my bf doesn't want to come on my graduation ceremony

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I am sorry to hear this! It doesn’t seem like your BF finds the ceremony as important as you do.  If you tell him how important it is to you, maybe he will look past it being too boring for him. 

Post # 4
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@clayandannie:  If he hasn’t met your parents yet, then I don’t think your graduation should be the time he meets them.

Post # 5
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would be SO upset if DH didn’t want to go to my college graduation!

If he’s unwilling to attend a two-hour ceremony for you, what else is he going to be unwilling to compromise on?

Post # 8
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@clayandannie:  In good relationships, partners usually do these nice small things for each other because it makes the other person feel good – and with such little effort this could be!  How simple for him to just to your big event (if it’s important to you then that should be all that matters!), such an easy way to show love and support.  He doesn’t even have to meet your parents when he is there.  Sure you might have to divide your time (see your parents, send them off, then find your BF). to say right off the bat the are boring and refuses is just being a poor partner.  Of course they are boring!  It’s not a freaking movie!  But it’s a huge event in your life. 


My then fiance went and he recorded it with the camera.  I was so happy he did because, my parents could not fly out (my dad was dying of cancer) and I was able to share this video with them 2 weeks before my dad died.  I was so proud.

Post # 9
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

@clayandannie:  I would be upset too! No one finds these incredibly interesting. They are boring!! But the 10 seconds they say your name and you walk across the stage and have your friends and fmaily cheer makes it all worth it.

I almost didn’t go to mine, but my BF even paid for my graduation package and told me i needed to go and celebrate my hard work. He rushed straight from work and didn’t have time to get me flowers or anything, but having him there was the best.

I really hope your BF changes his mind. He is being a little selfish and should be there to support you.

Post # 10
1634 posts
Bumble bee

@clayandannie:  I would be really upset if I was you! You worked hard to graduate, and now he doesnt want to come and support you at your graduation? Not OK! I think graduations ceremonys are really boring, and so do most people I know, but most people I know still go to them to support their loved ones. I’d tell him that this small thing would mean the world to you and show that he’s proud of your accomplishment. Would you continue with the relationship if he didnt attend? I’d have trouble dating someone who didnt show support for me when I accomplish a major goal!

Post # 11
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would be very upset,  Your bf cares more about himself than doing something nice for you. 

Post # 12
906 posts
Busy bee

Now let me ask you this. Does he have ADHD? If he does then I would understand him not going to the ceremony. I have ADHD and when my sister was thinking about walking on stage my thought was I wanted to not go because it’s sitting there for two hours and I don’t know if I would be able to sit still and not move around for a couple hours. So I get see both views if he couldn’t move around And had to sit still. 

Post # 13
876 posts
Busy bee

Well I think it’s bunk to say it’s ok for him to skip it if he has ADHD. He can wander around, bring a book or tablet until the time of OP’s appearance is closer.

I don’t really like cleaning the shitstains out of the toilet, ya know? But I do it because that is what we sign up for in a long-term, loving committed relationship. It’s not all about ourselves and only doing the things we want to do or that we find enjoyable. I guess he doesn’t plan on ever going to any of your children’s concerts, recitals or sports games either then, huh?

Yeesh. You worked long and hard for this and it is unbelievable that he would go so far as to *drop you off and sit in the car until you’re done*. Sad. Very sad. I’d be seriously questioning whether I wanted to share a life with a guy who doesn’t wnat to share even my biggest accomplishments with me.

Post # 14
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@clayandannie:  I would be very upset if my SO didn’t attend my graduation!

SO didn’t attend his own graduation either.  BUT, I decided to walk, my family, my brother and his (then) FI all came out to support me.  I would have been VERY upset if my SO didn’t go to my graduation!!  Is it boring?  YEP! But is it important to you?  YEP.  He should be able to do more than just drive you there! 

I’m sorry to hear about this!! 

Post # 15
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

he  is that type of guy that really  doesnt like this kind of stuff  but he has to do it for me right?

No, he doesn’t have to do anything for you.
But he has every right to say “No, I don’t want to go.” you can explain it’s important to you, but if he still rebuffs it then obviously it isn’t important to him.
If you don’t like it, count it as a red flag or a warning sign.

My graduation ceremony was about 4 hours, and they read every. single. name. Everyone walked up and was handed a diploma. There were 2,000 graduates that year. My group was called first, and then we had to sit through the remaining 3.5 hours, just waiting.

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