(Closed) My big fat Chinese Wedding

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Awww…I totally feel you!  My younger brother (2 years younger) and I were also newly engaged within months.  He was engaged in April 2006 and I was engaged in August 2006.  He and his FI set their date for July 2007 and we were told that we had to get married in 2008 by his now wife’s mother! 

Apparently, it is a cultural no no to have siblings have the same "happy" occasion in the same lunar year as one happy event will be canceled out by the other.  This was new news to me and my family and after long discussion and lots of tears, my FI and I finally decided that we would just get married in 2008.  In the end, it ended up being better as we were able to take the time and save more money and I wasn’t as stressed out as I could have been. 

Yes, we did succumb to my brother’s MIL and I know that it sounds horrible but we’ve come to terms with it and they did get engaged first.  One year really isn’t going to make a difference in the long run and it is nice to have the full attention of the family this year.  Good luck with whatever comes out of your situation. Just remember that you will be marrying your FI in the end. 

Post # 4
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Where are you located? Honestly, I think September sounds fantastic. Of course, who am I to say anything though *has a September date*. It’s not too hot, not too cold..

Post # 5
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree with JCM–September is one of the few perfect weather months all across the country. 

Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I’m sort of in the same boat.  We are going to get married sometime this summer, but we are asking my grandmother about which dates are ok to have the wedding on.  I know that there are some dates in August that are ok, and some are better than others.  I suggest consulting the lunar calendar 🙂

Post # 8
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I say take May! I’m getting married two weeks before my finals… I’m taking 21 hours this semester in OT school (getting a masters) and seriously, it isn’t that bad (yet). But as the op stated before, one year won’t make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things. Heck, I’ve waited like 3!

Post # 9
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

Since it’s January 2008….May 2009 should be plenty of time to plan and handle finals at the same time.  You just have to be very organized and don’t procrastinate.  While it’s inevitable to feel a little stressed/anxious that one week before your wedding, if you have all your DIY projects done way before finals, you’ll be in good shape.

Hopefully your sister won’t have a hang up about the younger sister getting married first?

Post # 10
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

typically, the oldest sibling should get married first.  if the younger one gets married first then you may have to do a ceremony. but i don’t know if that still applies to your situation since your sister is engaged to be married too. it also depends on how traditional you are.  i’m getting married before my oldest sister and the ceremony goes like this…i buy her a pair of pants and I walk under them. i think typically, this is done with males, but there are other ceremonies too with shoes…like buying our older sibling shoes if you get married before him/her. since we didn’t do this ceremony with my second sister who got married, (my oldest sis is still not married), we must go with tradition and do it this time to ensure that my oldest sis gets married.

Post # 11
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

Look on the bright side, you’ll have a few more months to save up towards a house and nice honeymoon. Don’t worry. The time will fly by! We got married in August and my mom freaked but oh well.

Post # 12
Member
41 posts
Newbee

My FH is going to have to buy my older brother a pair of pants for us to walk under.  If I had a younger brother, FH would have to buy him a pair of shoes.  That is what my parents had to do when they got married.

Post # 13
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2007

As much as it disappoints you to wait another year, a huge plus about being the 2nd one to get married is you can probably get away with a smaller wedding. i.e. the distant relatives can receive an invite to your sister’s wedding and not be offended if you decide to have a more intimate wedding.

Post # 14
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

I think you should defnitely wait a year if possible seeing that your list of cons seems larger than your list of pros to "just do it."  Moreover, in teh next year you will have all the attention for your wedding instead of playing second to your sister.  Have you even thought about that?  What if you both plan your weddings this year and you come into conflict about ideas, invites, and worse what if you start to try to "outdo" each other?  I don’t know about sister relations in general or even your own as I have brothers but after reading so many blogs about women, yikes, this *could* happen.  In the end whatever option provides the LEAST conflict and stress for you is the BEST option.  Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
20 posts
Newbee

Wait a year and you have more time to prepare your wedding. Think in an opposite perspective, it’s not so bad, am I right?

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