My venue has another reception right before mine! Need advice!
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My bff cancelled her wedding! Need advice!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    contrarymary    October 17, 2009   Placentia, CA

    My bff cancelled her wedding two months from her actual day! I don't want to explain as to why since its not my business to say, but as her MOH, I offered to cancel her vendors for her but I am heartbroken at all the money she already spent on her down payments (not only did she make her initial deposits, she also paid several of her vendors in installments!)....she hasn't sent me her contracts yet, but I do have the contacts for each vendor. Are there any lawyers in the house that can maybe give me advice on how to get the most $ back for her? For instance, i know that the initial deposits are non-refundable but how about the installments??? aren't those usually refundable? Or is she just truly out of luck? Help!

     
    2.
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    Helper bee
    million    October 24, 2009   Cape Town

    First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your BFF. I'm sure it was a difficult decision and she must be hurting massively right now.

    A few ideas: If any of the vendors give you a hard time, ask if they will consider a full refund if they are able to rebook that date. I can understand their position from a business perspective, but I doubt most vendors are in the business of making money on canceled weddings if they can recoup the money elsewhere.

    Also, if getting full refunds appears hopeless, are there any vendor services that you might be able to use in a different way? Maybe the vendors could "re-package" something for the price that's already been paid out and use it as a pick-me-up for your BFF. For example, with catering - throw a small, intimate dinner for close friends; photographer - do a photo session with her closest girlfriends, or family portraits, or her pet dog (lots of people do this!).

     
    3.
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    Bumble bee
    Querida       Sugar Land, TX

    What a great friend you are!  I feel very sad for your BFF, I'm sure her decision was heartbreaking. 

    I don't have any legal advice, but I think the re-package idea is great.  Also, I wonder if the vendors would be willing to refund IF they got booked again for that date...  As in if you can sell this date, bff gets her (recoverable) $$.  Craigs list and or the WB local boards or classifieds might be helpful in just getting the word out that this vendor is now open for this date.

    Good luck and Hugs for your bff.

     
    4.
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    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    I was always under the impression that the deposits were non-refundable but everything else was! As in, you don't owe the full amount unless you utilize the full services?

    Hopefully they will work with you. I'm sorry for your friend, that's sucky =(

     
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    Honey bee
    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    I'm sorry to hear your friend canceled her wedding.  I wrote about a canceled wedding a few weeks ago, its tough because you don't know what to say or do.  Its great that you're being so supportive.  I'm sure this is for the best .  But, as far as getting the money back, I think they're out of luck!  So horrible.  My friend wasn't able to get the deposits or the installments back, the only thing the vendors did offer (given the circumstances I think they felt bad) is that she could use their services at some other time.  So if she randomly threw a party she'll have a DJ and photographer, and possibly the food.  Sorry again.

     
    6.
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    Busy bee
    contrarymary    October 17, 2009   Placentia, CA

    ok, thanks for the advice ladies! I will bring up the re-packaging idea to the vendors however she is understandably too upset to even bring up that idea to her right now.  i'm going to at least try to get back the other deposits she made beyond the initial deposit! wish me luck! thanks!

     
    7.
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    Bumble bee
    ErinMarguerite    July 2009   DC Area

    You are a great friend.  I'm sorry to hear that your friend is going through this, but I'm really glad you're there to help.  Good luck with all the vendors.

     
    8.
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    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    That's very nice that she has you to help her.  Good luck!

     
    9.
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    Blushing bee
    GretaEhm      

    The above tips are good but don't make one single call until you carefully review each contract.

    You need to know she stands with each vendor before negotiations are possible.

     
    10.
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    Helper bee
    creme_de_violet    9/12/2010   San Francisco

    Hi Contrarymary, how did things turn out?  Were you able to get any of the money back?  How is your friend holding up?

     
    11.
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    Busy bee
    contrarymary    October 17, 2009   Placentia, CA

    Hi Ladies! Sorry with my wedding and the holidays I totally forgot to update everyone!  We changed her reception into a Breast Cancer Benefit! Its going to take place in February or March!   I can't believe how lucky she was that most of her vendors were so willing to work with us in changing the dates and times of the party!  We were able to downgrade her per plate cost at the hotel, her photog & videog is going to be there for just what she paid them already and not a cent more, her florist is going to do the decor still, and we are charging people some money to get in, and most of the proceeds will go to the foundation! (still trying to see what the foundation will be giving back to her, but pretty sure they will give her back the cost of food) 

    I think her sister read about a similar situation with another bride who did this on the day of her wedding (the groom was a run away groom? don't remember details) so it was a great inspiration since she's already a member of this breast cancer foundation!  She has become such a goody two shoes and a philantrophist! How can I be like that? HA!

    Plus we all get to party and play dress up in February in Florida! I can't wait!

    In other good news, she has a new boyfriend too!  Very excited for her, he seems very sweet.   Keep your fingers crossed that this benefit will work out well!

     
    12.
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    Bee Keeper
    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    That's a great idea - Bravo for taking something painful and turning it into something positive!

    In the situation you are referring to, I think the groom cancelled the wedding, so the bride threw a Halloween bash for senior citizens, as her venue was near a nursing home. 

     
    13.
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    Busy bee
    contrarymary    October 17, 2009   Placentia, CA

    Lindsay! yes...that was the situation! i remember reading the article a while ago.

    But i think the bride was jilted the day off her wedding so it was a do it now or lose it it all situation.

    My bff has the help and support of her warrior bridesmaids (her sis and me and another friend) who have been calling all vendors relentlessly to push for a new date, get some freebies for charity work!  Its been working! (I think the fact that a few of us have blogs and do vendor reviews have worked in our favor)

     

     
    14.
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    Busy bee
    farfromordinarybride    December 31, 2010   PA

    I think that it's awesome that she is looking to turn her situation into a blessing for others and you are a wonderful friend.

     

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