Post # 1
And what should be happy, and the one day a year that is all about me, doesn’t get to be. I have a two year old, and I love him to death, but every single day is all about him, and if it’s not, it’s about Fiance. And that’s fine…I’m always the person to put everything before my needs. You kind of have to do that as a mom. But I really look forward to my birthday every year because I always get to do something special that I want to do…not what my son or Fiance wants to do.
This year, we’re broke…like 50 dollars after bills broke. Christmas plays a part in that because we have to buy for everyone, but whatever. It’s not like we go crazy…but 20 bucks a head for like 20 people gets really expensive! But anyway…I feel really sad and angry that I can’t at least go out to dinner, or have a cake. We just can’t afford it. I always go out of the way to make other family members birthdays special…but when it comes to mine I always get forgotten, or no one makes any special effort, even Fiance.
So, I get to spend all day at home like every other day hanging out with my two year old and cleaning and homework with nothing special. Hanging with him is not bad…but it’s not how I want to spend my one real day a year. It’s supposed to be my day….
but it’s not, because it can’t be. I’m like crying upset over this and I know it’s stupid. But I was looking forward to maybe going shopping and getting a new dress and going out on a child-free date where I can relax..but instead I’ll end up making pork chops (hate them..but DS likes them so I make them often so he will eat something for once) then cleaning up, doing dishes, and then bath and bedtime, and then homework.
Sigh. Thanks for letting me vent.
Post # 3
Why don’t you talk to your FI? Tell him that you’d love a “date day” for your bday. Do you have any friends who could babysit for you?
If you can’t afford to go out to eat, maybe make food together (food that you like) & have a picnic style dinner or lunch. If DS needs a pork chop, maybe make one the day before & reheat it the day of. Or maybe the babysitter could do that?
Even with no money, you still can have a great bday… but it sounds like you’re more upset because your family & Fiance really don’t do anything for you. I guess if they’re used to you as the planner, than no one else is used to planning things? Could you start planning the family parties with another family member? That way you have help & its not all on you? I’m sorry though :(.
Post # 4
I’m sorry you aren’t able to do what you want to do but you can make it fun! Go to the store buy some cheap cake mix, some baking chocolate, sprinles whatever you guys like and make it a fun activity you can do with both your son and Fiance or ask your Fiance to cook and bake with your son while you take a nice bath or just do whatever. I know its bummer you can’t go out but you can always turn it around!
Post # 5
@canthugallcats: These are great ideas!
And I totally get what you mean about working hard to put in the effort to make other’s peoples extra days special, it’s so disappointing and can make you really angry when they don’t do the same for you. I’d speak up now and let your Fiance know that you don’t expect him to spend a ton of money, but you put a lot of effort into making sure everyone else’s special days are nice and would appreciate some effort. Have a friend babysit, he can make an (inexpensive dinner), put in your favorite movie even if it’s not his fave, and he can sing you happy birthday and give you massages and whatever. Thoughtful and nice does not have to mean expensive! But if you keep this inside I just know it’ll ruin your day, so speak up!
Post # 6
I’ve talked to him about it already. I’ve gotten the “We’ll do something special” but what he means by special is doing the dishes and not going over to his friends house that night. He knows how I feel about it…we’ll see what happens.