My biggest wedding dilemma so far. What would you do???

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: What would you choose?
    30 minute earlier start time. 5:00 & guarenteed photos not in the dark. : (25 votes)
    36 %
    hour and a half earlier time change. 4:00 & no first look, or photos beforehand. : (40 votes)
    58 %
    no time change. please explain why. : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 2
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    cls9q:  I don’t think there’s any etiquette thing against this and honestly, who cares! lol

    I’d change it to 4. That way, if anything goes goofy, you still have plenty of day left to get your pictures in. 

    With a full month’s notice, you should be fine. You might want to call or send out a postcard/email/text the week before as a reminder. 

    Post # 3
    2679 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    If it were me, I would do what I want and change it back to four. Maybe send out some Mini MooCards with a reminder, or cheap postcards.

    Post # 5
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I would change it to 4pm, you get a buffer in case anything goes awry, and you also get longer to wear your dress 😉

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  RhianfaHW.
    Post # 6
    2264 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    cls9q:  A few points of clarification would be helpful to know:

    Is your ceremony outside? Is it taking place at the same venue as the reception? Also, if it’s ouside in December is it tented and do you have heaters? Or are you just from a super warm part of the country? LOL. December in Philly is freeeeezing for us!

    If you push your ceremony time to be earlier, are you planning on keeping the same time for the reception, or keeping that original start time of the reception?

    I’m going to be honst here. My best friend printed the inccorect time on her wedding invitations (she posted 2:30 when the ceremony was supposed to start at 2) and although she called everyone on her list, a ton of people still showed up late.

    I think you have options, but it would help to know your schedule!

    Post # 8
    2264 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    cls9q:  Oh GOOD! Sundown in Philly is freezing, hahaha!

    She did not send out paper reminders. She just made phone calls to everyone on the guest list. If you change your time, maybe the paper reminders would help? Maybe you could find cheap magnets. It would be an even better reminder because it would be on the fridge! Or at least it would be a better reminder for someone like me who is constantly near/opening/grazing out of the fridge LOL.

    I would also put a bolded notice on your wedding website (if you have one!) about the time being moved.

    The other option if you decide you’re nervous about whether your guests would remember the time would be to do a really romantic candlelight ceremony. You could line the aisle with hurricane glasses and candles. It would look beautiful as the sun went down! You could then use candles to light a pathway back to the reception area.

    Post # 9
    26 posts
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I think you’re fine changing the time earlier since you’re giving a month’s notice. I agree with all the other bees that you have to send out a reminder somehow.


    A few questions…are you going to be able to change the time of the cocktail hour at the venue? Will your venue allow you to start earlier?

    How long is your ceremony? And where are you going to take pictures after the ceremony? If outside, I think you’re still going to have daylight challenges anyway. It’s close to 5pm now, as I am writing, and it’s pretty dark already (I’m in NY).

    Theoretically, you could be starting your pics now. If you run 10-15 min late and then have a 30 min ceremony, you’re at about 4:45pm. Keep an eye out for how it looks by you at this time of day.

    Good luck!

    Post # 10
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I would change it to 4. If people don’t pay attention to the reminders and show up late, it’s their own fault for missing your ceremony and beginning of the reception. If it’s only a half hour time difference, those same people will be walking in late DURING your ceremony, which I personally would hate.

    Post # 11
    4402 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    The only problem with changing the time to 4 is–what will the guests do with the extra hour and a half they now have before the reception starts? Or would you just start the reception earlier (and if so, does that make everything too early)?

    Just some questions I had. 

    I would also definitely send out a postcard or something with the new info on it so people have a corrected in invitation to grab when they’re heading to the wedding. 

    Post # 12
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you’re changing start time might as well make it 4, but if you can you should mail a postcard or something about the change so people don’t forget. I stick wedding invites on my fridge and might just look at the invitation and forget about a time change.

    Post # 13
    367 posts
    Helper bee

    We are having our ceremony at 4pm as the sun is setting at 5.30pm and the reception starting at 6pm. Our photographer still wants us to have those beautiful sunset photos of just us so we are doing first look and a few photos after too. The guests can entertain themselves for an hour, I’m going to suggest everyone bring some hip flasks or hand out mini bottles of wine if I think we can get away with it without paying service charges. Essentially the bride will arrive at 4.15, ceremony goes for about 15-30mins and then the guests can start on the canapes in 45mins. Our ceremony is about a 5-10minute walk from the reception too.


    I would start an email thread with all the guests and send out reminders once a week for a few weeks before and once more the day before.

    Post # 14
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Change it to how you want it! Save you the stress, it sounds like your guests won’t mind and a full month’s notice to rock up between 1/2 – 1 1/2 hours early seems more than fair. And if they do mind.. they’ll get over it. All the best.

    Post # 15
    1272 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    cls9q:  I’d change it to 4! It’s obvious that you need to change the time regardless, so you mineaswell give yourself as much time as possible to reduce stress. I’d do what you said in regards to splitting up the news via word-of-mouth, but I’d also get a postcard out in the mail to guests right away. Just inexpensive ones that let them know about the time change. I find that people are more likely to remember something if they have a physical reference to double-check.

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