Post # 1
we are in our early 30s. Both have good jobs and making good money. We’ve been together almost two years and moved in together about 6 months ago. He’s given me all the hints in the world about wanting to get me a ring, get married, have kids, getting old together and that sort. This all started about 3-4 mths ago and still no ring yet. I am depressed because everyone around us – family and friends – keep asking. My birthday was just a few days ago and there was no proposal then. I’m starting to feel he’s all talk and not a real deal. This is also because he still plans stuff just for himself and not planning things like we have a life together.. i do sometimes feel that he is not the one although he shows in a lot of things he loves me very much. it is the big things that he doesnt initiate that makes me feel like i want to leave this relationship. What should I do?
Post # 3
Be patient. It’s been 18 months with no proposal since he asked my Dad for his blessing. Also, discuss a timeline. Communicatiion is key to getting on the same page. Good luck and welcome to the hive 🙂
Post # 4
What you should do depends on some things.
Do you want to have children with this man?
Post # 5
@EffieTrinket: I do. I can definitely see him as a loving and responsible husband and father.
Post # 6
I would wait longer. Try Mr. Bee’s plan and just don’t talk about it. Do things for you. I’m sorry your family is asking out about it so much, but guys take awhile to propose for various reasons. If he’s hinting at it being soon, just be patient.
Post # 7
First and foremost…
I see that this is your premier posting on WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “The Hive”
It sounds like you “casually” talk about the future from time to time.
But is that enough ?
In your situation at over 30 and wanting kids, probably not.
Men don’t think like women… because they don’t hear “their biological clock ticking” they can technically father children their whole lives so they just don’t get the urgency…
They feel like “someday” getting married is just that… SOMEDAY in the future
IF you really want to marry him (and your post seems to wobble a bit on that front) then you need to tell him so
The next time “the future / someday” comes up casually in conversation, you need to initiate a more indepth conversation about YOUR TIMELINE… how you envision your life unfolding say over the next 5 to 10 years.
Guys don’t get how things work… especially not Engagements – Weddings – and female reproduction
He probably thinks he’ll propose one month, and you guys will marry the next (men when they DO PROPOSE tend to be very much in a hurry… almost as if they’ve now made up their mind that they’ve found THE ONE that they are afraid you’ll leave / change your mind). There are many Brides-2-B who can tell you how they had to slow their guys down (bring them down to earth) and explain that planning a wedding takes time… 6 months is hard, 9 to 12 easier, and over 12 for many more realistic (if you want a good sized family wedding).
I myself am planning an Elopement to a Destination Wedding (just the 2 of us) and we’ve been engaged since April (ring bought first week of June) … and still I’m stressed with all the things that I have had to do… and the many that still remain unfinished (including the Back Home Reception that happens after we get home from the Honeymoon)
Weddings are a lot of work !!
As is having children… and getting pregnant… take a read at the Baby Boards here on WBee for more info on that.
If you guys want to have kids and enjoy them while you are young, you’ll want to get going on that aspect soon (at least before you are 35)
Hope this helps,