her than "making it even wedding parties" or maybe I'm just being a brat....but this seems really weird to me!
Thanks for listening.