My boyfriend and I were doing great… and then he politely dumped me

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Are you sure you want to get back with him? I mean he dumped you because you wouldn’t have sex with him. I’d say good riddance and move on. 

Post # 3
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I agree with PP. He broke up with you politely, and if he hadn’t done so, I would have called him an a**. Let him go, he’s not worth it.

Post # 4
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I know it’s your decision, but please don’t get back together with him! This guy sounds like an asshat…

Post # 5
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

GracieMarie:  it sucks. But it was only a month and a half with him and he saw the relationship going in a different direction than it was. You need to meet someone who shares your values

Post # 6
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

GracieMarie:  Wow, I think he simply dumped you for not wanting to have sex with him. It’s harsh, but seems like what happened. Do you really want to be with someone who is that “shallow?”

A month is really not that long to wait, so I don’t see why it should have been an issue if he truly liked you. I understand it sucks and you like him, but it doesn’t seem promising if he was willing to break up with you over this.

Post # 7
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

GracieMarie:  never ever waste your time on someone who doesn’t want you. Life is too short for that, there are too many men in the world for that. Let him go. 

Post # 8
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

You could always tell him the truth. I know that’s not the most attractive option you have, but I think that’s one of the best things you could do to get him back. 

I do, however, think you should probably just chalk this up as a loss. He broke up with you in a very respectful way, which I do appreciate, but the reason for him doing so was that he thought a month was a long enough wait. Do you really want to be with a guy who thinks that way? 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  .
Post # 9
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry I agree with the PP he is a ass and if can’t respect that you want to wait he is so not worth it. Better catches in the sea.  

Post # 10
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

He wanted sex. That was all. This was not a guy looking to fall in love. Honestly, he did you a favor.

Post # 11
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

GracieMarie:  I suggest that you move on.  He sounds like a good guy in that he was very respectful of your wishes and didn’t try to be manipulative.  But ultimately, it sounds like he’s not seriously interested in you if he’s breaking up with you because you haven’t had sex after only a month.  

Assuming that you are on the market for a serious guy, I think that you are taking a sensible approach.  

Post # 12
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

GracieMarie:  Move on and find someone who shares your values. It’s not worth it to try and get him back, and honestly I can’t think of a way to get him back without doing a 180 turn on intimacy.

This would send the wrong message. You don’t want to have a relationship in which the guy sees you as the girl willing to completely abandon her values just to appease him and have a chance of being with him.

Besides, a guy who wants a deep and meaningful relationship would not dump you over sex.

Post # 13
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

Well, in your late 20’s, early 30’s a month and a half is quite some time to wait unless one of the people involved is a virgin. Just my 2c. If you genuinely have feelings for this guy and see a future with him, by all means chase him down, but tread carefully. A guy once dumped me for the same reson, but we were 18 and it had been a week- totally different story! At this point in your life you know what you want- is it him?

Post # 14
Member
8707 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am going to be the 1% here and say that most posters are blowing this out of proportion. He handled the situation well, and I think you did, too! You stood up for what you wanted and didn’t have sex with him, weren’t pressured into having sex, and that’s awesome. However, I don’t think he’s acting like an asshole nor is he shallow. He didn’t force you to have sex, he didn’t force you to be uncomfortable, at this moment your wants in a relationship and his wants in a relationship are clearly on different levels, and that’s okay. Instead of pressuring you & his wants and needs not being fulfilled, he broke it off. How is that asshole behavior? How is that shallow? There’s nothing wrong with wanting a sexual relationship early on, just like there isn’t anything wrong with not wanting it. I think you both just wanted different things from the relationship, and that’s okay. I wouldn’t wait for him, I’d just move on and call it a life experience. ETA: Screw you, Weddingbee and your shitty broken layout.

Post # 15
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

I just want to add that I disagree with all the PP that he must be a jerk or whatever because he is dumping you over this. Sex is a big part of emotional intimacy and healthy reltionships, and as much as us ladies would like to believe otherwise, for a guy it almost always starts out as a sexul attraction and turns into something deeper- to demand the opposite seems naive.

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