Post # 1
I need help deciding how to handle this…My Boss (who is a nice enough guy) wants to throw an engagement party for me and my fiance. I think it’s a nice gesture but he never asked us if we wanted one. He just came in and told me that he was throwing a party for us and that I should give him an invite list. If he had asked me I would have told him that we appreciate his offer but we don’t want a party.
I would be very uncomfortable having a party at his house for the following reasons: #1) I would feel like a guest at his house and not comfortable with the surroundings. #2) It seems awkward to invite guests to my Boss’s house. #3) My fiance doesn’t have a lot of friends who live in town so it would end up being all of my friends there and none of his. #4) He doesn’t really know my boss #5) My Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to go and thinks it would be a very weird situation – I agree with her.
So, how do I tell my Boss no thank you without hurting his feelings or coming across as rude?
Post # 3
That is a tough one! It was so nice of your boss to offer, but does seem awkward since it doesn’t sound like you and your boss are super close. Do you have a big office? Could you politely suggest to your boss that you turn the party into a work day luncheon or something and only include you, your Fiance, your boss, and your coworkers? That way it is more of an office-centered event and you won’t have to worry about inviting outside family/friends to it. Good luck!
EDIT: I should add that my FI’s coworkers actually did this for us when we got engaged. They didn’t make a huge party or anything, but served finger foods and cake in a conference room over lunch one day. It was a little awkward for me since I don’t know them at all, but they were all very sweet, so it was a nice party. It just took an hour or so, and then we all went back to work, so that minimized any awkwardness.
Post # 4
I agree that that type of thing should be done at work (lunch, brunch, after work drinks, etc). Maybe you can tell him that all of your weekends look full and you dont’ want to burden him and his wife, blah blah blah.
I just had a bridal shower at work that was a lot of fun. Maybe suggest doing something like that. I was able to share with everyone my wedding plans, etc. When you first get engaged you may not have a lot of answers so thats hard.
Post # 5
Thanks Gals! That is a great idea and a wonderful compromise. I don’t feel like such a horrible person and he still gets to have a small “event”. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that! Thanks again! I will mention this to him tomorrow.
Post # 6
Hooray! I’m so glad to hear that that sounds like a workable compromise 🙂 And it might even be a fun time!