Post # 1
So backstory…about a month ago my boss told me-in front of everyone-that my hours were being cut from 40 to 15/week. This means I have no health insurance, no money for the wedding, and potentially no way to move out of my parents once we’re married. To make it worse, it costs me about an hour of work a day just to drive to work and I’m working 3 hours/day now. So my boss is definitely not my favorite person.
I decided that since I’m now looking for a new job, I wouldn’t invite everyone from work (about 25 people) but only those who I would want there regardless of whether or not I’m working there. Today, my boss found out that she was not invited and she was very pissed off and thinks “it’s personal.” Of course it is! Why would I want someone there who is such a negative influence on my life?
My FI’s response to this was “why don’t you just invite her?” I could, but now that I’ve been set on not inviting everyone from work, we’ve invited enough other people that we’re getting full. And I have no desire to see someone who doesn’t have any respect for me (once again, told in front of everyone!) on my wedding day.
So my question is, what do I say to my boss tomorrow? Do I suck it up and invite her, or tell her something else?
Post # 3
I don’t think you should be required to invite everyone from your office. With SOs, that is an additional 50 people! I didn’t invite either of my bosses and they didn’t insult me by cutting my hours to less than half.
I think that you should say that you are sorry but you couldn’t invite everyone due to budgetary restrictions so you just chose people that you have a relationship with outside of the office.
Post # 4
I agree with MissAsB. I would politely tell her that you had to make some tough budget decisions and you are sorry if she feels it was personal. Unfortunately, your guest list is filled with close friends and family, even though you wish you could afford a larger wedding. That was how I got out of sticky situations when I was planning my wedding.
Post # 5
If you will be uncomfortable with her there, do not invite her. It is your day and there is no reason for you to be stressed or uncomfortable! You do not seem to be planning on staying at your job much longer, so it’s not like it will hurt you professionally. Tell her that you are on a strict budget because of finanical circumstances you had not anticipated and cannot afford to extend the invitation list.
Post # 6
Stick to your guns and do not invite her. It’s your wedding, you’re not required to invite anyone–especially someone who’s so negative towards you. Good luck!
Post # 7
Ditto what Neato anedo said! You don’t have to invite her to make her feel good, its YOUR day… don’t invite anyone that makes you feel bad/negatively. & don’t worry, you’ll get a new job soon enough!
Post # 8
MrsUerlings nailed this one! Oh, you’re facing “tough budget” issues alright, in large part, due to the severe cut back she made to your hours and health coverage. wow. I would look her straight in the eye and explain your tough budget issues to her in connection with the wedding itself but very strongly imply, or better yet, say straight up that the wedding expenses already in full swing coupled with the dramatic cutback in your work hours and health insurance, makes it impossible for you to invite everybody from work whom you would have liked to have invited. Let her wonder whether she’s even on that “would have liked to have invited” list!!
Post # 9
um, what??? That boss of yours has got some nerve!! She cuts down your salary considerably and THEN expects to be invited to your wedding?! I agree with PP – you have budget issues and can’t afford to host her, period.
Post # 10
I would just say “money is VERY tight at this point, and unfortunately I couldn’t invite everyone on the original guest list” and she should get the point.
Post # 11
Definitely don’t invite her! It’s not worth the stress that she’ll cause you. And I would just ignore anything she has to say about the wedding. If she’s rude enough to bring it up directly to you, I guess I’d go with MsUerlings, but don’t bring it up to her.
The witchy part of me would say what JoeBeth suggested. That’s kind of awesome, but would take more guts than I’ve got.
Post # 12
Wow I can’t believe how rude she is! Definitely don’t invite her! A wedding is a day to celebrate with your favorite people and to surround yourself with happy things, not to invite someone who will make u grumpy just by looking at her. Just explain the tight budget thing like everyone suggested and unless she wants to bump your hours back up she really can’t say anything.
Post # 13
It doesn’t sound like you planning on working there very long….so don’t invite her, especially since you don’t like her.
I’d just ask the people you did invite from your work to not talk about it much at work as so people don’t feel not included. If it comes up, I agree with the others and say we wish we could invite so many more people but really had to make big cuts due to the budget.