Post # 1
When my boss talks to another female coworker (who’s around my age) they are always laughing and joking around non stop. (Respectfully, of course). But then when I have a meeting with him, he barely smiles once or makes me feel comfortable. I feel down in the dumps, like I have to fight for his attention. I look professional, put together, I do my work, take initiative, and try my best. I’m such a bubbly person in my every day life. But I just can’t impress this guy. I hate it. He always stresses how other people are essential to the company. I don’t feel appreciated. He and this other girl just kind of naturally click and I’m so jealous.
Post # 3
I once had a boss that ranked us from her most to least favorite employees. Luckily, I was #2!
But she was AWFUL to the employees she liked less. Good luck!
Post # 4
Not being the favorite, as long as he treats everyone fairly, can work in your favor actually.
If something happens your boss is less likely to take it as a personal affront which can cause an even less desireable reaction. He is more likely to look at situations with logic than emotion if he respects you and your work, but you are not friends the way he is with the other employee.
I would rather be highly respected for the work I do as an employee rather than liked with an average level of respect.
Post # 5
@chicagoworkinggirl: It happens. In the same way we click with certain people in our personal lives and become great friends, a boss and employee can click too. I am a people manager and I have a working relationship with all of my staff. However, there are a couple of people on my team who I engage with more because our personalities mesh. We can joke around and enjoy spending time together.
I treat everyone fairly but a boss has no obligation to like everyone equally or be extra friendly with everyone. As long as your manager isn’t being disrespectful and the work isn’t suffering, then he is doing what is expected of him. I always find it best to keep work relationships professional, but there are some people who I feel okay joking around with and others where I do not. Just focus on the work is my suggestion.
Post # 6
@chicagoworkinggirl: Ugh, that sucks. It is a nightmare being on the wrong side of office politics. However, use this as motivation to keep yourself moving forward in your career. Have you looked around your company at opportunities that you could lateral yourself into? Maybe if you find something that is a better fit within your company, you could be on the favorable side of office politics – however, it’s not guarantee as politics are so arbitrary.
I totally feel your pain. I used to work in cutthroat Big 4 accounting, and I’ve had my share of seniors who did NOT like me. I kept my focus and stayed motivated and no longer have to deal with any of that crap. 🙂
Post # 7
I am not a favorite either. But I know why. I am NOT a “yes person” and I refuse to kiss ass! I just do my job and I do it well.
Post # 8
Argh I’m not a favourite either. Its sort of awkward too when we’re altogether because they have more inside jokes and I just sort of sit there uncomfortably. I feel crappy sometimes because of it but w/e. Or I’ll be in the office and the other people will be in his office laughing and talking and I’m at my desk becuase i don’t feel comfortable just walking in and talking to him!
Post # 9
@chicagoworkinggirl: It’s just how people are – I am sure there are people you click with and ones you don’t. Maybe they have something in common they talk about? Like sports?
Try and not take it personally! Like you said, you do your job and he treats you respectfully; that’s all you can ask for. I honestly think it’s better to not be friends with your boss because at times it complicates things.
We have a very laid back environment, but when it gets busy I can see my boss is all rattled and not really there. I used to worry that he didn’t like me but he would shut off everyone. I remember actually one day we started talking about interviews and hiring process – and he told me how there were some things he didn’t like about some of the candidates. That kind of shocked me – like what, you created an opinion of a person in that 1 hour you met them?? But looking back, we do that in our every day life all the time. I decided within the first 10 minutes of meeting him that I liked him, and I didn’t like another guy (who ended up being my manager, but he left 2 months later, and was actually a great guy) because he wouldn’t crack a smile to save his life. Whereas my current boss, is all fun and games until he’s not. I’m used to it now.
The last thing you want to do is try too hard. That will make things awkward for everyone. Continue to do your job at best you can, and keep your friendships for the outside world. Keep your chin up 🙂
Post # 10
I have the same problem with my work. I just do my job and leave the friendship to others. It does stink when others are the favorites but you can be a better worker than them because you aren’t always stroking egos.