Weddingbee boards

Ok, so here's my situation:

I grew up close to this girl... we'll call her Tina for the story's sake.  Tina is 5 years older than me, which currently makes her 30 and myself 25.  We were never in the same grade but Tina babysat my sister and I when we were young because she lived just a few houses away.  As we became teenagers, she became like a close older sister to me.

Anyways, Tina eventually met this guy named Doug.  Doug and Tina dated for about a year and then became engaged.  They are getting married in January.  Since I hung out with Tina, I met a friend of her fiance's who I am currently dating.  He's a great guy; Tina's guy Doug is not.  This is why...

Last Saturday night both Tina and Doug were having their bachelorette parties.  I was in Tina's.  Tina told Doug before either of them left for their respective parties that he couldn't go to a strip club.  My boyfriend, Doug's friend whom he grew up with, was also in Doug's party that night.  Doug said ok to Tina and we all split up.  At about 8:00 Tina had a little to drink and decided to go to the same bar where she knew her fiance would be at to "check up on him".  She also wanted us to act like it was one of our ideas to go to the same bar she thought he was at, as if it were coincidence.  We showed up at the bar, and Doug's party was there as well.  Tina talked a bit with Doug and Doug asked again if he could go to a strip club (I learned later from my boyfriend that they were all going to take him anyways) and Tina hesitantly said yes.  Doug's party left for another bar and Tina came back to us upset; she felt that the 10 buddies around her fiance were pressuring her and she didn't want to make a scene about Doug going to a strip club.  He also asked if he could have a lap dance and she had regretfully said yes to that too (while he asked this all his buddies were standing around listening).

We ended the night, but not before Tina called Doug one last time around midnight when she knew he'd be at the strip club.  She was somewhat drunk by that point, so she told him how upset she was that he was there and how she didn't really want him to go but all his buddies were standing around and she felt pressured.  He never answered the phone and she didn't hear from him until the next morning.

My boyfriend came home the next day too.  I told him straight up before he went that he was not to get lap dances.  He swore he didn't, but Doug did.  In fact, Doug got 3 public lap dances and 4 private dances.  He went on to tell me that Doug sucked on one of the stripper's nipples in the private room and then she grabbed his hand and stuck it up her vajayjay because she was "wet from the idea that she would be the last woman he was with".  That's all he told me about, but I wonder if there is more.

I am so sick for both of us now.  My boyfriend swore I couldn't tell anyone, even before he told me.  I want to tell Tina because I'm sure she had no idea that a "Lap Dance" meant her fiance was going to suck on a stripper's breasts and finger F*** her.  I don't know what to do.  Should I tell her?  If I tell her she could possibly call off the wedding, and everyone would blame me.  I would also possibly permanantly damage my relationship with my boyfriend as he is friends with Doug.  Doug isn't telling her, because I saw her today and she seemed cheerful about the upcoming wedding.  We always tell each other everything.  The other guys in the bachelor party said something that night after Doug's private dances about her age.  It was something like, "Well, she's 30 and Doug's 25.  Even if she found out, she wouldn't leave.  She's too old to make a move like that."

What should I do?  I don't want to lose my boyfriend or lose his trust in me, which is my biggest fear.  Should I say nothing to her?

@lefeymw: This is what I forsee happening.  You're right, I wasn't there.  My boyfriend said he did suck on her boobs without her encouraging him, but she put his hand there.  Tina could either call off the wedding or make up with him after a big blow up argument.  I also know what happens after... I lose Tina as a friend.  They will both see me as the tattle tale and Tina will be uncomfortable I put her in that situation.  She will become distant with me and eventually I'll lose her as a friend altogether.  I've had something like this happen to me already.

I know many of you want me to tell, but I don't know if that is my place.  I wasn't there, I just heard it from a 'little bird', so to speak.

At the same time, everytime I see her I feel sooo bad and guilty for her, like I did it.  I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling this guilt and pretending everything is fine.  I wish I was never put in this situation and I wish my boyfriend never told me.  I already outlined that what Doug did will never under any circumstance be ok with me.

It just makes you wonder what guys do when they say they "just had a lapdance".

@roxy821: I live in Missouri.

@angiexox: Some of the guys in the bachelor party paid for one of his private room dances and supposedly (according to my bf) he came out after and told them all about it.  He was definitely drunk when he blurted it out.  Touching strippers is against the rules in some states, not others.  Also, it can still happen unoffically if it is in private and security doesn't see it happen.

I remember that episode with the Jersey Shore.  Sammi turned on the note writers and stayed with Ronnie because she was desperate to keep him.  She sided with Ronnie even though Snooki and JWOWW were trying to tell her the truth of what Ronnie did.

@TinyTina: She will side with him and turn on me because she doesn't want to lose him.  She is very attached to him.  I can't see this turning out good for me.

@lefeymw: I totally agree with what you said.

@lefeymw: cheating, not maybe, yes.