Post # 1
My SO and I were watching tv the other night when out of the blue he says “I gave myself a bj before”. What???? I looked at him with pure disgust I’m sure because he said that he thought he could tell me anything. When I got my thoughts together I asked if he was joking and he said no and that it was a long time ago. I asked if he had made it to the “finale” and he said yes. I dropped the discussion right then and there and continued watching tv while feeling sick to my stomach.
I’m trying very hard not to be disgusted by that but I can’t shake that icky feeling. I suppose if more people were that flexible there’d be a lot more of that going on out there but I’m still having a hard time with this. The thought of him doing that TO HIMSELF is something I can’t get out of my head. I want to say it’s in the past and be ok with it. I’m just wondering how many times he did it and if he still does but am scared I’ll really embarrass him if I ask.
We have a very healthy, kinky sex life which is probably why he felt he could tell me this. I haven’t brought it up since he told me and I’ve been acting normal even though I’m really bothered on the inside. I would hate to embarrass him or make him feel ashamed. I love him and don’t want him to think I’m judging him…I’m not. I’m just in shock I guess because I’ve never been told anything like that before or even thought it was possible.
How can I get over this feeling without embarrassing him or making him feel ashamed? I know I’m just in shock and a little disgusted right now but am hoping it goes away soon. FYI: we are to the stage in our relationship that we are shopping for engagement rings and love each other very much. I know this is in his past and can get past it…just how do I get rid of this disgusted feeling?
Sorry if this was too graphic and long!
Post # 3
Is that even physically possible for a male?
ETA: Because I was curious and google is awesome, it seems like it is possible if the lower part of the ribcage is removed OR if your boyfriend is super huge and super flexible. Either way….it’s crazy. Did he spit or swallow? I wouldn’t believe him unless he showed you that he could do it.
Post # 4
apparently it is :S
if they’re big enough and flexible enough they could manage it if they wanted to 😛
Post # 5
Seriously, didn’t know that was possible. I guess it isn’t any different than manual masturbation, though.
Post # 6
@Miss Tattoo: Yep, I wondered if it was possible too. I researched and found out it is. I have heard stories of how Marilyn Manson had ribs removed to do it but other than that, had no idea men did it.
Post # 7
I had an ex who could reach it, not all of it, but he said he would never do it. Hmmm…now I wonder if he did LOL
Post # 8
Well, I was not expecting that when I opened this thread. Honestly, I didn’t even think that was possible without removing a few ribs.
Anyways, I don’t have any advice for you but I hope everything works out.
Post # 9
@mwitter80:psh, he had to have at least tried, otherwise how did he know?
Post # 10
I can’t believe this is even possible.
I’m sorry, I have no advice for you because I would have the same sick to my stomach
Post # 11
I had heard it was possible, but outside of rumors, had never heard of anyone who actually had done it.
My first reaction is that every guy would do it if they could. If my husband had told me he’d done it in the past, I’d have asked him to show me…partly because I’d not believe he was that flexible and partly just because I’d want to see. It would not bother me at all…to me, it’s not much different than a guy using his hand to do the same thing…and I like to watch him do that.
But it does bother you. I suppose you can either just tell yourself that it is something in his past that won’t happen again and treat it like anything else he’s done in the past you aren’t thrilled with (i.e., like ex-gfs). He did say he only did it once; it isn’t like he made a habit of it. Apparently, since he never tried it a second time, he didn’t like it all that much either, so I doubt it’s going to be an issue. Eventually, with time, the thought will fade.
Or maybe you could try to to change the way you see it. It was really just another method of masturbation for him. And it sounds like he was just doing it to see if it was possible? Maybe just chalk it up to youthful indiscretion and focus more on the fact that he has so much trust in you that he felt comfortable telling you his most embarassing secret. That is what I’d think about. The trust he has for you and what that says about the bond you two have.
Post # 12
wow… I wouldnt know how to react to this
Post # 13
@Helenberrycrunch: I was thinking the same thing!
@OP: I find it strange that you would be watching tv and out of nowhere he drops that bomb on you. “hey hunny, btw did I mention that I’ve given myself a blowy? Pass the popcorn.”. Weird.
Post # 14
@Neva: You are very right! I guess having never been told anything like that before is a little more difficult to get out of my mind! I know in time it will go away. Just a new experience for me!
Post # 15
@Neva: I agree with you.
It’s probably hard to get over the visual and everything, so I don’t blame you for being disgusted, but it sounds like he only tried it once and was pretty disgusted with himself, so maybe try and get it out of your head.
Post # 16
i honestly have no idea what to say to this, you obviously are having a hard time with this, so maybe because he felt comfortable enough to tell you, you need to be comfortable telling him how you feel. take time to figure out what you want to say, then talk to him. I think the only way that you are going to embarass him is if you totally freak out on him