Post # 1
Hi bees! this is my first post in here,but have been watching threads here for monthns.so my bf and have been together for almost 6 years now(on25th december its our 6 anniversary).I live in america.iam from a a country in balkan and due to some tradition we havent meet each others famili,we have to do this when we will decide to get engaged(I am going to write another post about this).I am 23 and in july finished the 3 year of business administration university,with a bachelor degree,and my uni si doing the ceremony on the beggining of november.I called my bf to tell this exitement news and he told m that he ddnt want to come.he find this things boring,he wasn’t at his own graduation ceremony(he is 24,and studies sport) he like this kind of stuff etc,I was hurt,first of I will have there only my mom and dad.my big sister has just gone in london with her husband,my best friend studies in italy,my other friends mke it to graduate on time,so basically i am alone(besides my parents that loooveee vry much) i started to tell him that this is very important to me ,that he should be that he should be there with flowers supporting me…I dont know what to do,he is that type of guy that really doesnt like this kind of stuff but he has to do it for me right?he told me that he would give me a ride (I dont have a car) and that he will wait outside until the ceremony finishes i dont want him outside want him inside
I am very upset …..
Post # 3
I am sorry to hear this! It doesn’t seem like your BF finds the ceremony as important as you do. If you tell him how important it is to you, maybe he will look past it being too boring for him.
Post # 4
@clayandannie: If he hasn’t met your parents yet, then I don’t think your graduation should be the time he meets them.
Post # 5
I would be SO upset if DH didn’t want to go to my college graduation!
If he’s unwilling to attend a two-hour ceremony for you, what else is he going to be unwilling to compromise on?
Post # 6
@paula1248: i know why some of the words hasnt shown.I meant i dont live in americca but in europe in mediterraian.it was not my purpose for him o meet my parents.he could stay in another spot and he wont meet my dad(cuz he has met my mom already) he could just get another spot…
Sorry for my bad english
Post # 7
@BrandNewBride: yes why i am really upset about this,and i am not trying to beg him or convince him cuz this is something he should voluntary do,he has to feel it and do understand that this is important for m
Post # 8
@clayandannie: In good relationships, partners usually do these nice small things for each other because it makes the other person feel good – and with such little effort this could be! How simple for him to just to your big event (if it’s important to you then that should be all that matters!), such an easy way to show love and support. He doesn’t even have to meet your parents when he is there. Sure you might have to divide your time (see your parents, send them off, then find your BF). to say right off the bat the are boring and refuses is just being a poor partner. Of course they are boring! It’s not a freaking movie! But it’s a huge event in your life.
My then fiance went and he recorded it with the camera. I was so happy he did because, my parents could not fly out (my dad was dying of cancer) and I was able to share this video with them 2 weeks before my dad died. I was so proud.
Post # 9
@clayandannie: I would be upset too! No one finds these incredibly interesting. They are boring!! But the 10 seconds they say your name and you walk across the stage and have your friends and fmaily cheer makes it all worth it.
I almost didn’t go to mine, but my BF even paid for my graduation package and told me i needed to go and celebrate my hard work. He rushed straight from work and didn’t have time to get me flowers or anything, but having him there was the best.
I really hope your BF changes his mind. He is being a little selfish and should be there to support you.
Post # 10
@clayandannie: I would be really upset if I was you! You worked hard to graduate, and now he doesnt want to come and support you at your graduation? Not OK! I think graduations ceremonys are really boring, and so do most people I know, but most people I know still go to them to support their loved ones. I’d tell him that this small thing would mean the world to you and show that he’s proud of your accomplishment. Would you continue with the relationship if he didnt attend? I’d have trouble dating someone who didnt show support for me when I accomplish a major goal!
Post # 11
I would be very upset, Your bf cares more about himself than doing something nice for you.
Post # 12
Now let me ask you this. Does he have ADHD? If he does then I would understand him not going to the ceremony. I have ADHD and when my sister was thinking about walking on stage my thought was I wanted to not go because it’s sitting there for two hours and I don’t know if I would be able to sit still and not move around for a couple hours. So I get see both views if he couldn’t move around And had to sit still.
Post # 13
Well I think it’s bunk to say it’s ok for him to skip it if he has ADHD. He can wander around, bring a book or tablet until the time of OP’s appearance is closer.
I don’t really like cleaning the shitstains out of the toilet, ya know? But I do it because that is what we sign up for in a long-term, loving committed relationship. It’s not all about ourselves and only doing the things we want to do or that we find enjoyable. I guess he doesn’t plan on ever going to any of your children’s concerts, recitals or sports games either then, huh?
Yeesh. You worked long and hard for this and it is unbelievable that he would go so far as to *drop you off and sit in the car until you’re done*. Sad. Very sad. I’d be seriously questioning whether I wanted to share a life with a guy who doesn’t wnat to share even my biggest accomplishments with me.
Post # 14
@clayandannie: I would be very upset if my SO didn’t attend my graduation!
SO didn’t attend his own graduation either. BUT, I decided to walk, my family, my brother and his (then) FI all came out to support me. I would have been VERY upset if my SO didn’t go to my graduation!! Is it boring? YEP! But is it important to you? YEP. He should be able to do more than just drive you there!
I’m sorry to hear about this!!
Post # 15
he is that type of guy that really doesnt like this kind of stuff but he has to do it for me right?
No, he doesn’t have to do anything for you.
But he has every right to say “No, I don’t want to go.” you can explain it’s important to you, but if he still rebuffs it then obviously it isn’t important to him.
If you don’t like it, count it as a red flag or a warning sign.
My graduation ceremony was about 4 hours, and they read every. single. name. Everyone walked up and was handed a diploma. There were 2,000 graduates that year. My group was called first, and then we had to sit through the remaining 3.5 hours, just waiting.
Post # 16
@Ap2010: No he doesn’t have an ADHD….he is studying all kind of sports and is very athletic person…..I do am really really upset about this,I talked to him today with him,Cuz yesterday we just talked in the phone,I told him how imoppirtant this is for me,and he agreed on coming but asked me if he could bring a friend so he won’t be sitting alone there,I said OK.I m not happy that he agreed in this way,its like something he is doing just because…..I will keep you guys update on how the ceremony will go when the date is set.thank you so much for all your word…I am not doubting his love for me just because of that…and I do mention him the fact for our children’s concerts and stuff…he kept saying I was right…